Toddler talks at home but not day care

[Anonymous]

I don't think it is necessarily a speech issue but it is concerning. You don't want your child to spend 40+ hours a week in an environment where he is too anxious or not comfortable enough to talk. That level of stress is terrible for healthy development. I would be concerned about why a toddler is so uncomfortable or overwhelmed and find alternate childcare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does he talk anywhere else but home or with family? selective mutism?[/quote] There is a kid in my friend's class who has done this since birth, she's in 6th grade now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is very common. I am a director of a child care center, and I think it is great that the teacher brought the issue to to your attention. Hopefully you told her that your child communicates well at home so that she knows it is not a speech and language issue. (Plus, remember that parents often have an easier time understanding children who may have articulation issues and are not understood by non-family members, and are not always the best judges of language skills--though it sounds like this is not the case here.) Keep an eye out for selective mutism/anxiety issues but I have seen many, many children who were quiet as toddlers in the day care setting begin talking much more as they grow a little older.

OP here. I read up on selective mutism, a rare disorder. Doesn't seem to apply to him, but I will keep aware. He is engaged and a lot of eye contact, just holding back on words. And, son just transitioned from the duck room to the older tiger room. When he was a duck, he didn't talk much, but neither did the others. Now there are older, talking kids. He is learning and trying to say their names. But teachers don't hear that!

I am glad for the teacher comment. She knows kids.

If still issue at his 2 yr visit I will ask doctor. I heard Virginia has good intervention if needed.

[Anonymous]

My child is younger but similar. We actually had his teacher babysit a few weeks ago and she commented about how much more talkative he was at home versus school. I wouldn't worry about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is very common. I am a director of a child care center, and I think it is great that the teacher brought the issue to to your attention. Hopefully you told her that your child communicates well at home so that she knows it is not a speech and language issue. (Plus, remember that parents often have an easier time understanding children who may have articulation issues and are not understood by non-family members, and are not always the best judges of language skills--though it sounds like this is not the case here.) Keep an eye out for selective mutism/anxiety issues but I have seen many, many children who were quiet as toddlers in the day care setting begin talking much more as they grow a little older.

OP here. I read up on selective mutism, a rare disorder. Doesn't seem to apply to him, but I will keep aware. He is engaged and a lot of eye contact, just holding back on words. And, son just transitioned from the duck room to the older tiger room. When he was a duck, he didn't talk much, but neither did the others. Now there are older, talking kids. He is learning and trying to say their names. But teachers don't hear that!

I am glad for the teacher comment. She knows kids.

If still issue at his 2 yr visit I will ask doctor. I heard Virginia has good intervention if needed.

PP you quoted here.
He sounds just fine to me! I'd be willing to bet that he'll start talking a great deal more once he's spent more time around children who are talking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is very common. I am a director of a child care center, and I think it is great that the teacher brought the issue to to your attention. Hopefully you told her that your child communicates well at home so that she knows it is not a speech and language issue. (Plus, remember that parents often have an easier time understanding children who may have articulation issues and are not understood by non-family members, and are not always the best judges of language skills--though it sounds like this is not the case here.) Keep an eye out for selective mutism/anxiety issues but I have seen many, many children who were quiet as toddlers in the day care setting begin talking much more as they grow a little older.

OP here. I read up on selective mutism, a rare disorder. Doesn't seem to apply to him, but I will keep aware. He is engaged and a lot of eye contact, just holding back on words. And, son just transitioned from the duck room to the older tiger room. When he was a duck, he didn't talk much, but neither did the others. Now there are older, talking kids. He is learning and trying to say their names. But teachers don't hear that!

I am glad for the teacher comment. She knows kids.

If still issue at his 2 yr visit I will ask doctor. I heard Virginia has good intervention if needed.

It isn't that rare because I know of two children who had it. They are healthy children however they had this added anxiety and didn't speak anywhere but home. I still think he is too young for any diagnosis like that. I'm simply saying that failure to talk in public places doesn't = perfectly normal in all cases.

[Anonymous]

My child has the same issue. Talks nonstop at home but won't say a lot at daycare. We are not worried. You should only be concerned if you child is not talking at all by the age of 2. Even then, it may just be a slight delay and not a systematic issue. Also, on the anxiety front, I dealt with severe social anxiety as a child. It is debilitating but most grow out of it. I am an attorney now for what its worth. These things can be overcome. I believe that empathy is far more important than a strong social presence.

[Anonymous]

This is an old thread that somehow got stirred up. I think 2 is young for a diagnosis, but selective mutism is actually not that rare and-- for a very small child-- has a good chance of being effectively 'treated' with some behavioral techniques. Yes, you should be concerned if your child is not talking by the age of two, but you should also be concerned if your child does not speak in daycare (and certainly preschool) in a typical manner as compared to the other kids (after 6 or 8 weeks in the new setting).

Selective Mutism in particular can present differently than general social anxiety in young kids.

Also, there is a strong link between parents with anxiety and kids with anxiety, including selective mutism (at least one parent of a child with SM is more likely to have or have had an anxiety disorder themselves).

You don't want to go 'diagnosis shopping,' but if you think SM could be an issue, please read up on it and get your child evaluated by a psychologist.
FYI, The leading experts on Selective Mutism are the Child Mind Institute, Dr. Kurtz in NY, and Thriving Minds in michigan. There are also programs in Florida, I think at FIU. Child Mind and Kurtz have websites with a lot of information which, again, you can implement parts of even if you don't have a formal diagnosis.