how to cleverly yet directly address the drinking question

[Anonymous]

How about "getting over a stomach flu"

Of course you shouldn't have to lie, but at least this lie points toward a topic no one wants to discuss further.

I personally couldn't hold a glass of wine and not drink it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I personally couldn't hold a glass of wine and not drink it.

I think that is part of the issue about pretending or taking little sips. It's just habit to drink what is in your hand, and before you know it, it is an empty glass. I'm not a stickler on the alcohol issue, but obviously OP is in the 1st trimester when I think it is more of a no-no, although I could be wrong.

[Anonymous]

I apologize in advance if I am repeating some answers but did not read all of them.
I have been pregnant 3 times, and have used all excuses and will tell you what worked for me.
BTW - I did not have ONE drop of alcohol in any of my pregnancies, and am not judging those who have an occasional glass, but for me, I would never forgive myself if there was anything wrong with my babies. That is just me and how my mind works. I did not even crave it so that helped to.
I used to say I was on antibiotics and then I got - what is wrong or why? I am a horrible lier so that got sticky and did not work for me.
The best thing was to just get a drink and not sip it to avoid any questions. I had that self control as well.
If you cannot hold a glass and not drink it then I would get the cranberry/soda drink.
Or if you are a good lier then say you are on medication but be prepared for the nosey questions.

[Anonymous]

Unless you are known as the company lush no one will pay that much attention to how much you are or are not drinking. When I was first pregnant with #1, I hosted a girls night party and while I served margaritas to my guests, I was mixing up fruit smoothies for myself. No one said a thing even though the two drinks were easily distinguishable.

You'll want something to drink (of the non-alcoholic variety) I'm guessing, and whatever you get, aside from water, will resemble some sort of alcoholic drink. So you probably won't even stand out.

[Anonymous]

Not sure if it's possible but I found the best defense was to get myself my own drink - if you've got something in your hand, people won't ask. There are lots of things that "look" like a cocktail but aren't - cranberry juice and seltzer, plain seltzer with lime, etc. If you can get there early and pour your own drink/go to the bar and quietly order what you want, it will let you head off most if not all questions. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

I just went to my office holiday party this weekend and successfully fended of the nosiest of inquiries with cranberry and tonic. Just don't forget the lime garnish and little stir-sticks so it looks like everyone else's cocktail! I've also been known to order a glass of wine and discreetly dump some out somewhere (the bathroom, a planter) so that it appears that I'm drinking it. I should mention that I am a known wine-drinker so that level of deception was very necessary. I actually kind of got a kick out of fooling everyone. Plus I got to be stone-cold sober and watch the drunkards make fools of themselves! Enjoy!

[Anonymous]

I always just grab a glass of wine and walk around with it - maybe fill it or ask to have it filled less than full, or have my DH take a few drinks. I'll hold it to my mouth and take a tiny sip, or pretend to - all in all, I ingest well less than a tablespoon, and I don't think there is any harm in that. Then I'll lose it after awhile.

So much easier than trying to lie and answer questions . . .

[Anonymous]

My pregnancy was a surprise and my single girl social life involved a lot of bar nights, but I managed to go to happy hours and still keep (most) people in the dark till I was ready to tell them. I even managed to fool 40 people into thinking I was drinking at my own birthday party. (My friend who knew about the pregnancy helped me deflect free drinks by saying, "Oh, she's already had like 19 drinks, you do NOT want to get her another one." Then I'd say, "yeah, I'm a mess." it was kind of fun.)

If you're normally a beer drinker, the easiest way to deflect questions is by having a non-alcoholic beer in a glass. Yes, there is some alcohol - 0.5%, about 1/10th of the alcohol of a light beer. My doctor didn't have a problem with me drinking those. If you are sneaky about who's around when you order your fake beer, nobody will realize it's fake.

If you normally drink mixed drinks, it's easy to get a virgin cranberry vodka (cranberry juice + sprite or seltzer water) or a virgin 007 (orange juice + sprite) or just get a seltzer and say/pretend it's gin and tonic or vodka tonic. (don't do tonic water - it has quinine, which is supposedly bad for pregos.) Or you could have a couple diet cokes (you're still below the "okay amount of caffeine" threshold) and if anyone notices it's not a rum-and-diet, say "i couldn't sleep last night so i'm trying to wake up a bit before I have another drink."

Or you could just make excuses for why you're not drinking. Some possibilities:
(1) I've had this cold I'm trying to kick, so the doctor put me on antibiotics.
(2) We went out last night and I'm ridiculously hungover - the thought of alcohol makes me feel like throwing up.
(3) I'm trying to lose that last 10 pounds and thought if I cut out alcohol, that would do the trick.
(4) I promised my husband that he could be the one getting drunk tonight and I'd be the DD. We trade off.
(5) I have yoga at 8:00 a.m. tomorrow and the last time i went hungover, I fell on my head during downward dog.
(6) We just came from another party and I had a couple glasses of wine there, so I'm trying to sober up a bit.
(7) We have hubby's Xmas party after this and his boss is an Evangelical Christian so I have to stay pretty sober.

good luck!

[Anonymous]

I fake drank for months. Often I'd just switch my glass with DH's glass as his got low. I also had a club soda and said it was a vodka tonic.

[Anonymous]

cranberry and sprite or cranberry and soda is fantastic. i once had a bartender at the old ebbitt grill tell me he calls that drink the "it's a secret." just make sure you ask for it in a highball glass, NOT a water or pint glass, so it looks like an actual drink. the bartender will understand.

[Anonymous]

Your in a tough spot OP. If you fake drinking now and then announce your pregnancy, say in 4 weeks, than a nosey-know-it-all coworker will be like "BUT you were drinking at the Christmas party - how dare you, don't know you know the risks of drinking during pregnancy," yada, yada, yada....at least that is what happened on my end.

Depending on how formal/informal the party is can you use an excuse on how "you'll make your way to the open bar in a minute"...and then turn to speak with someone else, use the ladies' room, etc. ? I've gotten away with that one too.

[Anonymous]

i drank a lot of sparkling water and also used the designated driver excuse. in the end, i think people definitely suspected i was pregnant at times, but because i was obviously not looking to address it, no one was dumb enough to say anything about it until after i went public with the pregnancy.

[Anonymous]

OP here.
My original question was not to address peer pressure to drink, nor was I tempted to drink, just simply to be prepared for a direct, 'are you pregnant?'

The party came and went with little fanfare. I drank Ginger Ale, which prompted the question, 'you drinking Scotch and soda?' (My simple reply: 'why... yes!') I also played waitress for my group and while delivering drinks, I was easily able to order cranberry mocktails for myself.

I might be tempted by alcohol in my hand, so I found the trick was to drink something non-alcoholic.
Cleverly timed ordering also seems to work.
Thanks for everyone's suggestions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How about "getting over a stomach flu"

Of course you shouldn't have to lie, but at least this lie points toward a topic no one wants to discuss further.

I personally couldn't hold a glass of wine and not drink it.

I've done something similar except I say that I had some food poisoning last night so I'm just taking it easy tonight - BUT if you use that excuse you have to watch yourself during the day at work so nobody says "well you looked well enough to eat two danishes during the board meeting this afternoon".

[Anonymous]

Just say you feel a headache coming on so you're going to stick with water.