Office party
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Anonymous
Is this OP? |
Anonymous
| Bullying and obnoxious as hell. |
Anonymous
Why is it bullying? |
Anonymous
| Very juvenile. I had someone who was once my closest friend in the neighborhood not invite my child to a bday party. We drifted apart this year and then she invited all of the other neighborhood kids but mine, even though are daughters used to play together and got along well. Fortunately, my daughter is small enough that I was able to shield her from finding out AND we went to a huge kids party that day. Tacky as it was, I'm fortunate to know her true character. Anyone who is callous enough to shun a kid is not someone I want to be around in any capacity. |
Anonymous
Not at all similar circumstances. |
Anonymous
Excluding someone is a bullying tactic. In school, it looks like this "No, you can't sit here. I'm saving i. No losers allowed." It can be outward as in the example I just gave, or subtle as in inviting everyone in the class (or this case office) except for one. |
Anonymous
| This is problematic, as if intentional, can tear a team apart. I was having a party recently, and realized quickly that if I invite anyone from the office, I have to invite 30-60 people, many of who would come. The problem was I can not afford dinner for 60 people (would be about $1,800). My solution was to invite none, but we had "birthday" lunch (I turned 50, a colleague turned 60)...So no one felt excluded (I hope). I was upfront that I kept the home birthday party to families and a few really close friends. (people I have been friends with for 30+ years). |
Anonymous
| This happened to me about five years ago at the office. Numerous people told the woman it was a loser move and she ended up telling me it was an innocent mistake that had happened to several colleagues. (It did not). The inside story was that she did not want any babies at her party. Why she did not think I would just understand that, who knows? |
Anonymous
| How in the hell can your boss tell you that you can't go to someone else's home? |
Anonymous
|
Sure, it's juvenile, etc. But someone needs to say it: OP should realize this person doesn't like her. The OP probably rubs people wrong or is otherwise unpleasant.
Every time I have a BBQ or other get together, I'm tempted not to invite a particular person from my team at work (while inviting the other four people). I just don't like her very much - she's snobby, gossipy, etc. I don't think my feelings have to do with bullying at all. Usually I just don't invite people on my team at all, to avoid the awkwardness, even though I consider the others to be my friends. But I agree you can't invite 19 of 20 people in an office. |
Anonymous
| OP, theres gotta be more to this story. Pretty mean to invite everyone from an office minus one. |
Anonymous
| I'm confused about the point of the original question. Is the person having the party someone superior to OP that she should be worried doesn't like her? Is she worried about potential career ramifications? Or just wondering if she's correct to be offended? |
Anonymous
First of all, inviting 4/5 people would be rude, although not nearly as obnoxious as inviting 19/20. Your dislike of this woman is not bullying, but continuously inviting everyone but her to an event you host would be bullying. Also, let's consider that the host is likely not BFF with every one of those 19 people. If your team is six (you + woman + other four) and your office is 25, and you invited the whole office to an event, the obnoxious woman's behavior would be lost in the crowd, no? |
Anonymous
+1 |