Pacifier Addict at age 2

[Anonymous]

OP, I am going through the same difficulty with my 15-month-old. I don't have much good advice, except that I think it could help if you reserve the paci for certain limited times or places. I am giving it to her for sleeping, for now, and will deal with ending that when I can.

Not to beat a dead horse that was beaten in the other recent thread on this topic, but you really have no idea what you're talking about if you think that people are giving their kids pacifiers not to interrupt or to be patient. It is a habit. Maybe it's not the best habit, but it's very comforting to some kids. And many of us allow our kids to continue to use them, with misgivings because we know it's not the best habit. But each of us is in a different situation with a different kid. So, lay off, PPs.

[Anonymous]

At 2 you can start to take it away, put it out of reach, etc. But there needs to be a point in time that it is "lost" or you tell them they won't have it anymore. OP, take heart, if you start to do something else like reading, playing with toys, running around, playing peek a boo or something their minds are distracted and they will forget about it.


I agree with this. My son is 18 months and as one poster called it, a PADDICT!!! But, he is very active now and running around alot and I take it away when he is eating/playing or generally seems happy and the distraction has been key for me. I have been giving it to him more when we are out and it is close to his nap time and he is getting cranky to relax him. It was highly annoying to see that all his pictures have that damn paci in his mouth. When he sees it - he definitely wants it, so I have to start keeping them out of sight except for his crib. The key here is distraction and out of sight. Much luck to us both

[Anonymous]

Certainly not as awful as being a weak mother surrendering to their every whim lest their little angel be upset. Pacifiers are for babies. You should just go cold turkey when they get beyond that point. Children need boundaries, not pandering. As with everything in parenting, taking the "easy" path in the short term = long-term pain.

Wow. Just wow.

I've heard some preachy, self-annointed parenting experts before, but this one takes the cake!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I'm sorry, I have two friends who 3 year olds STILL walk around with their paci in their mouth. I think it is easier on the mothers to put it in their mouth to quiet them down than to address the situation. One of the 3 year olds seems to talk with a lisp, and I wouldn't doubt that was what caused it.

Maybe someone can explain to my why 3 year olds need one? I thought they were to sooth babies....
I so much agree with you. Your right on. Parents that say their kids are addicted, come on. Take it away and stop crossing your fingers. They will be ok.

I am one of the PPs who has an older child who is a "paddict" (great term) and who said that I'm keeping my fingers crossed when we give them up to santa in a few weeks.

To the 10.56 poster: Do you REALLY want an explanation? Or do you really want to stand on a soapbox and chastise the mothers who are too lazy to "address the situation"? It really seems like the latter, but I'll take the bait. In consultation with our dentist, we decided that at this point there was no point in taking away a comfort item from our DS when there was no harm being done. We agreed on the approaching timeline for giving it up. I think it is probably as simple as that for most parents with paddict toddlers.

To the 13.00 poster, let's all repeat together: What works for some parents doesn't work for others. I think I'll go with my own parental instincts and the advice of my dentist. Oh, and it's "you're", not "your"...I'm normally not a stickler for grammar, but since you seem so all-knowing, just thought I'd let you know.

Ok. But why take the chance. Many dentists, maybe not the one your using, suggest taking it away as soon as possible. Let's pretend for a second that it's a 50 percent chance that your child's speech might be affected. Some say take it away, some don't. Why take the chance. It just seems that if you have trouble taking away a pacifier from a 2 year old, saying No to other things later on might be a challenge for you as well. Being on a soapbox would be correcting someone's English, like you did, not give advise different than yours on an annonymous forum.

[Anonymous]

It just seems that if you have trouble taking away a pacifier from a 2 year old, saying No to other things later on might be a challenge for you as well.

That is one hell of a leap in logic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Do you really think that you are helping the OP at all by telling her to just TAKE IT AWAY? Give me a freaking break. By her just taking it away is going to cause the child a lot of anxiety over it.

OP, I would gradually phase out the pacifier use. I know with my son (who will be 2 in a few months) when I see him take it out for some reason, drinking or eating, I will put it up high on a counter or in a cabinet, kind of like out of sight out of mind. He will eventually ask for it a couple hours later but hey....it's a start. I use to let him carry it around with him or keep it in his pocket incase he wanted it, but now I let him "remember" it. Eventually your child will get rid of it on his own. I am going to wait until he is a little older and can reason with me about it rather than scar him and snatch it away. How awful would that be?

"scar him"?!! "How awful would that be?"??!!!

Certainly not as awful as being a weak mother surrendering to their every whim lest their little angel be upset. Pacifiers are for babies. You should just go cold turkey when they get beyond that point. Children need boundaries, not pandering. As with everything in parenting, taking the "easy" path in the short term = long-term pain.

You put into words exactly what I was thinking. I agree with this post 200 percent. Your awesome. Weak parents are in for a rude awakening.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Certainly not as awful as being a weak mother surrendering to their every whim lest their little angel be upset. Pacifiers are for babies. You should just go cold turkey when they get beyond that point. Children need boundaries, not pandering. As with everything in parenting, taking the "easy" path in the short term = long-term pain.

Wow. Just wow.

I've heard some preachy, self-annointed parenting experts before, but this one takes the cake!!

WHOA. I am one of those "pandering" parents...let her DD have a binky until she was almost FIVE. Only at night, no speech or teeth problems, but is was her lovey. We quit, it was awful, but it is all good now. There is nothing wrong with a binky at night...the time will come when it is time to stop, and if that is now, then do it cold turkey. Good luck. Is the above "boundaries" parent for real? I feel like I have read her posts in other threads. She sounds LOVELY. Warm and fuzzy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Certainly not as awful as being a weak mother surrendering to their every whim lest their little angel be upset. Pacifiers are for babies. You should just go cold turkey when they get beyond that point. Children need boundaries, not pandering. As with everything in parenting, taking the "easy" path in the short term = long-term pain.

Wow. Just wow.

I've heard some preachy, self-annointed parenting experts before, but this one takes the cake!!

Sometimes the truth hurts, Sweetcheeks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

WHOA. I am one of those "pandering" parents...let her DD have a binky until she was almost FIVE. Only at night, no speech or teeth problems, but is was her lovey. We quit, it was awful, but it is all good now. There is nothing wrong with a binky at night...the time will come when it is time to stop, and if that is now, then do it cold turkey. Good luck. Is the above "boundaries" parent for real? I feel like I have read her posts in other threads. She sounds LOVELY. Warm and fuzzy.

I don't think there is just one "boundaries" parent. In fact, I would hazard a guess that most (or at least 50%) of parents believe in setting clear boundaries. In general you can identify them through their children, who tend to be polite and well-mannered.

[Anonymous]

You put into words exactly what I was thinking. I agree with this post 200 percent. Your awesome. Weak parents are in for a rude awakening.

Shocking! The two experts on parenting everyone else's children congratulating each other on how brilliant they are!

This is too much. I think I'll get my afternoon cuppa and ask advice on breastfeeding, whether or not to stay at home, and when to start potty training.

[Anonymous]

Geez, to the anti-paci Nazis, I say ease up! Extrapolating use of a paci to overall parenting skills? What a way to generalize.

Some people quit smoking by going cold turkey. Some use the patch, nicorette, etc. Some taper off. Does it make sense that if adults choose different methods for quitting an addictive habit, that maybe kids should have different methods, too?

If you are in the CIO, cold-turkey, suck-it-up-kiddo faction and want your child to have a traumatic short term to kick a habit, then that's your choice. But stop acting so high and mighty about it, when in reality you are choosing a more traumatic path that may be necessary. And cut out the judging. In fact, I'm not a pushover parent, but I would hate to be your kid if this is your attitude about "breaking" habits in your child that you don't like. Do you exhibit such tough love and discipline on yourself for your own bad habits? I doubt it.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes the truth hurts, Sweetcheeks.

What makes you think your "truth" is the only one out there, cupcake?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Certainly not as awful as being a weak mother surrendering to their every whim lest their little angel be upset. Pacifiers are for babies. You should just go cold turkey when they get beyond that point. Children need boundaries, not pandering. As with everything in parenting, taking the "easy" path in the short term = long-term pain.

Wow. Just wow.

I've heard some preachy, self-annointed parenting experts before, but this one takes the cake!!

WHOA. I am one of those "pandering" parents...let her DD have a binky until she was almost FIVE. Only at night, no speech or teeth problems, but is was her lovey. We quit, it was awful, but it is all good now. There is nothing wrong with a binky at night...the time will come when it is time to stop, and if that is now, then do it cold turkey. Good luck. Is the above "boundaries" parent for real? I feel like I have read her posts in other threads. She sounds LOVELY. Warm and fuzzy.

You completely miss the boat on this. You can be nurturing, loving, empathetic, and super with little ones but still set the boundaries needed to explain certain things that the paci takes the place of. Your child was 5. I mean that just seems insane to me. In all that time because she didn't want to give it up, she didn't. They can find comfort in other ways. She never gave it up because it was the only thing she's ever known, and got no guidance to relinquish it.

[Anonymous]

LOL LOL, this thread has gone out of control. ABORT. ABORT. But PP, I agree with you. MY experience was that cold turkey worked best for an older kid, but everyone knows their child best. She was just too rational for anything else, you know?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

WHOA. I am one of those "pandering" parents...let her DD have a binky until she was almost FIVE. Only at night, no speech or teeth problems, but is was her lovey. We quit, it was awful, but it is all good now. There is nothing wrong with a binky at night...the time will come when it is time to stop, and if that is now, then do it cold turkey. Good luck. Is the above "boundaries" parent for real? I feel like I have read her posts in other threads. She sounds LOVELY. Warm and fuzzy.

I don't think there is just one "boundaries" parent. In fact, I would hazard a guess that most (or at least 50%) of parents believe in setting clear boundaries. In general you can identify them through their children, who tend to be polite and well-mannered.

I agree. You can always tell if parents are weak in certain areas by interactions with their kids.