I destroyed our family's Thanksgiving this year

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you sound a tad bit overdramatic yoursellf. Chill. Get over whatever you've got and book a trip for next Thanksgiving if it's such a headache to have a few people for dinner.

Not OP, but have to say I doubt OP finds this helpful. I agree she is being way too hard on herself, but calling her a drama queen goes over the line into being judgmental and critical. You don't know her family. You don't know how ridiculous her MIL can be. plus, when people are sick it is harder to think clearly, especially with a fever. If you cannot show empathy, then don't post.

Sorry, that's not the way it works. Empathy's great, and I practice it often and I'm often quite critical of folks on this board who are unnecessarily cruel. But you don't get to decide how someone responds to an anonymous post on a mostly-anonymous board. Heck, this post wasn't even that mean! This is NOTHING for this board!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you sound a tad bit overdramatic yoursellf. Chill. Get over whatever you've got and book a trip for next Thanksgiving if it's such a headache to have a few people for dinner.

Not OP, but have to say I doubt OP finds this helpful. I agree she is being way too hard on herself, but calling her a drama queen goes over the line into being judgmental and critical. You don't know her family. You don't know how ridiculous her MIL can be. plus, when people are sick it is harder to think clearly, especially with a fever. If you cannot show empathy, then don't post.

Sorry, that's not the way it works. Empathy's great, and I practice it often and I'm often quite critical of folks on this board who are unnecessarily cruel. But you don't get to decide how someone responds to an anonymous post on a mostly-anonymous board. Heck, this post wasn't even that mean! This is NOTHING for this board!!

Well, neither do you. Just like you're allowed to be critical of OP's post, people are allowed to be critical of yours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here: MIL is going to be pissed off. I believe she had been bragging about this dinner to her family-less friends for weeks.

This is going to go down as the Thanksgiving that DIL got everyone sick, almost made SIL miscarry, and eventually destroyed. That's just the way she is. Well, I don't give a hoot. As DH said, the only way to have as much control over a party you are looking forward to that much is to...THROW IT YOURSELF. Which she never does. I don't know why. I mean, if you can't cook, you can cater.

I don't even know how I got roped into this. I honestly have no recollection of the moment when we decided that we would host this year again. I think, like in years past, MIL slyly planted the idea in my head. I'm such a schmuck.

OP, the bolded above is a delicious little tidbit! Clearly, it's not your fault. You were just the vehicle karma used to teach your MIL not to be such a cruel bitch who kicks people (friends, no less!) when they're down. Give yourself up to the universe and revel in the fact that you've had a hand in seeing justice done!

THIS. How cruel to brag to friends who don't have family. Makes me sad to think about it.

As you know, people get sick and it's not your fault. Make reservations now and if you are still really sick Thursday, your husband can take the kids and some other family to dinner and bring some back for you. Can you re-freeze turkey? If so, just make it when you feel better.
Your DH sounds like a prince, BTW. You have a lot to be grateful for! Now call some great restaurant and order Thanksgiving dinner for your immediate family and tell everyone else that you're quarantined for the next week.

Well, if her dh *wants* to do that, sure. But honestly people will survive if they don't get together one year. It really is o.k.

When I was in my 20's and my dad was very sick there were years that mom & dad had a quiet, low key celebration all to themselves which was very appropriate at the time. My other family members were elsewhere and I celebrated with good friends and/or my boyfriend. It was a different sort of celebration but it was still fun. No need to feel massive guilt for missing a year - it is o.k.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you sound a tad bit overdramatic yoursellf. Chill. Get over whatever you've got and book a trip for next Thanksgiving if it's such a headache to have a few people for dinner.

Not OP, but have to say I doubt OP finds this helpful. I agree she is being way too hard on herself, but calling her a drama queen goes over the line into being judgmental and critical. You don't know her family. You don't know how ridiculous her MIL can be. plus, when people are sick it is harder to think clearly, especially with a fever. If you cannot show empathy, then don't post.

NP here. Agree she's being drama queen. She got empathy and she came back with more drama, not "yeah, being sick isn't my fault..." She lost my empathy after her dramatic second posting. Actually sounds trolling to me.

[Anonymous]

You need to ask anyone who is coming to commit to a dish. Have your husband mash potatoes and get your kid to snap some green beans. MIL can do dessert. No sense in bring a martyr unless you enjoy it.

[Anonymous]

Can you get groceries delivered?

Here's what I recommend:

Turkey
Mashed Potatoes - easy, right?
Sweet potatoes from a can or frozen + oj + brown sugar
roasted veggies, already washed and cut from the produce section : peppers, cauliflower b sprouts, etc...
prepared cranberry relish
prepared gravy
prepared stuffing
prepared rolls

If you have $, just go to Whole Foods with DH or an older kid, spend gobs of $ for prepared stuff, and call it a day.
Take off Wednesday because "you're still feeling bad."
If it means that much to you, you can do it. You can! You'll be fine.

[Anonymous]

I would just go to whole foods or wherever and buy my favorite sides (they have really good stuffing, the only kind I like!) and call it good. Throw that bird in the oven and enjoy.

[Anonymous]

Was it the flu? If you didn't get the flu shot then you probably did almost kill your MIL with pneumonia and this is all your fault.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Was it the flu? If you didn't get the flu shot then you probably did almost kill your MIL with pneumonia and this is all your fault.

Talk about dramatic.

[Anonymous]

Why would she be pissed at you? She has pneumonia. You don't have that. Your whole family sounds like a mess except your SIL and Mom.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, OP. None of it is your fault and I wish you and all your family to get better ASAP.

Believe me, I would like nothing better than to lounge all day in my PJs watching the dog show on TV and eating catered Thanksgiving dinner (or pizza, or anything I haven't made myself).

But no, I have to attend someone else's T feast where there will be all this family drama and dashed expectations, plus I have to bring 2 dishes I have never made. Not looking forward to it. Oh yes, and they have this horrid dog as big as a calf that jumps on people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Order a pizza. Get better. It's just another dinner.

or chinese food
or indian food
or grill hotdogs
take the time to recuperate -- and be thankful you are getting better
it's about the thanks-giving
NOT the meal
makes for a great family story down the line

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Was it the flu? If you didn't get the flu shot then you probably did almost kill your MIL with pneumonia and this is all your fault.

I have gotten the flu shot every year for 20 years and two years I got nasty stains of the flu that put me in bed for a week.

[Anonymous]

I'll cheerfully be eating Indian takeout on Thanksgiving, and feeling super happy I won't be in an airport, or with my insane parents, or standing for hours in the kitchen. I'm pregnant and my toddler is nuts, so we just decided to celebrate thanksgiving by being thankful we can do whatever we want and are beholden to no one. It's going to be the best thanksgiving ever!

[Anonymous]

My family had a bad stomach virus one year for Christmas. It happens.