Holidays suck

[Anonymous]

Your post brought up bad memories of mine too. My dd was about 4 and was sitting at the kitchen table being a bit goofy when her cousins who were all in their 20's started making fun of her. I mean not in a nice way. I was so flabbergasted that I didn't say anything at the time. Now we are seeing those same horrible people for Christmas because they are the sons and daughters of my SIL. I don't mind seeing SIL, but I wish she wouldn't invite her kids over because I don't want to see those people. This year, I am going to be on guard and wisk dd away if they are mean to her again.

[Anonymous]

Yes, that is not nice at all esp for young adults. I would def say something this time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your post brought up bad memories of mine too. My dd was about 4 and was sitting at the kitchen table being a bit goofy when her cousins who were all in their 20's started making fun of her. I mean not in a nice way. I was so flabbergasted that I didn't say anything at the time. Now we are seeing those same horrible people for Christmas because they are the sons and daughters of my SIL. I don't mind seeing SIL, but I wish she wouldn't invite her kids over because I don't want to see those people. This year, I am going to be on guard and wisk dd away if they are mean to her again.

Why whisk DD away? This sends her the message that she has done something wrong. I think you need to be a bit more of a Mama Bear. "Kids" in their 20's should not be behaving this way. They are not kids at all. I would go ballistic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your post brought up bad memories of mine too. My dd was about 4 and was sitting at the kitchen table being a bit goofy when her cousins who were all in their 20's started making fun of her. I mean not in a nice way. I was so flabbergasted that I didn't say anything at the time. Now we are seeing those same horrible people for Christmas because they are the sons and daughters of my SIL. I don't mind seeing SIL, but I wish she wouldn't invite her kids over because I don't want to see those people. This year, I am going to be on guard and wisk dd away if they are mean to her again.

Why whisk DD away? This sends her the message that she has done something wrong. I think you need to be a bit more of a Mama Bear. "Kids" in their 20's should not be behaving this way. They are not kids at all. I would go ballistic.

Yes, I keep trying to figure out what exactly to do. Perhaps the direct approach of saying, I don't like the way you are speaking to dd would be best. I am a non-confrontational person, and I have to handle it because my dh could get mad and and that would not be good.

[Anonymous]

OP, very sorry your family sucks. We have been lucky that our immediate family (grandparents) are extremely supportive. But come aunts and uncles, cousins, and we are doomed. I haven't had any extended family reunions with my cousins, whom I used to be very close to before the diagnosis of my DC, for 5 years now. They have repeatedly questioned his diagnosis (Aspergers'), called us bad parents, called him "a spoiled brat" to his face, so I avoid them. My grandparents are still alive and they are upset that we no longer communicate after several really bad incidents. This Thanksgiving we opted to go on a cruise with ILs and had a blast. They may be too conservative, too religious, etc., I may not agree with their political views, but they love our DC unconditionally and don't separate him and their our grandkids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, very sorry your family sucks. We have been lucky that our immediate family (grandparents) are extremely supportive. But come aunts and uncles, cousins, and we are doomed. I haven't had any extended family reunions with my cousins, whom I used to be very close to before the diagnosis of my DC, for 5 years now. They have repeatedly questioned his diagnosis (Aspergers'), called us bad parents, called him "a spoiled brat" to his face, so I avoid them. My grandparents are still alive and they are upset that we no longer communicate after several really bad incidents. This Thanksgiving we opted to go on a cruise with ILs and had a blast. They may be too conservative, too religious, etc., I may not agree with their political views, but they love our DC unconditionally and don't separate him and their our grandkids.

Awwww! This made my day.

[Anonymous]

I too am sorry you have to deal with this OP. The isolation makes it harder. I've done the same. I can't stand to be around parents who are nice to me but they and their children treat my sn son like he has cooties. My kids used to play with many of the kids in our neighborhood but as my sn son has gotten older, the bullying increased and the parents didn't care. There are many parents in my neighborhood who look down on my son and act as if he isn't there.

Maybe some groups like arc or social groups like instep would help. At the least, you get to meet more parents living through the same.

[Anonymous]

Yes, it stinks across the board. Why do people have to act like that? Don't people know what goes around comes around. One day they will get there's and it might not be the same type of thing but it will come back to them. I just don't get it. These are children, innocent children with disabilities. It's just not right. I guess it's just life but really it sound sad to hear all these stories. Sad for the ignorant jerks who can't find it in them to be nice to an innocent child. really really irks me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, very sorry your family sucks. We have been lucky that our immediate family (grandparents) are extremely supportive. But come aunts and uncles, cousins, and we are doomed. I haven't had any extended family reunions with my cousins, whom I used to be very close to before the diagnosis of my DC, for 5 years now. They have repeatedly questioned his diagnosis (Aspergers'), called us bad parents, called him "a spoiled brat" to his face, so I avoid them. My grandparents are still alive and they are upset that we no longer communicate after several really bad incidents. This Thanksgiving we opted to go on a cruise with ILs and had a blast. They may be too conservative, too religious, etc., I may not agree with their political views, but they love our DC unconditionally and don't separate him and their our grandkids.

Similar experience here. Branch of our family that is conservative, more working lower SES is totally accepting of our child, would do anything to make sure we visit and have fun. Now the really high flying rich branch of the family -- their kids are rude, rude, rude all the way and the parents just stand by. You can't buy real class.