Furniture

[Anonymous]

Move the furniture back and ask, "What do you think of that?" Then report back here.

[Anonymous]

I think it would drive my brother crazy, but he's a nice guy so he wouldn't say anything. He'd probably move it back at the first opportunity, though, because he's a little OCD and small changes drive him crazy.

I'd be annoyed if someone rearranged a room into a configuration that made no sense. But if it was as good or better as before, I'd be fine.

[Anonymous]

My husband gets angry but that's only because he thinks I will hurt myself moving stuff. Other than that he doesn't care.

[Anonymous]

Man here. Another one of these "validate my side of the argument" questions with nowhere near enough information.

In a vacuum, with just the information given:you moved around furniture in a guest room which implies this room is only used by guests and didn't involve buying furniture, etc., then yeah, the answer you got before - "Angry? Get a life, it's just furniture" - is exactly right.

But you know, if you went out and bought furniture without consulting/conferring/alerting your spouse it would be a dick move. My wife and I are in the middle of buying new stuff for our living room - and we have spent nearly as much as I spent on my last motorcycle - if I went out and just dropped that kind of dough on a new bike without even talking to her about it...whoa! SHTF!!! This has reminded me just how crazy expensive furniture is.

If it isn't just a guest room and it doubles as his office or something..then again, yes, you definitely should've consulted him.

My wife is much shorter than I am and she is constantly suggesting furniture arrangements which are crowded and cluttered - she doesn't notice this because she has a really short stride (she is like the anti-ADA interior designer) - while I have to always be careful not to walk into or bump things. Drives me nuts. Yes, I get annoyed when she just goes and does this without talking to me.

No, I do not get angry, but I wouldn't just haul off and change the curtains or re-arrange pictures without asking her. And not because I'm a man and don't care about or do any of that stuff - I was a bachelor who was perfectly able to competently decorate my own house before I met her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Man here. Another one of these "validate my side of the argument" questions with nowhere near enough information.

In a vacuum, with just the information given:you moved around furniture in a guest room which implies this room is only used by guests and didn't involve buying furniture, etc., then yeah, the answer you got before - "Angry? Get a life, it's just furniture" - is exactly right.

But you know, if you went out and bought furniture without consulting/conferring/alerting your spouse it would be a dick move. My wife and I are in the middle of buying new stuff for our living room - and we have spent nearly as much as I spent on my last motorcycle - if I went out and just dropped that kind of dough on a new bike without even talking to her about it...whoa! SHTF!!! This has reminded me just how crazy expensive furniture is.

If it isn't just a guest room and it doubles as his office or something..then again, yes, you definitely should've consulted him.

My wife is much shorter than I am and she is constantly suggesting furniture arrangements which are crowded and cluttered - she doesn't notice this because she has a really short stride (she is like the anti-ADA interior designer) - while I have to always be careful not to walk into or bump things. Drives me nuts. Yes, I get annoyed when she just goes and does this without talking to me.

No, I do not get angry, but I wouldn't just haul off and change the curtains or re-arrange pictures without asking her. And not because I'm a man and don't care about or do any of that stuff - I was a bachelor who was perfectly able to competently decorate my own house before I met her.

OP here. It was literally just that. A guest room that never got fully unpacked during the move. Room was cleaned, boxes unpacked, and furniture rearranged to make accessing closet easier.

For those who are wondering why I am posting here ...this is a relationship forum ffs. I got my husbands reaction. He was pissed off. Which I thought was ridiculous and I told him that. I was just curious about whether I was out of line to not ask or discuss precisely where furniture should be placed. No other man I have ever known has cared at all about hone decor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man here. Another one of these "validate my side of the argument" questions with nowhere near enough information.

In a vacuum, with just the information given:you moved around furniture in a guest room which implies this room is only used by guests and didn't involve buying furniture, etc., then yeah, the answer you got before - "Angry? Get a life, it's just furniture" - is exactly right.

But you know, if you went out and bought furniture without consulting/conferring/alerting your spouse it would be a dick move. My wife and I are in the middle of buying new stuff for our living room - and we have spent nearly as much as I spent on my last motorcycle - if I went out and just dropped that kind of dough on a new bike without even talking to her about it...whoa! SHTF!!! This has reminded me just how crazy expensive furniture is.

If it isn't just a guest room and it doubles as his office or something..then again, yes, you definitely should've consulted him.

My wife is much shorter than I am and she is constantly suggesting furniture arrangements which are crowded and cluttered - she doesn't notice this because she has a really short stride (she is like the anti-ADA interior designer) - while I have to always be careful not to walk into or bump things. Drives me nuts. Yes, I get annoyed when she just goes and does this without talking to me.

No, I do not get angry, but I wouldn't just haul off and change the curtains or re-arrange pictures without asking her. And not because I'm a man and don't care about or do any of that stuff - I was a bachelor who was perfectly able to competently decorate my own house before I met her.

OP here. It was literally just that. A guest room that never got fully unpacked during the move. Room was cleaned, boxes unpacked, and furniture rearranged to make accessing closet easier.
/quote]

Ok, I'm the poster you responded to.

I'd say he's pissed about something else then - this is totally a proxy fight for something else and he's being a passive-aggressive dick. Well, aggressive-aggressive, but not direct - he's looking for things to get angry about or projecting his bad feelings onto you. If, for example, he was supposed to take care of setting up the furniture, but he kept procrastinating and never got it done, and you finally had to take matters into your own hands (seems reasonable to me, depending), well he may feel guilty/inadequate/bad about his failure. And he deals (very inappropriately) with those feelings by venting at you.

I donno, but I'd suggest that you: 1) not get angry back, 2) call him out on his irrationality (until he can give a non-silly explanation for his feelings about the furniture) and 3) call him out on his anger (which is almost never acceptable, but might be understandable if he weren't irrational). Refuse to tolerate it. That's my opinion. I would not accept it. If he persists, calmly refuse to engage him until he can explain is feelings thoroughly and in a contained manner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Angry? There's a strong chance I wouldn't even notice.

+1

[Anonymous]

No other man I have ever known has cared at all about hone decor.

Are we married to the same guy, OP? Oh my god. This is what my DH did very early on the marriage. He flipped out when I moved the dining room table around with the nanny so we could fit a pack n play in the corner of the dining room. Looking back there wasn't any other reason for his unreasonable reaction so I believed then and still believe today that its a power play. Only a manly man can move furniture around. He has done some other things like this over the years. Over reacted when I purchased a small step ladder. He didn't get around to it, it was on sale and I was at Target, so I purchased it. Flipped.Out. It's a sign if nothing else that he doesn't like your independence, and its good you are realizing something is off. By the way, DH uses that step ladder almost every day. Assuming there aren't other issues going on, it's time for you to really understand how he ticks. He may not be the person you think he is. Did you have a short courtship before marrying? I have learned the value of that a bit too late- he never blew-up when we were dating and if he did I would have had a clue.