Would you ask this question of your cousin?

[Anonymous]

OK, well, if the sole reason your family doesn't know is because y'all are too awkward around him to ask him about his life, then yeah, I think you can start asking him about his life.

[Anonymous]

OP it is absolutely none of your business. My goodness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP it is absolutely none of your business. My goodness.

+1

[Anonymous]

Maybe if you're very close to him. Otherwise just assume he is and don't mention it. He may never decide to come out. He's probably scared to.

[Anonymous]

I don't get it. Why is there a reason that you need or want to know about his sex life? Incredibly intrusive and inappropriate. Maybe he's bisexual. Maybe he's asexual. Maybe -- wait for it! -- he doesn't know!

You sound gross to me. I'm glad you are not a member of my family.

[Anonymous]

I would maybe talk to him as if you both know he's gay, but talk about neutral things rather than things specific to him. For example, you could go to the Pride parade in your city and just mention to him that you're going. Or talk about same-sex couples in a positive way. If you get the sense that he wants to tell you, and you're close, you could try to ask, but it sounds like he's private about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would maybe talk to him as if you both know he's gay, but talk about neutral things rather than things specific to him. For example, you could go to the Pride parade in your city and just mention to him that you're going. Or talk about same-sex couples in a positive way. If you get the sense that he wants to tell you, and you're close, you could try to ask, but it sounds like he's private about it.

Oh lord no. If you can't let it go, just ask him. Obnoxiously tip-toeing around it with messages about how chill you are with gay people is even worse.

If you're really okay with it, treat him exactly like you would treat any other member of your family. If you would ask any of your cousins if they are seeing someone, as him if he is seeing someone. If you wouldn't, don't.

It is nice that you feel you are accepting and supportive but how do you expect to support him? Playing wingman at a gay bar? The best way you can help gay people is to actually internalize that there's nothing particularly unusual or odd about being gay, and it doesn't sound like you're there yet.

[Anonymous]

No, do not ask if he's gay. OK to ask if he's dating someone IMO but that's it.

[Anonymous]

OH my Gawd!!! I would start asking everyone you meet about their sexual preference. You will find out soon enough if it is a proper conversation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would maybe talk to him as if you both know he's gay, but talk about neutral things rather than things specific to him. For example, you could go to the Pride parade in your city and just mention to him that you're going. Or talk about same-sex couples in a positive way. If you get the sense that he wants to tell you, and you're close, you could try to ask, but it sounds like he's private about it.

This is the absolutely wrong thing to do whether he's gay or not.

I've known guys whom others assume are gay, and boy is it a shock when they get introduced to the girlfriend. Men can be effeminate and straight, macho and gay. He may date and just doesn't talk about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would maybe talk to him as if you both know he's gay, but talk about neutral things rather than things specific to him. For example, you could go to the Pride parade in your city and just mention to him that you're going. Or talk about same-sex couples in a positive way. If you get the sense that he wants to tell you, and you're close, you could try to ask, but it sounds like he's private about it.

This is the absolutely wrong thing to do whether he's gay or not.

I've known guys whom others assume are gay, and boy is it a shock when they get introduced to the girlfriend. Men can be effeminate and straight, macho and gay. He may date and just doesn't talk about it.

He could also be transgender. If he was gay/transgender and felt comfortable coming out to the family, he would have.

This sounds more about you than him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would maybe talk to him as if you both know he's gay, but talk about neutral things rather than things specific to him. For example, you could go to the Pride parade in your city and just mention to him that you're going. Or talk about same-sex couples in a positive way. If you get the sense that he wants to tell you, and you're close, you could try to ask, but it sounds like he's private about it.

Aw-kward! Don't do this.

Honesty, I would ask directly, but I am known for my bluntness and people expect such things from me.