Married Men, preferably sole providers, help!

[Anonymous]

I make home life as easy as I can for my husband WITHOUT blowjobs. Nasty asses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I make home life as easy as I can for my husband WITHOUT blowjobs. Nasty asses.

I'm sure you do other things to make your DH feel appreciated. The OP asked for married men who are sole providers to suggest what she might to do make her husband feel appreciated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I make home life as easy as I can for my husband WITHOUT blowjobs. Nasty asses.

Grow up. There isn't anything nasty about a healthy sex life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you use childcare when you are in school? Is it online school?

No childcare costs. Thankfully, we are blessed with family to watch the children while I am at school. I do all of my studying, papers and research after I put the kids in bed.

Then you are blessed enough to be able to work (part time) with no child care cost to have extra spending money for hubby.

I have suggested that I work part time. My husband is not in agreement with this and is adamant that I need to finish school and raise our children. Even if I did work part time, our family that helps in elderly and is overwhelmed as it is. I would not expect them to keep my children while I then go to work after they have been at my house by %am for me to make it to the hospital for class by 6am.

If your husband is adamant that you don't work outside the home and that you "raise the kids'" what do you have to feel guilty about right now. You made a decision that your job right now is to raise our kids. That's work, duh!! Sorry. You sound like a saint and your husband sounds like he may be stuck in the 1950's.

[Anonymous]

Maybe occasionally splurge just a little (go for a nice dinner, buy something extra). It is nice to be able to reap a little bit of the financial reward for all your hard work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you use childcare when you are in school? Is it online school?

No childcare costs. Thankfully, we are blessed with family to watch the children while I am at school. I do all of my studying, papers and research after I put the kids in bed.

Then you are blessed enough to be able to work (part time) with no child care cost to have extra spending money for hubby.

I have suggested that I work part time. My husband is not in agreement with this and is adamant that I need to finish school and raise our children. Even if I did work part time, our family that helps in elderly and is overwhelmed as it is. I would not expect them to keep my children while I then go to work after they have been at my house by %am for me to make it to the hospital for class by 6am.

If your husband is adamant that you don't work outside the home and that you "raise the kids'" what do you have to feel guilty about right now. You made a decision that your job right now is to raise our kids. That's work, duh!! Sorry. You sound like a saint and your husband sounds like he may be stuck in the 1950's.

OP here. I don't exactly know what type of "help" you are trying to offer.

My husband isn't 1950's at all. He is realistic. Me working part time isn't an option since I wouldn't bring anything home after you subtract child care costs. So, therefore, I stay at home with our children and attend school full time. Meaning that I will one day (sooner than later) return to the work force. Most 1950's women I know made homemaking a life and it is just a phase of our lives.

I never said being a full time mother and full time student wasn't hard. I simply asked for advice on how to make my workaholic, tired and stressed out husband happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I make home life as easy as I can for my husband WITHOUT blowjobs. Nasty asses.

It would be even easier if you blew him.

[Anonymous]

OP, you're home with kids, which is full time, AND you're a student. Your husband works a...9-5 or 9-6 job? doesn't sound to me like the inequity lies in the direction of you not pulling your weight. I get that you're feeling guilty about not providing income, but your work at home caring for the kids is income in a different form. Your pursuit of your degree will make you far more employable and open more lucrative opportunities for you. I am not sure why you are taking on guilt, esp, as it doesn't seem to be coming from your husband. Do the things that ALL spouses should do to make their partners feel appreciated, but also value your work, your worth and your own time as much as you value your husband's work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you're home with kids, which is full time, AND you're a student. Your husband works a...9-5 or 9-6 job? doesn't sound to me like the inequity lies in the direction of you not pulling your weight. I get that you're feeling guilty about not providing income, but your work at home caring for the kids is income in a different form. Your pursuit of your degree will make you far more employable and open more lucrative opportunities for you. I am not sure why you are taking on guilt, esp, as it doesn't seem to be coming from your husband. Do the things that ALL spouses should do to make their partners feel appreciated, but also value your work, your worth and your own time as much as you value your husband's work.

Thank you. I appreciate your thoughts.

My husband does not work a regular 9-5 job. If he did, I wouldn't feel the way that I do. My husband works 12 hour shifts, that rotate and also travels. He is exhausted. He is at work more than he is home and that's BECAUSE I stay at home. I understand why I am here and that my work is valuable. I just wish I could carry more of the load. That's all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you use childcare when you are in school? Is it online school?

No childcare costs. Thankfully, we are blessed with family to watch the children while I am at school. I do all of my studying, papers and research after I put the kids in bed.

Then you are blessed enough to be able to work (part time) with no child care cost to have extra spending money for hubby.

I have suggested that I work part time. My husband is not in agreement with this and is adamant that I need to finish school and raise our children. Even if I did work part time, our family that helps in elderly and is overwhelmed as it is. I would not expect them to keep my children while I then go to work after they have been at my house by %am for me to make it to the hospital for class by 6am.

If your husband is adamant that you don't work outside the home and that you "raise the kids'" what do you have to feel guilty about right now. You made a decision that your job right now is to raise our kids. That's work, duh!! Sorry. You sound like a saint and your husband sounds like he may be stuck in the 1950's.

OP here. I don't exactly know what type of "help" you are trying to offer.

My husband isn't 1950's at all. He is realistic. Me working part time isn't an option since I wouldn't bring anything home after you subtract child care costs. So, therefore, I stay at home with our children and attend school full time. Meaning that I will one day (sooner than later) return to the work force. Most 1950's women I know made homemaking a life and it is just a phase of our lives.

I never said being a full time mother and full time student wasn't hard. I simply asked for advice on how to make my workaholic, tired and stressed out husband happy.

You could start by not asking him stupid questions, such as the one you posted here.

[Anonymous]

You guys have 4 kids. Life right now will be rough for awhile, but super enjoyable in a few years once all the kids are school aged. And you two will still be young enough to enjoy it.

I'm a woman, but one thing I've noticed is how important it is to not call with problems. Find a friend for that (or DCUM, as you have). Men like to solve problems. Deliver good news to him about the kids, thank him when he does something that you appreciate, etc.

Are you finding time to exercise and keeping yourself up?

[Anonymous]

I am a guy. This thread is clearly mostly women responding with things the guy wants. I vote for the Blow Job....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You guys have 4 kids. Life right now will be rough for awhile, but super enjoyable in a few years once all the kids are school aged. And you two will still be young enough to enjoy it.

I'm a woman, but one thing I've noticed is how important it is to not call with problems. Find a friend for that (or DCUM, as you have). Men like to solve problems. Deliver good news to him about the kids, thank him when he does something that you appreciate, etc.

Are you finding time to exercise and keeping yourself up?

Yes. I figured out recently that I needed to do something for ME. I work out 3 times a week, kid free, at the hospital.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a guy. This thread is clearly mostly women responding with things the guy wants. I vote for the Blow Job....

Women sometimes over think these things. They do a lot of work on nice little touches that they'd want if they were guys. Perfect gift, perfect meal, baked goods, etc. etc. etc. All nice. But, really, just think of creative ways to give us orgasms.

[Anonymous]

+1