Should a man reveal his income in a dating profile?

[Anonymous]

No. I am just starting to explore those sites and the salary questions, among others, are a turn off, not to mention silly since there is no way to verify.

Let me know if you want to meet for coffee OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Male here. As someone who is private about money, I really feel like putting it on the profile is not only flaunting it but also will attract women for the wrong reasons. The income is around 200K/year -- which I have no problem admitting here since it's anonymous. Anyway, what I have done instead is to mention a couple things in my profile such as being a small business owner, which can be derived by women as meaning I likely have decent income.

But I wonder if I am missing out on some women who are not gold diggers but are looking for a stable financial partner who can makes enough to support the family should she wish to stay home with the kids, etc. I also wonder if I miss out on women in a similar income bracket who is looking for someone else in that bracket as it suggest similar personality traits and career aspirations.

What is your reaction when seeing income listed? Should I list it? How many other men list it? I never look at other men's profiles.

Yes. I try to respond to guys on the same page family wise, academically, and financially. $ for me can be a little less, equal, or more. A drastic difference with him under tends to fail.

+1 I'm a female who earns about 200K, and dating someone with drastically less income inevitably failed. When I was dating, I looked for guys who earned at least 100K

[Anonymous]

Male here. I agree with the poster who said put it down as $100k-$150k. That signifies that you can take care of yourself and are upper-middle class (everywhere except DCUM, where you are below poverty level). But it's not enough that someone is going to go after you for your money, becuase $105 doesn't support a fancy lifestyle for 2.

[Anonymous]

financially stable is good as a proxy and education level is even better. Women who place a high priority on this aren't women you want anyway. It is tacky and it is shallow - no matter whether they earn as much, more or less themselves. Class differences are much much harder to overcome in relationships, and educational background is a far better proxy for that (there are plenty of rich yokels and poor PhDs).

[Anonymous]

"+1 I'm a female who earns about 200K, and dating someone with drastically less income inevitably failed. When I was dating, I looked for guys who earned at least 100K"

+2. And I screen based on this - there has to be some indication that income is close to six figures. And I disagree with PP that class/education are more important. They are also important, but in my experience, as a high-earning woman, a huge income differential impacts a relationship. I don't want someone to support me, but I want someone who can travel as I can and otherwise has a similar lifestyle.

Match does 100K+, so that is vague enough. Or, you can say something like "I'm very fortunate that my business allows me to do ___/travel/enjoy life," which comes across as humble if you phrase it right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"+1 I'm a female who earns about 200K, and dating someone with drastically less income inevitably failed. When I was dating, I looked for guys who earned at least 100K"

+2. And I screen based on this - there has to be some indication that income is close to six figures. And I disagree with PP that class/education are more important. They are also important, but in my experience, as a high-earning woman, a huge income differential impacts a relationship. I don't want someone to support me, but I want someone who can travel as I can and otherwise has a similar lifestyle.

Match does 100K+, so that is vague enough. Or, you can say something like "I'm very fortunate that my business allows me to do ___/travel/enjoy life," which comes across as humble if you phrase it right.

+3 It makes your pool bigger. I doubt a woman is going to just dismiss you because you posted your income if everything else about your profile is great.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"They are also important, but in my experience, as a high-earning woman, a huge income differential impacts a relationship.

I'm the PP you're disagreeing with.

How so? I'm genuinely curious? Historically men have typically been the big(ger) earner, often with dramatic income differentials and supposedly that works ok. What is the inherent problem with men being the low-income partner from your perspective? Say, the Art History PhD who gets less than $100k for his work at the Smithsonian.

In my own experience, I made 2x what my ex-wife did - in fact, I still support her somewhat. On the other hand, my new wife makes more than 2x what I do. We do share expenses to some degree, but she definitely carries a little more of the load, given that she's got more to spend.

Anonymous wrote:I don't want someone to support me, but I want someone who can travel as I can and otherwise has a similar lifestyle.

What'sa matter? You can't share or pick up a bit of the tab? You know, that's part of 'liberation'. Or do you insist on going dutch when it's your money?

My wife has a friend - a transplant surgeon - who can never find a guy to date because she is so unwilling to date anyone who makes less....your attitude reminds me of her...as it does of another female friend who is 6'2" and insists on only dating men who are taller than her when she's wearing her heels. Both are wonderful gals but very unhappy and it is of their own making.

I stand by my earlier recommendation: a man is better off without a woman who is interested in just the $$ number - doubly so if she has enough of her own $$ to ensure that she lives a nice lifestyle even without his $$. Figuring out if a guy is financially stable - that is, sensible, responsible, able to take care of himself - is certainly very very important, particularly if you'll ever mingle your finances legally (getting married), but the rest is just a shallow arbitrary number.

For the record: I know at least three couples where the income and education levels are dramatically different - with the woman as the high-income, high-degree partner - which work incredibly well...one of the guys is a SAHD; the other is a former marine who markets craftbrews. Wives are >$500k/yr doctors.

[Anonymous]

Heh...it's me, the PP again - you know, I kind of skimmed over your allusion to making $200k...yeah, I would <i>definitely</i> be glad to avoid you. I am in that range, and my wife is 3x where you are.

Gold Digger.