If you have three (or more) children...

[Anonymous]

21:36 here,

Two of my kids are in school (one just started in September). Both go to before and aftercare at the same place. (They have been there for years, having started in the preschool program). The baby is in a home daycare, which is the hardest part of my life to manage because the hours are very short. Next year, I will be moving the youngest to the preschool where my older kids attend before and aftercare program, which will make my life a lot easier.

In case anyone is wondering, yes this does cost more than a nanny. But, I have great childcare with people I really trust. That is one of the most important things to making my life work. I don't second guess. I don't micromanage. I just hand over my kids and I know that everything will be fine - or that I'll get a call if it's not.


"Sorry to hijack, but as a less-than-organized mom I found both of these tips to be practical and useful. Any others, PP?"

In answer to this, I have lots of things that make my life work like the shoes on the steps. Here is what I do. Whenever something starts to drive me crazy around the house, if there is any way to change it so that my frustration level drops, I do.

Most recently, I got rid of dressers for my older kids and replaced them with plastic bins for their clothes, which we store in their closet. When they had dressers, the drawers were always a mess and the kids weren't able to help put away their clothes - at least not to my satisfaction. Now when I do laundry, after I'm done folding, I have the kids bring me all of their bins and I load them up. If one gets messy, they have to refold everything. This works because it's small enough not to be overwhelming like a dresser drawer.

Another thing I do is lay out everything the night before for everyone in the house. The rule is that you can help choose your clothes - at night. Whatever is out, you must wear. Backpacks are on the table. Before bed, my son's glasses are put at his spot at the breakfast table. Coats are laid out with the backpacks. Gloves, hats and a sweatshirt are all stored in the backpacks so that I never have to think about them.

If I think of anything else, I'll post again. I know there are more because whenever I get together with moms of my kids' friends, they always tease me about all of my house rules.

[Anonymous]

Thanks, 21:36. These ideas are great! They've really gotten me thinking about how to streamline our lives a bit. As you think of more rules that work for you all, keep 'em coming . . . .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
In answer to this, I have lots of things that make my life work like the shoes on the steps. Here is what I do. Whenever something starts to drive me crazy around the house, if there is any way to change it so that my frustration level drops, I do.

Most recently, I got rid of dressers for my older kids and replaced them with plastic bins for their clothes, which we store in their closet. When they had dressers, the drawers were always a mess and the kids weren't able to help put away their clothes - at least not to my satisfaction. Now when I do laundry, after I'm done folding, I have the kids bring me all of their bins and I load them up. If one gets messy, they have to refold everything. This works because it's small enough not to be overwhelming like a dresser drawer.

Another thing I do is lay out everything the night before for everyone in the house. The rule is that you can help choose your clothes - at night. Whatever is out, you must wear. Backpacks are on the table. Before bed, my son's glasses are put at his spot at the breakfast table. Coats are laid out with the backpacks. Gloves, hats and a sweatshirt are all stored in the backpacks so that I never have to think about them.

If I think of anything else, I'll post again. I know there are more because whenever I get together with moms of my kids' friends, they always tease me about all of my house rules.

Without meaning any disrespect, this sounds like you have military precision in the house. I am not sure what ages your children are, but I cannot imagine getting my toddler boys to do anything like this. I guess the question becomes what did you do when your children were younger than 3? Or are they very far apart?

[Anonymous]

For the organized mom: Do you think that you have more energy than some people or are you just very organized? I just don't think I have the kind of energy needed to keep everything going with three kids...I have two and I find it challenging.

[Anonymous]

21:36 again,

I do think I am more organized than most people, which is how I work a very demanding job without working overtime and manage an active family. I also think I have more energy than a lot of people. I am 48 and have two active boys and a one year old girl, all of whom I can outlast on any given day.

But, I am not sure that organization is what drives my household. Really what I like is having a peaceful and pleasant household. So, what drives me is eliminating everything that I can that would lead me to yell at my kids. I also make it my personal mission to send everyone out the door in the morning with a full belly and in a good mood - they have so much on their plates that I want to give them the foundation to make their day successful. I schedule homework with them so that we don't end up in battles. I don't have many TV rules, but the main one is that they have to have completed all responsibilities before it can go on - which means that on most days we don't watch any.

The shoes on the stairway came from a few mornings of not being able to find shoes, which in turn started everyone's day out badly. The clothes put into the laundry right side out came from me getting annoyed by having to take twice as long with laundry than necessary because I was having to turn clothes right side out before I folded them - and I was doing laundry for people who could all manage to get things in the laundry right side out. The gloves, hat and sweatshirt in the backpack came from realizing that I was always forgetting them and feeling bad that my kids would be cold at recess and it really is my responsibility to be sure they have these things each day.

I had to laugh at the thought of my house running like a boot camp. I can see how 11:05 might think this, but if only you could see us. I miss my share of nights in checking the school backpacks. My son occasionally goes to school without his glasses - and I don't leave work to take them to him. Much as I try, I doubt that there is a single room in my house that doesn't have a toy left behind after someone was playing. And, my personal closet is a disaster because all three of my kids love to play in it and are careful enough not to distroy anything, which is what would lead me to ban them.

But, 11:05 is right that most of what I do won't work for kids under three. I think mine were about three when I started with the shoes on the stairs. But, after observing her older brothers, my 14 month old will now do this with prompting. Also, at around age 3 I taught my kids to hand their coats over the banister that go up the stairs. The laundry rules came at about age five.

I am thinking about starting a thread about tips to help your household run smoothly because even participating in this thread has given me some new ideas. But I could certainly use some thoughts from others.

[Anonymous]

Yes we should start a new thread! I have a couple of tips that make things smooth around here:

We also pick out clothes the night before and lay them out.

Backpacks can only be unloaded at the table by me (mostly for the daily folders that my elem kids bring home with their work - it gets lost unless I see it first)

My kids have their own alarm clocks, and they go off 10 mins before I walk in their rooms to rouse them. Saves me from being the target of their wrath, and they're closer to human 10 mins. after waking.

I bought three laundry baskets that I fill with their stray items each evening. They have to carry them to their rooms or toy chests.

I also have a game we play to keep it kind of fun. Each day, if they do their chores on their own (no nagging) they enter their name into the fishbowl for a drawing on Saturday for the evening's entertainment. No limit to how many chores/ times you can enter. The more you do, the better your odds of winning. Winner can name their destination (last week DD6 won and we all went to lovely Chuck E Cheese... oh goody!) It works like a charm in my house!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:21:36 here,

Two of my kids are in school (one just started in September). Both go to before and aftercare at the same place. (They have been there for years, having started in the preschool program). The baby is in a home daycare, which is the hardest part of my life to manage because the hours are very short. Next year, I will be moving the youngest to the preschool where my older kids attend before and aftercare program, which will make my life a lot easier.

In case anyone is wondering, yes this does cost more than a nanny. But, I have great childcare with people I really trust. That is one of the most important things to making my life work. I don't second guess. I don't micromanage. I just hand over my kids and I know that everything will be fine - or that I'll get a call if it's not.


"Sorry to hijack, but as a less-than-organized mom I found both of these tips to be practical and useful. Any others, PP?"

In answer to this, I have lots of things that make my life work like the shoes on the steps. Here is what I do. Whenever something starts to drive me crazy around the house, if there is any way to change it so that my frustration level drops, I do.

Most recently, I got rid of dressers for my older kids and replaced them with plastic bins for their clothes, which we store in their closet. When they had dressers, the drawers were always a mess and the kids weren't able to help put away their clothes - at least not to my satisfaction. Now when I do laundry, after I'm done folding, I have the kids bring me all of their bins and I load them up. If one gets messy, they have to refold everything. This works because it's small enough not to be overwhelming like a dresser drawer.

Another thing I do is lay out everything the night before for everyone in the house. The rule is that you can help choose your clothes - at night. Whatever is out, you must wear. Backpacks are on the table. Before bed, my son's glasses are put at his spot at the breakfast table. Coats are laid out with the backpacks. Gloves, hats and a sweatshirt are all stored in the backpacks so that I never have to think about them.

If I think of anything else, I'll post again. I know there are more because whenever I get together with moms of my kids' friends, they always tease me about all of my house rules.

I will forward your tips to my pal, who's a single mom (full custody) to FIVE kids. She'll appreciate them!

[Anonymous]

WOW - I am learning so much - I only have 2 and want more but was wondering if I can manage. These tips are great. I have two babies one year apart and what helps me is having the coffee maker prepped the night before so it is ready to go first thing in the am to start my day.
After the kids go to bed - I pre fill all the newborns bottles with water and use pre measured formula containers so it is easy to pour -
I fill my other one's sippy cups with water or juice and put all his meals in small containers and store them in lunch boxes so if we want to go out for the day and they are both stressing me out - all I have to do is get them in the car and get the box out of the fridge.
Hmmm- I also do small loads of laundry more frequently so that it is not too much to handle at once and I end up prolonging the load.
I use a crock pot alot more now so that I just throw in the ingredients at 7am after the coffee is made and before the kids wake up and dont have to mess with dinner anymore that day - and the food turns out so soft that it is safe for my 18 month old and I dont have to sit and cut everything up for him.
I would love to see more tips from more moms - this is great and what DCUM should be about - sharing what works to be a mom.

[Anonymous]

I'd love a new thread too! Maybe we can get some new posters. I've got to get to work but would contribute to it later if someone else started it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have three kids, and before I would tell anyone to go for it, I'd urge caution. Talk to friends with three or more, babysit for friends with three or more... try to get a feel for what you'll be dealing with.

I have NO free time. A lot depends on your husband's involvement in helping you parent. Mine does not. I feel exhausted and overwhelmed, and I quit my job last year b/c I couldn't do everything. Something had to give. It was always me calling in sick when the kids got sick, or had doctor's appts, etc.

I would give anything for a free Saturday, but my husband just can't understand why I need a break. I'm pretty sure we're not going to resolve it, and I resent the hell out of him for not helping me more.

Be sure your foundation is strong, and your husband sees you as a partner, and you're in it 50/50. If you have that, you have a better chance at loving life with a big family. But, you really do have to expect that more will fall to you as the mom, and be ready to give up what little free time you have for at least the first 5-6 years after the youngest is born.

Whatever you do, don't jump in thinking it will all work itself out. Know your marriage, know your mate, know yourself, know your limits.

I think that this is good advice. Thanks for posting!