TTC and can't have sex

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:it's not mental. it a lot to ask a guy to perform every night!

I disagree. I don't see how it's a big deal. Most men can have sex whenever, so no, I kind of eye roll at the poor baby I feel bad for him thing. Man up a little.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, should have clarified: he is insanely busy with work this week and his phone has been attached to him. He had it on vibrate, but he kept hearing it buzz when emails came in while we were trying, and I think he blamed that on not be able to concentrate. He took his frustration out on the phone and said "that is never going to be in the room again during ___"...I think the stress level of work, lack of sleep from working late/getting up early, and after a week of trying is just getting to him.

There's your problem. Too much work and can't let go!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think that this happens to lots of people. We have been experiencing the same thing, it isn't fun for either of us. Sex has become a chore and we just took a month off from trying, now it's back and it's great. Make sure that you still participate in foreplay and lots of kissing and cuddling, it really does make a difference. GL

You're too focused on career/work and selflessly can't think of anything else because of your fear of failure.

[Anonymous]

Its common. My husband rarely maintains an erection and can finish the act. I'm trying to make it less stressful for him, but it is discouraging to me that he can really only take care of matters 'on his own'. I'm sympathetic though because of his stressful job.

[Anonymous]

PP - it's tough when your husband can't stay focused enough to finish. Believe me I know. Not much of a self-esteem boost either when he requires porn to come.

[Anonymous]

If he can't take 20 minutes from his phone for sex what exactly is having a kid going to be like with this man? Serious question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Its common. My husband rarely maintains an erection and can finish the act. I'm trying to make it less stressful for him, but it is discouraging to me that he can really only take care of matters 'on his own'. I'm sympathetic though because of his stressful job.

Again, I say man up. Job stress or not

[Anonymous]

In the same boat as OP. We are fine the first 2 nights, but DH putters out on night 3. Any suggestions??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If it's performance anxiety I'm not sure IUIs are the way to go. Since then he has to do his business into a sterile cup in a random room at the clinic. It's not romantic or nice.

I'd say talk to him about it outside the bedroom. Have a glass or two of wine and just rip the band aid off what's going on there. Does he have reservations about having kids? Is he scared of something? Give him a safe place to share with you and see what he says. Will he see a doctor if this persists? That's an important one.

It sounds totally mental though, so tend to his mind!

But with an IUI, there is no reason you couldn’t make it a more intimate and personal experience by accompanying him in the room at the clinic. Most husbands would welcome that sort of support while they are “doing their part” for conception, even if it ultimately ends up into a sterile specimen cup.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He can masterbate, and you can do the turkey baster. This is actually quite a common problem. If he's on board, you can also go to an RE and do an IUI.
Lots of guys don't like to perform on demand.

You misspelled masturbate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There was a thread on this some time ago. I recommended using the Instead cups. They are normally for your period, but have DH do his thing into the cup, then push the cup in and all the way to the back so it covers your cervix. This wasn't normally an issue but when the opk is positive I hand a cup to DH and he takes one for the team. Good luck!

By the time the OPK is positive you have missed most of your fertile window. You need fertility 101.

You should have sex every day for the 5 days up to and including the day of ovulation. Ovulation happens 12-48 hours after OPK is first positive. You should be testing OPKs at least 2x/day during suspected fertile time for most accurate timing or you might miss a short LH surge.

The sperm-meets-egg advice of having sex only ever other day is based on research of men with sperm issues. Normal, healthy men should have sex every day to maximize chances. Hope this helps.

[Anonymous]

Are you guys dense?

DH goes to doc gets cialis or viagra.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:it's not mental. it a lot to ask a guy to perform every night!

It is not. I have a male friend who can do it 3x in few hours and even the very first try.
The only ones with some serious problem have been special needs men. Specially Aspies. They brain has hard time making the connection at times and often when it's important.
Weird that they don't know why. One said that he should be able to start going after x,y,z? What do he mean? I'm used to men being ready. Hard as rock unless SN.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you guys dense?

DH goes to doc gets cialis or viagra.

100% this. I had the same problem TTC, this fixed it right up and now I have a happy four year old boy.

[Anonymous]

https://tv.getyarn.io/yarn-clip/74334b4f-ad54-4184-998b-e03fe93c6bc2