ok cupid?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That site has the rep of being for casual hookups, not serious relationships.

This is what I understood as well. I always thought the more serious/quality people ponied up the money for a service. Met my DH on match.

[Anonymous]

i see lost of the same people on match and occupied actually. maybe they are not paying for match anymore but just left profiles there...

[Anonymous]

Match is mostly for hookups and one night stands.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Match is mostly for hookups and one night stands.

these are big generalizations. just ended a six month relationship i had with someone i met on match. weeded through a lot but i don't think everyone on there is looking for hookups.

suppose it's just luck if you manage the find someone who wants what you want.

[Anonymous]

You guys are old. Tinder is the new hook up and one night stands.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sister used all three and she said she liked okcupid the most. She said she found a lot of overly religious freaks on eharmony and she got a ton of gross messages on match.

This was my experience as well. I got great results on OKC; it only took three first dates before I met DH! Although you do have to weed through a bunch of inadequate profiles and the more questions you answer the better your results will be (I had answered almost 1500 - no sexual ones - by the time I began dating).

Does it really help to answer questions? Some are hard to say yes or no to. Answered a few of the sex ones but kept answers private. Most I skipped. Great to hear it only took three dates!

I found it helped a lot.

Certainly the majority of questions require more nuanced answers than your multiple choice options provide, but they provide a space for you to explain or expand upon your answer below; I found reading the comments people had written was the best way to find men who matched not only my values but my way of thinking (or depth of thought). Anyone who's taken the time to answer and explain a lot of them (100+?) is probably looking for something serious and not just a fling.

FWIW all three men I met were looking for something long-term/permanent but the women DH dated before me were far less serious about meeting someone with lifetime potential. If you are, you will really stand out and the men you meet will really appreciate it. The most important thing: Have fun, OP!

[a.chiu]

There are a lot of people who have luck on OKC. It's kind of a middle ground between sites like Match and eHarmony. I've found that most of it is directed towards younger mid-20s people though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Male here,
I've used all three for six months now. My experience: I have met some very nice/beautiful/interesting women through all of them, however I have yet to get past one or two dates without hearing the dreaded 'you're a nice guy but they don't feel any chemistry.' Makes one question whether or not they're truly that uninteresting.

Overall, I'm not sure if its worth keeping the ads.

How old are you?

I'm 36

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Male here,
I've used all three for six months now. My experience: I have met some very nice/beautiful/interesting women through all of them, however I have yet to get past one or two dates without hearing the dreaded 'you're a nice guy but they don't feel any chemistry.' Makes one question whether or not they're truly that uninteresting.

Overall, I'm not sure if its worth keeping the ads.

How old are you?

I'm 36

Maybe it's the women you're going after

[Anonymous]

I met my BF on OKC. Met when I was 40 and he's late 40s. We're both divorced with kids. His profile was awful, but he had clearly read mine and sent a thoughtful email. I've been on several other sites over a period of time -- at least 2 pay sites. Met people on all of them, but after a while, just decided to take a break from the pay sites and since OKC is free, kept my profile up. I've seen guys on multiple sites at the same time -- sometimes the same profile, sometimes not. Be very cautious. I honestly have not noticed a dramatic difference in the quality of guys on any sites. Serious guys and jerks on all of them. Up to you to weed through.

[Anonymous]

What site has 30-35 year old women who arent being messaged 50 times a day?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Male here,
I've used all three for six months now. My experience: I have met some very nice/beautiful/interesting women through all of them, however I have yet to get past one or two dates without hearing the dreaded 'you're a nice guy but they don't feel any chemistry.' Makes one question whether or not they're truly that uninteresting.

Overall, I'm not sure if its worth keeping the ads.

Sounds like youre beta. Youre not inspiring gut attraction in these women. Are similar things happening to you from non-onlne dating?

[Anonymous]

You want the women being messaged 30-35 times a day. Thing is, those women want a guy who will stand out, not search for a site where they "stand a better chance." Up your game and one of these women will take notice. The question is coming from a place of negativity and insecurity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Male here,
I've used all three for six months now. My experience: I have met some very nice/beautiful/interesting women through all of them, however I have yet to get past one or two dates without hearing the dreaded 'you're a nice guy but they don't feel any chemistry.' Makes one question whether or not they're truly that uninteresting.

Overall, I'm not sure if its worth keeping the ads.

Sounds like youre beta. Youre not inspiring gut attraction in these women. Are similar things happening to you from non-onlne dating?

NP here.

Sounds like you, PP, are a dude. And beyond that, a dude (not a man) who doesn't understand that many women are turned off by "alpha" behavior and that "beta" men are far more likely to be happily married in stable partnerships.

And to the original PP - I posted earlier saying it only took me a few dates to meet my now-DH, but he dated 26 women before me. His assessment was that the trick to being successful was to not go into any dates with ANY expectations at all, almost to the point of not caring (but not quite). You want to come across as self-assured, confident, and not really concerned whether you get a second date (or third date) at all, like you're just out here meeting women because you enjoy it, not because you NEED a relationship/girlfriend/wife. Flipping that mental switch might be all it takes for your dates to start going further. (Also, of course, it could be the women you're dating, but we have no way of analyzing that.)

[Anonymous]

yes the mental switch ! I'm all about no expectations, but he switched it so we will see what happens