Parents are not always honest about their kids' accomplishments.

[Anonymous]

Or exaggerating, for that matter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh, and my child doesn't really swim. She takes lessons. Right now she can sort of propel herself independently for 10 feet. That's not swimming in my book, and it doesn't make any difference.

How's her dancing? Is she Nutcracker-ready?

[Anonymous]

Maybe it's wishful thinking. Parents really want to believe their kids our special (I know I do), and maybe if parents repeat it enough it will be true. Or at least we will convince ourselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It all starts with "My child was sleeping through the night at __ weeks" - Really? You must be a great parent.

Why do we all have to be sensitive? My kids didn't sleep through the night until they were well over 3 (and they still don't always), so these statements always make me wince, but I don't take them as bragging in the absence of further evidence that the poster is trying to say that it's a result of his/her great parenting. When I read about kids who who were reading when they were 2, sure I have that moment of, "why didn't my kid do that?" but if the statement is relevant--e.g., if the poster is providing context for her views in response to a question about GT education--I don't take it as bragging. Not all good news about other kids is bragging!

You are probably a more or less secure person! Some people... maybe.. not so much. (And I don't mean that in a mean way....)

[Anonymous]

I do get a little tired of the agonizers. As in "Oh I must find the perfect school for little Johnny/Janey so his/her every potentiality is realized without of course leaving out any art, music, gym and without pressuring him/her too much because Johnny/Janey is soooo friggin' bright."

And it must be walkable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do get a little tired of the agonizers. As in "Oh I must find the perfect school for little Johnny/Janey so his/her every potentiality is realized without of course leaving out any art, music, gym and without pressuring him/her too much because Johnny/Janey is soooo friggin' bright."

And it must be walkable.

I find this post kind of mean-spirited (unintentional, I'm sure; I am not impugning your character.) What you derisively term "agonizers" others might call concerned parenting. Who wouldn't want to find the best fir for their child, school-wise? And why is it a terrible thing to want a suitable school that also includes art, music, gym, etc.? I don't understand the vitriol. Speaking only for myself, I confess 100% to agonizing (not on this list, as it happens, but in real life).

[Anonymous]

I'm not the referenced poster, but I think there is a difference between wanting the best school for your child and fretting about it (normal) and going on and on about how your extraordinarily intelligent, athletic, superior child just has to find the perfect school so that it challenges him/her effectively (obnoxious).

Luckily, I don't know too many people that fall into the latter camp. All my friends w/kids are very humble about them (despite some of the kids truly being gifted IMO). Now, my SIL, that is another story altogether.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do get a little tired of the agonizers. As in "Oh I must find the perfect school for little Johnny/Janey so his/her every potentiality is realized without of course leaving out any art, music, gym and without pressuring him/her too much because Johnny/Janey is soooo friggin' bright."

And it must be walkable.

Ooh! Could you please post the name of this school? I especially like the "walkable" part. Thanks!

[Anonymous]

I agree with the PP - that parents of truly gifted kids don't brag . . . similar to "real" millionaires who live in post-WWII homes in Kensington and who drive Jettas

The parents who brag are insecure use their children as a status builder. Being truly gifted is difficult. These children are YEARS ahead of their peers academically, but are at the same level emotionally and physically. Imagine not being able to connect with other kids? not being able to make lasting friendships? being the outcast among peers? What parent wants to experience that with his/her child?

Parents of the truly gifted do not feel the need to place them on stage b/c they know that daily living is hard enough. So they try to make their children's lives as normal as possible. again - the millionaire example: Why would a wealthy person open up his/her finances to the public? to have every person crawl out of the woodwork begging for a handout?

In this day and age of testing, I have a difficult time believing that the results of these IQ tests actually measure the genius level of a child. Consider how many kids on these boards are in the 99th percentile! Really? They're all THAT smart? Sometimes I think that people pay to hear what they want to hear. What educational consultant isn't going to bend over backward to ensure that your "gifted" child is seen as such if you're handing over a big, fat check?

Come on - reality check, people! Have a super genius for a child is just as difficult and emotionally draining as having a child with learning issues.

[Anonymous]

"Have a super genius for a child is just as difficult and emotionally draining as having a child with learning issues. "

I meant HAVING

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the PP - that parents of truly gifted kids don't brag . . . similar to "real" millionaires who live in post-WWII homes in Kensington and who drive Jettas

The parents who brag are insecure use their children as a status builder. Being truly gifted is difficult. These children are YEARS ahead of their peers academically, but are at the same level emotionally and physically. Imagine not being able to connect with other kids? not being able to make lasting friendships? being the outcast among peers? What parent wants to experience that with his/her child?

Parents of the truly gifted do not feel the need to place them on stage b/c they know that daily living is hard enough. So they try to make their children's lives as normal as possible. again - the millionaire example: Why would a wealthy person open up his/her finances to the public? to have every person crawl out of the woodwork begging for a handout?

In this day and age of testing, I have a difficult time believing that the results of these IQ tests actually measure the genius level of a child. Consider how many kids on these boards are in the 99th percentile! Really? They're all THAT smart? Sometimes I think that people pay to hear what they want to hear. What educational consultant isn't going to bend over backward to ensure that your "gifted" child is seen as such if you're handing over a big, fat check?

Come on - reality check, people! Have a super genius for a child is just as difficult and emotionally draining as having a child with learning issues.

I have to agree with your comment about the tests. I am a bit suspicious of this 99%ile thing. If you make your money doing WPPSI tests, and you need referrals, you make your clients happy. Fudge the 96%ile scores to 99%ile, and make them happy. The real test would be an objective tester like for research through a university.

[Anonymous]

I was one person who was intimidated by these "already reading" at 5 kids. To me it seemed that my dd was struggling to sound out the words. I was worried when she went off to K at one of the better (MC) schools mentioned on these threads. The next thing I hear is that she was placed in a reading group. I intentionally did not ask what level her group was, but I recently found out that she is in the second highest reading group out of 5 groups. That is a perspective on the bragging, it made me actually start to think my little one would need some kind of special ed., when she was just fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do get a little tired of the agonizers. As in "Oh I must find the perfect school for little Johnny/Janey so his/her every potentiality is realized without of course leaving out any art, music, gym and without pressuring him/her too much because Johnny/Janey is soooo friggin' bright."

And it must be walkable.

I find this post kind of mean-spirited (unintentional, I'm sure; I am not impugning your character.) What you derisively term "agonizers" others might call concerned parenting. Who wouldn't want to find the best fir for their child, school-wise? And why is it a terrible thing to want a suitable school that also includes art, music, gym, etc.? I don't understand the vitriol. Speaking only for myself, I confess 100% to agonizing (not on this list, as it happens, but in real life).

I'm the pp -- Sorry, I should have stated that I don't have a problem with people wanting the best school for their kids -- I have a problem with a) people going on and on about having to find a perfect fit for their child and b) not accepting that dc will probably be okay in any of a number of schools. Concerned parenting and finding the right school is important but so is confident parenting -- it's important for our kids to learn that even when we can't control everything, there's a good chance we will still be okay.

[Anonymous]

This 99th percentile "test" - Is it norm referenced? If so, the tests are comparing students to each other.

For example, let's look at baby weights. Weights are collected over time. My child, at 6 months, was in the 30th percentile for weight b/c he weighed only 16 pounds. He was being compared to children - rather large ones, I might add, who weighed much more than he did and were in the 100th percentile. So he fell far below. Does that make him a "loser" by weight standards? Perhaps . . . but I'd rather have a child who won't be obese - or 40 lbs. by the time he's 3 years old.

The same goes for these "IQ" tests that are norm referenced. If a wide range of kids are tested (don't know who these kids are), they are being compared to each other. Now, amazingly, according to the posts on these boards, there are TONS of children who are incredibly gifted and who fall w/in the 99th percentile!

But if norming IS the case, what is the knowledge base that these kids possess? Could it be that the sampling used for norming consists of kids who are not THAT bright, thereby making it easier and easier to hit that 99th percentile?

You know who's bright? the testing/educational consultants laughing as they take your money and feed you what you want to hear!

[Anonymous]

But if norming IS the case, what is the knowledge base that these kids possess? Could it be that the sampling used for norming consists of kids who are not THAT bright, thereby making it easier and easier to hit that 99th percentile?

the sampling used is enormous for this test. Same for the height/weight charts you cited. so the number you get from each is in fact an accurate comparison of one child relative to thousands and thousands of children, assuming correct testing conditions, at the time the test is given.

Someone earlier said that there are so many 99s in DC, and in NYC, because of the type of people who move here and eventually reproduce. But not just the offspring of surgeons take this test -- it's administered to all sorts of kids nationwide for all sorts of reasons in addition to school admissions. I for one am comfortable believing there really ARE a lot of 99 kids in this city, and perhaps fewer in other cities.