dating in my 40s

[Anonymous]

Hey OP, I've been there many times. How long did it take? Well, how long did it take you the first time? You said you met him online...

It took me a freakin' long time, that's how long. And looks-wise, my BF is not at all my type. But we work hard at making things work between us, and things are going well! I've had several 6 month relationships, and this one has just passed that mark, so I'm hopeful. Before him, I honestly lost count. I gave second chances too -- b/c some people are not great first daters, you could be off from a stressful day, whatever.

That being said, you sound down (and this happens to a lot of us around the holidays). You've gone through a break up that you're not over. I'm all for casually looking for someone else, but don't be surprised if you're giving off the wrong vibe b/c you heart isn't really into it. Maybe you'll get back together with your ex, maybe you'll pass by the next great guy b/c you're hung up on the ex. Time will tell. Just be open to the possibilities and keep doing things you like to do anyway. You'll get through the holidays -- just focus on what you're doing next and if all else fails, just find a good book or a movie, or come here to pass the time. Before you know it, new year, new possibilities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hey OP, I've been there many times. How long did it take? Well, how long did it take you the first time? You said you met him online...

It took me a freakin' long time, that's how long. And looks-wise, my BF is not at all my type. But we work hard at making things work between us, and things are going well! I've had several 6 month relationships, and this one has just passed that mark, so I'm hopeful. Before him, I honestly lost count. I gave second chances too -- b/c some people are not great first daters, you could be off from a stressful day, whatever.

That being said, you sound down (and this happens to a lot of us around the holidays). You've gone through a break up that you're not over. I'm all for casually looking for someone else, but don't be surprised if you're giving off the wrong vibe b/c you heart isn't really into it. Maybe you'll get back together with your ex, maybe you'll pass by the next great guy b/c you're hung up on the ex. Time will tell. Just be open to the possibilities and keep doing things you like to do anyway. You'll get through the holidays -- just focus on what you're doing next and if all else fails, just find a good book or a movie, or come here to pass the time. Before you know it, new year, new possibilities.

OP: Thanks. Good advice. Met ex after meeting 16 or 17 people...and that was just in the last round of dating. So yeah, it took a freaking long time. Feeling slightly better as I went out on Saturday night on a second date...still not sure I really see anything developing with the guy but I did have fun, and only spent some of the evening thinking about how much my ex would have enjoyed the music we went to hear...Thanks again.