Pacifier Addict at age 2

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm sorry for my contribution to throwing this thread off topic. Just couldn't resist the trolls.

I think you could try cold-turkey, but possibly weaning off of the paci at first by offering it only in the crib is worth a try first. I kept my paci until I was almost 3, although I don't think I always sucked on it...it was just a memento or lovey.

I then put in the trash can when a friend was coming over for a playdate so she wouldn't think I was a baby. My mom conveniently emptied the trash while we played, so there was no going back. It was a scary feeling, I recall, but I got over it. If you can introduce some other lovey (doll, blankie) that could help. Those things tend to be more acceptable longer and can be keepsakes one day. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Wow, I see the Superior Dance is back in style.

Hey, I cut the pacifier out at 8 months, so I am not against pulling it. In fact, you would probably figure me for one of those "boundaries" parents. But I know that it worked for me because (1) I did it early, and (2) I got a child that was not dependent on it. However, not every child is the same. Some have food issues, others sleep issues. Some won't share. Others won't wear the clothes you want. Some want to watch the Wiggles all freakin' day. Every kid has something they don't want to give on, and I'd love to see the parent who could say they never had to compromise.

Bottom line, you have to have some humility as a parent, or your children will teach it to you.

[Anonymous]

Amen PP, amen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Whoa, whoa whoa. I am the mom with ALMOST five year old who had the paci. We have lots of boundaries, so many in fact, I am the parent is the house who has to learn how to say yes. DD ended up keeping it so long b/c 1) when we were really ready, I was having another baby and didn't want to take away lovey 2) I was lazy in this respect and 3) I believe it is really OKAY to have loveys as long as they are hurting anyone. If it were a blankie, I never would have taken it away! Life is hard for kids, it is okay they are attached to something. I am a really good mom and for people to insinuate I do not have boundaries or that I am raising bad kids without manners and all the other nonsense is just SILLY. I just wanted to offer the OP some insight, but you have to make it about laying down the law and whatnot. Binkies? Boundary lady, you owe me an apology for your tone and accusations.

No. Clearly I know nothing about whether or not you are a good mother, nor did I claim that I did. I made some valid points proposing that going cold turkey on removing the pacifier was the best way forward, and that we should not be afraid of setting boundaries for our children. For this I have been branded a Nazi. As someone who has lost relatives in the Holocaust this is particularly offensive. It is not clear that suggesting removing a pacifier can with justification be compared to carrying out a genocide of 6 million innocents nor starting a war that led to tens of millions of deaths.

But I am not going to sniffle and cry about my hurt feelings. This is DC Urban Moms: the truth is, if you swim in the infants pool, whether you like it or not you will occasionaly taste some urine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:[

No. Clearly I know nothing about whether or not you are a good mother, nor did I claim that I did. I made some valid points proposing that going cold turkey on removing the pacifier was the best way forward, and that we should not be afraid of setting boundaries for our children. For this I have been branded a Nazi. As someone who has lost relatives in the Holocaust this is particularly offensive. It is not clear that suggesting removing a pacifier can with justification be compared to carrying out a genocide of 6 million innocents nor starting a war that led to tens of millions of deaths.

But I am not going to sniffle and cry about my hurt feelings. This is DC Urban Moms: the truth is, if you swim in the infants pool, whether you like it or not you will occasionaly taste some urine.

Um, yeah, especially if you are the one peeing in the pool.

[Anonymous]

PP, may I direct you to another post of interest? "Oh Merry Fruitcake Troll...come out come out wherever you are... "

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP, may I direct you to another post of interest? "Oh Merry Fruitcake Troll...come out come out wherever you are... "

Actually, there is more than one person on this thread that agrees with your so called Troll. I'm one of them. It's amazing to me that people that disagree with you are labeled names. The Troll thread is silly, you all taking so much pride in coming up with this name. Way to go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

"scar him"?!! "How awful would that be?"??!!!

Certainly not as awful as being a weak mother surrendering to their every whim lest their little angel be upset. Pacifiers are for babies. You should just go cold turkey when they get beyond that point. Children need boundaries, not pandering. As with everything in parenting, taking the "easy" path in the short term = long-term pain.

For the record, this was the MFT response that pushed this thread downhill completely.

Sorry for that, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP, may I direct you to another post of interest? "Oh Merry Fruitcake Troll...come out come out wherever you are... "

Actually, there is more than one person on this thread that agrees with your so called Troll. I'm one of them. It's amazing to me that people that disagree with you are labeled names. The Troll thread is silly, you all taking so much pride in coming up with this name. Way to go.

and you would be a bundt cake troll!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP, may I direct you to another post of interest? "Oh Merry Fruitcake Troll...come out come out wherever you are... "

Actually, there is more than one person on this thread that agrees with your so called Troll. I'm one of them. It's amazing to me that people that disagree with you are labeled names. The Troll thread is silly, you all taking so much pride in coming up with this name. Way to go.

Thanks! Its a fun way of dealing with the rudies.

[Anonymous]

Wow. This thread has devolved into serious kook territory. Is it the paper-shuffling nature of our govt. jobs that makes people so unhinged or what? Do any of you work for USPS?

About the pacifier, my friend used this book because her daughter was a pacifier junkie. It was called "Binky Land" or something like that. There's a little story about a kid not needing the binky anymore and then you can mail it off to binky land and your child puts it in an envelope. There are a few binky quitting books on amazon. Maybe you can go that route.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP, may I direct you to another post of interest? "Oh Merry Fruitcake Troll...come out come out wherever you are... "

Actually, there is more than one person on this thread that agrees with your so called Troll. I'm one of them. It's amazing to me that people that disagree with you are labeled names. The Troll thread is silly, you all taking so much pride in coming up with this name. Way to go.

Oh, and its not the disagreeing that earns the MFT. Its the way of expressing opinion by being judgmental, intolerant, and rude ("weak mother" et al). You think its better to be labeled a weak parent than a merry fruitcake troll?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whoa, whoa whoa. I am the mom with ALMOST five year old who had the paci. We have lots of boundaries, so many in fact, I am the parent is the house who has to learn how to say yes. DD ended up keeping it so long b/c 1) when we were really ready, I was having another baby and didn't want to take away lovey 2) I was lazy in this respect and 3) I believe it is really OKAY to have loveys as long as they are hurting anyone. If it were a blankie, I never would have taken it away! Life is hard for kids, it is okay they are attached to something. I am a really good mom and for people to insinuate I do not have boundaries or that I am raising bad kids without manners and all the other nonsense is just SILLY. I just wanted to offer the OP some insight, but you have to make it about laying down the law and whatnot. Binkies? Boundary lady, you owe me an apology for your tone and accusations.

No. Clearly I know nothing about whether or not you are a good mother, nor did I claim that I did. I made some valid points proposing that going cold turkey on removing the pacifier was the best way forward, and that we should not be afraid of setting boundaries for our children. For this I have been branded a Nazi. As someone who has lost relatives in the Holocaust this is particularly offensive. It is not clear that suggesting removing a pacifier can with justification be compared to carrying out a genocide of 6 million innocents nor starting a war that led to tens of millions of deaths.

But I am not going to sniffle and cry about my hurt feelings. This is DC Urban Moms: the truth is, if you swim in the infants pool, whether you like it or not you will occasionaly taste some urine.

Wow, pulling out a most horrible family tragedy for the noble purpose of -- defending your position on pacifiers to a bunch of anonymous people on DCUM? You will make a fine MIL one day.

[Anonymous]

this kind of behavior and vocabulary does not surprise me.

they're not strong enough to take the "paci" from their children, what kind of behavior should we expect from them anyway?

[sigh]

[Anonymous]

OP -

I tried to take away the paci cold turkey from DD when she was about 2 and a half. We went for 4 weeks straight with no exceptions... she screamed and cried the whole time. She needed it to get to sleep, and essentially just ended up giving up naps, because she would cry for 2 and a half hours straight without the paci. By night time, she was so exhausted that she could fall asleep on hger own with out the paci BUT she would wake up every few hours. This went on for an entire month. At the end of it I was exhausted, she was a complete wreck, and she STILL hadn't forgotten about the damn paci. EVERYONE assured me that kids get over it, they don't remember that they ever had the paci., she'd stop crying so much in a week, tops. Well, it didn't work out that way for me.

I'm sure some of the nice boundary people here on this thread would have agreed -- kids just get over these things -- well, sorry, mine didn't.

I relented, and gave her the paci ONLY for naps and sleep. She really NEEDED those naps at 2 and a half, and having her cry the wole time wasn't doing her or me any good.

She now doesn't nap anymore, so she only has the paci just before bed.

Her "boundary" is, no pacifier anywhere except bed. When she wakes up, it goes under her pillow. That's it, end of story. It is working for us, and no, I don't fear that I am failing to show my child boundaries, or that I am allowing her to call the shots. I gave her the paci to begin with, she developed a habit, and it seems to be one she isn't ready to give up yet. But I see signs she is growing less dependant on it, and she puts it under her pillow every morning without complaint.