Timing: Dog plus baby?

[Anonymous]

Dogs are a lot of work! We had our dog 5 years before we had our son, she was a puppy, a rescue, and needed so much attention and care. I would definitely wait, it would feel like you had twins. Having said that, I couldn't imagine our lives without our girl, she brings great joy to our son. He's learned a lot from her, he's very careful and gentle, and lays his head on her.

I also vowed that our next dog would be an adult and potty trained. Potty training is way too much work! As another poster pointed out, some rescue groups, as well as shelters, have had the dog temperment tested. The DC shelter also offers behavioral classes after the adoption. Having the dogs evaluated is another step to ensure the best placement for the dog, and helps prevent returns. I'm a firm believer of shelter adoptions, saving a life teaches a child an invaluable lesson. Breeds aren't necessarily a better choice, some breeds are overbred and are prone to biting and nipping. Our dog was attached by a golden retriever, a dog that is suppose to be gentle, without being provoked.

[Anonymous]

I agree with previous posters that shelter dogs are the way to go. Purebred dogs can (certainly are not always) be temperamental or have health problems. There are so many sweet shelter dogs out there and I agree with previous posters, many shelters have benaviourists on staff who will help you choose the right dog for your situation. That is, if you decide to go ahead and adopt!

[Anonymous]

I'll cast my vote for the "wait" column. I am 14 weeks pregnant and have two dogs, one from the DC pound and one from a breed-specific rescue. While they are both essentially good dogs, they take work and I'm already trying to figure out how we will all manage when the baby comes. They especially take work when they are fresh from the pound and, in my experience at least, it takes about 6 months for them to settle in. It would be hard to be changing diapers and also dealing with house training accidents.


Thanks to the poster who suggested a book about introducing your new family member to pre-existing family dogs. Our dogs will have to go through an adjustment period of being bumped "down the ladder" in family heirarchy and I hope to make it easy as possible. I have a feeling that some doggy day care may be in our future!

PS: I do have two dogs and the OP is considering just one. That would probably help. But, I gotta say, even one dog is a big furry handful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Personally, I would not get a dog from a shelter with young children -- who knows what really happened to the dog before it arrived at the shelter and what latent personality defects there may be?? I am all for rescue dogs but maybe that will be the next dog, once the kids are older and I don't have to worry about them provoking a potentially abused dog. We got our dog when I was 2 months pregnant - the dog was 2 mos old at the time -- and it has worked out great. The dog and I had enough time to bond before the baby came, and he is Great with the baby. He was a little sad but has adjusted well - he was a great sanity saver to me all those sleepless nights! DC is now 19 mos and they play together, it is cute

But to answer your question, it sounds like you are too close to giving birth to get the dog now. I would want at least 5 months lead time.

Rescue volunteer here again - I had to chime in on this one. It's a really ironic misconception that "shelter dogs" are some special breed of dog. Certainly there are some dogs in shelters that have been abused. But the overwhelming majority of dogs who come into rescues and shelters are...the no longer puppies people got because they had to have a puppy and didn't want to adopt from a rescue or shelter but didn't really want to care for or train said puppy. These are "normal" singles, couples and families who abandon their dogs after deciding they don't have time/space for them anymore. I see it every day sadly. And even sadder is anticipating the huge rush in spring of the puppies who will then be 6-12 months and just aren't the novel Christmas gift they used to be. Nothing wrong with the dogs. Just the people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Personally, I would not get a dog from a shelter with young children -- who knows what really happened to the dog before it arrived at the shelter and what latent personality defects there may be?? I am all for rescue dogs but maybe that will be the next dog, once the kids are older and I don't have to worry about them provoking a potentially abused dog. We got our dog when I was 2 months pregnant - the dog was 2 mos old at the time -- and it has worked out great. The dog and I had enough time to bond before the baby came, and he is Great with the baby. He was a little sad but has adjusted well - he was a great sanity saver to me all those sleepless nights! DC is now 19 mos and they play together, it is cute

But to answer your question, it sounds like you are too close to giving birth to get the dog now. I would want at least 5 months lead time.

Rescue volunteer here again - I had to chime in on this one. It's a really ironic misconception that "shelter dogs" are some special breed of dog. Certainly there are some dogs in shelters that have been abused. But the overwhelming majority of dogs who come into rescues and shelters are...the no longer puppies people got because they had to have a puppy and didn't want to adopt from a rescue or shelter but didn't really want to care for or train said puppy. These are "normal" singles, couples and families who abandon their dogs after deciding they don't have time/space for them anymore. I see it every day sadly. And even sadder is anticipating the huge rush in spring of the puppies who will then be 6-12 months and just aren't the novel Christmas gift they used to be. Nothing wrong with the dogs. Just the people.

I'm the poster you quoted. I hear you and am glad to hear there are some shelters out there that do honest assessments etc (I was unaware of this and perhaps would change my mind on this point if I could go to a place like that), but I also personally know people that got dogs from shelters and after a few months there were personality problems that the purchasers were unaware of (my mother's dog is a prime example -- we cannot bring the kids around him). I know people make the dogs that way, and the dogs are the innocent victims, but it is what it is at that point when we are talking about bringing those dogs around babies and toddlers. FWIW, I am in no way saying a dog from a breeder is superior -- our "purebred" (what a joke) dog is from what we deem in hindsight a puppy mill, and we have spent thousands on medical bills, but he is just about the sweetest thing personality-wise that you'd ever meet.

[Anonymous]

Advice from a mom: Unless you want to have 2 kids at once, don't get a dog! We had a dog before our son showed up and now I feel like I have 2 kids. Unless you have a large backyard and don't need to walk the dog, I would say don't do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Personally, I would not get a dog from a shelter with young children -- who knows what really happened to the dog before it arrived at the shelter and what latent personality defects there may be?? I am all for rescue dogs but maybe that will be the next dog, once the kids are older and I don't have to worry about them provoking a potentially abused dog. We got our dog when I was 2 months pregnant - the dog was 2 mos old at the time -- and it has worked out great. The dog and I had enough time to bond before the baby came, and he is Great with the baby. He was a little sad but has adjusted well - he was a great sanity saver to me all those sleepless nights! DC is now 19 mos and they play together, it is cute

But to answer your question, it sounds like you are too close to giving birth to get the dog now. I would want at least 5 months lead time.

Rescue volunteer here again - I had to chime in on this one. It's a really ironic misconception that "shelter dogs" are some special breed of dog. Certainly there are some dogs in shelters that have been abused. But the overwhelming majority of dogs who come into rescues and shelters are...the no longer puppies people got because they had to have a puppy and didn't want to adopt from a rescue or shelter but didn't really want to care for or train said puppy. These are "normal" singles, couples and families who abandon their dogs after deciding they don't have time/space for them anymore. I see it every day sadly. And even sadder is anticipating the huge rush in spring of the puppies who will then be 6-12 months and just aren't the novel Christmas gift they used to be. Nothing wrong with the dogs. Just the people.

I'm the poster you quoted. I hear you and am glad to hear there are some shelters out there that do honest assessments etc (I was unaware of this and perhaps would change my mind on this point if I could go to a place like that), but I also personally know people that got dogs from shelters and after a few months there were personality problems that the purchasers were unaware of (my mother's dog is a prime example -- we cannot bring the kids around him). I know people make the dogs that way, and the dogs are the innocent victims, but it is what it is at that point when we are talking about bringing those dogs around babies and toddlers. FWIW, I am in no way saying a dog from a breeder is superior -- our "purebred" (what a joke) dog is from what we deem in hindsight a puppy mill, and we have spent thousands on medical bills, but he is just about the sweetest thing personality-wise that you'd ever meet.

I volunteer with a breed-specific rescue, and we are VERY careful about matching the right dog with the right family. This is because it benefits NO ONE to do otherwise. The problem with shelters - and a lot of rescues - is that it's very, very hard to really assess a dog's true personality and behavior within the confines of a cage/kennel. And foster homes are very hard to come by. So I don't think shelters are trying to do some sort of bait and switch as you suggest (why would they - you're just going to bring the dog back which is hard on the dog and the shelter) they just really are doing the best they can with a dog under stressful circumstances. So many times a foster to adopt situation works great if the dog hasn't been in a foster home before. It's a win-win even if you don't end up adopting the dog.

And FWIW - we adopted our 2 large dogs from a rescue 8 years ago, and they have been just wonderful with our now 2 year old crazy toddler. I have also seen purebred dogs that friends have adopted as puppies from breeders turn out to be snappy and really aggressive. It's not a "you get what you pay for" scenario with living beings. Wish it was that simple!

[Anonymous]

WAIT! I have a 5 year old shelter dog I got as a puppy and had for 3 years prior to giving birth. My dog was my first "baby" and I can't imagine life without her, however...Any dog plus a newborn/baby/toddler,etc is A LOT of work. A dog that is adjusting to being a part of your family will require even more work and attention. Do yourself a huge favor and wait to get the dog after you've settled in with your new baby. Then take your time to find the right dog that will blend well with your new family. All the best of luck to you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Advice from a mom: Unless you want to have 2 kids at once, don't get a dog! We had a dog before our son showed up and now I feel like I have 2 kids. Unless you have a large backyard and don't need to walk the dog, I would say don't do it.

Even if you have a large back yard you need to walk your dog. They usually don't just run around on their own...