how to cleverly yet directly address the drinking question

[Anonymous]

As I'm sure many of you are this time of year, I will soon be attending my office holiday party and will undoubtedly be asked why I am not drinking.
My attempt at lying cause blushing, giggles... any direct 'are you pregnant?' questions will surely bring on an obvious response.

What are your best suggestions for how to deflect this question before it arises? How did you best handle, 'why aren't you drinking?' and are you pregnant?'

(No need for preaching about peer pressure. I am not drinking, I just need an easy response to fend off the wolves until I am ready to blab.)

Thanks in advance!

[Anonymous]

It is actually quite easy. Just get a glass of red wine. Take sips. A half glass of red wine is not going to hurt the baby. If you really don't want your office to know yet, then that's what I'd do (and have done).

[Anonymous]

Could you respond that you are the designated driver and your partner is the designated drinker? Or get club soda on the rocks with a wedge of lime. Looks like a real drink.

[Anonymous]

Just tell people you are on a medication that affects liver function so you can't drink.

[Anonymous]

You can simply say you've got a health issue going on and your doctor has advised you not to drink. If anyone pries further, pause for a second then say that you'd rather not get into it. Then change the subject.

[Anonymous]

I spent a holiday party sucking back cranberry and sprite and people though I was drinking vodka.

[Anonymous]

I so can't stand that people put so much pressure around this! My mom is a horrible, abusive alcoholic and for the 14 years of my professional life before I got pg last April, I had to deal with ppl thinking I was pregnant and hiding it. They didn't believe most of my responses...and my husband doesn't drink for health reasons and he gets the same peer pressure even after he says "health reasons".

Some people just don't like to drink too - I wish that we as a society could learn that one.

Sorry for the rant, I just hate this about people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I so can't stand that people put so much pressure around this! My mom is a horrible, abusive alcoholic and for the 14 years of my professional life before I got pg last April, I had to deal with ppl thinking I was pregnant and hiding it. They didn't believe most of my responses...and my husband doesn't drink for health reasons and he gets the same peer pressure even after he says "health reasons".

Some people just don't like to drink too - I wish that we as a society could learn that one.

Sorry for the rant, I just hate this about people.

I was just about to post this same rant, so no need to apologize. I HATE it when people assume I'm pregnant because I'm not drinking. Why is it strange for someone to not want a drink? I've come to the decision that other people are actually insecure about home much they do drink, so they have to make excuses about why other people don't. My husband and I are not big drinkers and I get this question all of the time from people that don't know me well. MYOB!!!

[Anonymous]

PP here: Sorry. I just got so into my rant that I forgot to answer your question. Just tell people that you don't want a drink. Simple as that. Who cares what they think. I disagree with the post to carry around a glass of wine and take a few sips.

[Anonymous]

Ditto on the cranberry/club soda. or orange juice / club soda. Looks like a vodka drink. Just have your partner/husband get you one. Or, do the fake wine drinking...get a glass or red wine and hold it. no one is watching how many sips your having. I've done both at firm events and it worked like a charm.

[Anonymous]

From what I can gather, the PP isn't looking to make a "Statement" about not drinking, or to call attention to the fact that she isn't, with "health reasons" or "I don't drink" responses, which then cause MORE attention (especially if she has been known to drink before).

To avoid the inquiries, just get a glass of something and carry it. Whenever I'm at a party and want to take it slow even when not preggo, I would alternate between water or club soda and a glass of wine. Club soda over ice looks like a mixed drink.

Keep it simple.

[Anonymous]

Things I did:

1. Get a glass of something, dont drink it
2. Say you have a sinus infection
3. Say you are coming down with a cold
4. Say you are feeling dehydrated, and you are drinking water before you get a glass of wine (then never get the wine)
5. Say you took a muscle relaxant/pain killer because you pulled your back so you cant drink
6. Get a glass of something that looks like a drink (if there is a full bar), like tonic & lime, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP here: Sorry. I just got so into my rant that I forgot to answer your question. Just tell people that you don't want a drink. Simple as that. Who cares what they think. I disagree with the post to carry around a glass of wine and take a few sips.

Why? Because a few sips will hurt the baby? Neurotic a little?

[Anonymous]

Oh, I always said that I was on a crazy diet and then went into detail about some bullshit body flush that all the celebrities are doing and the proceed to tell everyone has many calories are in each of their drinks. Clears the crowd tout suite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP here: Sorry. I just got so into my rant that I forgot to answer your question. Just tell people that you don't want a drink. Simple as that. Who cares what they think. I disagree with the post to carry around a glass of wine and take a few sips.

Why? Because a few sips will hurt the baby? Neurotic a little?

I am not the pp, but I interpreted her comments differently and not neurotic at all. I read her to say that carrying around a glass of wine that you're not drinking -- and OP was clear that she's not going to -- is in some sense lying and there's no reason to lie about not drinking. OP doesn't want to drink, so what? Why should anyone care?

OP -- lots of good suggestions here. Congrats on your pregnancy and good luck.