$1200/month for adult and child for food, clothing and the like- sounds fine?

[Anonymous]

This is OP.

I do have an emergency fund and I hope to be able to save a hundred or two each month without really compromising my lifestyle.
I am too old to go natural with my hair. Creams and serums- cheap ones- are much less effective and I already have some problems due to not using any moisturizers before I was 25. I would hate to give in to age just because my H has crazy ideas, not because I truly need to save. But I digress.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here, thanks all. My marital concerns is a totally different matter and I am in therapy (my own savings paying for it). I am not legal to work in the US.
This budget is not for food and clothes only, it's for my personal expenses, too. That's why it seems high.
H is doing his own grocery shopping, I think it's stupid but it's his idea and its easier for me.
H will have about 2k left after all payments but he claims he will be saving aggressively (he accuses me of not saving enough). Whatever. He has some pretty crazy ideas and the purpose is not clear to me.

Uh you need an attorney. Your marriage is over. Understand he is your adversary. Your money and relationship as you've presented it can not be divided

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:


But why?
It's not like we went broke and there is no other way.
I hope I am able to afford it.

Because you will be divorced in less than three years, you can't work in the U.S., and the savings from your allowance will make the difference between dumpster diving to furnish your one-bedroom apartment, and being able to buy something new from Ikea.

[Anonymous]

OP here
I don't think marriage is necessarily over, there is nothing terrible like abuse, etc. I think H just started to think a little too highly of himself and wants to be in control more). Hopefully this will change as I get my work permit and find a job. Therapy is supposed to help, too. I am sure I am enabling it, and I will either change, or just leave.

I hope to share the household, divide finances (only have a shared account for household stuff and rent, etc), and stay civil and courteous for our child. If divorce is in the cards I will have a job and child support- this is already something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP.

I do have an emergency fund and I hope to be able to save a hundred or two each month without really compromising my lifestyle.
I am too old to go natural with my hair. Creams and serums- cheap ones- are much less effective and I already have some problems due to not using any moisturizers before I was 25. I would hate to give in to age just because my H has crazy ideas, not because I truly need to save. But I digress.

You think THAT'S a problem?? Oh, honey. You haven't yet begun with the problems. Having to choose between leaving your kindergartner home alone or skipping your shift because you can't find/ afford a sitter and knowing you'll get fired if you miss work again, that's a problem. Having to choose between new underwear for your kid and tampons for yourself because there isn't enough money for both, that's a problem.
Please wake up. Very soon, your problems will have nothing to do with fine lines and wrinkles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP.

I do have an emergency fund and I hope to be able to save a hundred or two each month without really compromising my lifestyle.
I am too old to go natural with my hair. Creams and serums- cheap ones- are much less effective and I already have some problems due to not using any moisturizers before I was 25. I would hate to give in to age just because my H has crazy ideas, not because I truly need to save. But I digress.

You think THAT'S a problem?? Oh, honey. You haven't yet begun with the problems. Having to choose between leaving your kindergartner home alone or skipping your shift because you can't find/ afford a sitter and knowing you'll get fired if you miss work again, that's a problem. Having to choose between new underwear for your kid and tampons for yourself because there isn't enough money for both, that's a problem.
Please wake up. Very soon, your problems will have nothing to do with fine lines and wrinkles.

Oh no, don't worry, I will be fine thanks though
Even if we divorce I have a backup plan. H is not a bad man and will not leave his child without financial support. He also will not want full custody as he is not a very involved dad (though not a totally absent one). I can either go back to my home country or land a job here.

Anyway, I just wanted to know if I can make it on this budget. The rest is for relationships forum.

[Anonymous]

Well What exactly are you going to do if you can't "make it" on $1200 a month? What are your options here?

[Anonymous]

Are you a catalog bride and spend money like water ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well What exactly are you going to do if you can't "make it" on $1200 a month? What are your options here?

As I said H is paying for housing, insurance, etc
No one is talking 1200 for everything

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you a catalog bride and spend money like water ?

No

[Anonymous]

OP is a troll people.

[Anonymous]

You will not land a job here OP. No company is going to sponsor you. And going back to your home country with your child might not be possible without your H's consent. Is he working on citizenship?

[Anonymous]

OP, just for some perspective:

I'm a single mom in DC. I color my own hair (which looks fine) and paint my own nails (which also look fine) and spend a little bit extra on nicer skin cream and cleanser than you can get at the drug store. I also do all the shopping and have a preschooler who has a couple of extracurricular activities that are not free. Our monthly food budget is $150/week, or about $900/month. With the extra $300 from your $1200, here is what I pay:

$50 internet bill
$100 power bill
$100 phone bill
$50 into DD savings account

You're worried if you'll "be able to get by" on $1200 a month? You think you're "too old" to not color your hair? You think that NOT spending close to $400 every 6 weeks on your appearance means that you're "giving in to age" as if that's a bad thing? You sound like a spoiled, shallow princess and I am in no way surprised that your husband wants to put you on a budget. How much were you spending per month BEFORE he got this "crazy" idea?

[Anonymous]

I do spend $300 a week for DH, self and DC. $100 goes to groceries, $100 for eating out (thrice in the weekend, which we all enjoy as a family) and $100 for stuff for the house, including cleaning supplies and personal items.
While I do think your beauty regimen seems expensive and an allowance to curtail spending in that area will help, I dont understand why your DH is separating food.
Who is going to handle the cooking and what happens when one of you runs out of ketchup, will you be accused of stealing from the other or have to run to the grocery store? With a preschooler in the mix, it will only get worse since your child's needs will change with time and he is going to be confused with all this meal separation. How will you do family dinners?

What does your therapist say about this?

[Anonymous]

Is this for real?