When you turn down a school, do you tell the truth or make up an excuse?

[Anonymous]

Our kids are at a small private school and when a family turns down a spot the admissions staff really does want to know the real reason. If there is a problem with how a school employee has treated a perspective family (being rude) then we need to know so we can fix the problem.

[Anonymous]

We turned down a school politely but with a very short email and the AD wrote us back wanting to know more about why...

[Anonymous]

Why are you worried about this now? You are likely not to get in to most places you apply, so the decision will be made for you. Live and learn, and chill out.

[Anonymous]

they could be concerned "now" because they already applied and through the process have decided they don't want their child to attend....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:they could be concerned "now" because they already applied and through the process have decided they don't want their child to attend....

WHy not be proactive then and withdraw the application?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:they could be concerned "now" because they already applied and through the process have decided they don't want their child to attend....

Or they could just be smart people who are thinking ahead.

Here's my wisdom after going through this process three times: you should apply to all the schools you and your child like. Gather as much info as you can about the schools BEFORE admissions letters are sent. If, at the end of your research, you decide that there's no way you would enroll your child at a certain school - even if it were the only school to which your child was admitted- then withdraw that application. But don't shoot yourself in the foot by withdrawing apps for schools you aren't completely sure about, or you may end up with no school.

Rank the schools to which you've applied so you are ready to decide quickly when the letters arrive. If, when the letters arrive, you have more than one choice, politely decline the schools you don't want by citing "the right fit" or some similarly vague ( and hackneyed) phrase. But do this quickly and politely, by phone or email. The admissions officers have a wait list of kids eager to attend their school, and they don't want to get your letter five days later by snail mail.

And do NOT burn bridges. You may discover that the first-choice school in which you enrolled you child doesn't turn out to be such a great place for your kid after all, and that school you turned down two years ago might be the perfect place.