13 Year Old DD Nasty Tone

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is how teenage girls act. She is not copying your wife. She would act his way even if you and your wife had the most perfect loving marriage. Teenage girls think they know everything and everything is a major deal and everyone is looking at them. I don't know how boys feel/act. I am a female and only have girls.

You need to discipline her. Take away something she likes.

OP I was your daughter 30+ years ago. In hindsight, I wish my father had disciplined me more strongly than he did for disrepectful behavior I showed; instead, it was written off as "budding hormones" and "that's the way girls are at this age." I turned into a monster for a few years ; a firmer hand when I was 13 might have prevented that.

Step in now. She is your daughter and she has no right to speak to you -- or any adult for that matter -- in a disrespectful way.

[Anonymous]

Your daughter is 13 and she is mimicking what she hears.

[Anonymous]

QTIP: Quit Taking It Personally. It is not about you. She is a teen, individuating from you (which is necessary and appropriate developmentally speaking).

I highly recommend the book, The Blessing of a B Minus, by Wendy Mogel. Great guidelines for understanding our teens, living with their behavior, and guiding them to adult independence.

I also found the book "How to Hug a Porcupine" helpful.

[Anonymous]

My DD gets snotty as a defense mechanism when she doesn't want to admit she's wrong. I try to remember that but it's hard. I often say "Watch your tone. You wouldn't speak to your friends that way (or she wouldn't have any!) and you won't speak to me that way either." She doesn't have to like what you say but she needs to be respectful - to everyone.

It's definitely a teenage "thing" but that's no excuse for not nipping it in the bud.

[Anonymous]

Nah. Dad here is playing "perfect parent." I've been in those families. It's not quite what he says in his oh so innocent post----again, he significantly impacted family finances, as in: I quit a good job to start my own poorly planned business, mom has to work and we are broke as shit. Oops. Then he comes up with kid rules, asks his wife to enforce them and accuses her of not having a "unified front" when she disagrees.

Of course the kids are pissed and don't respect him. Respect is earned, not given, and you don't get it just for existing.

[Anonymous]

I love how everyone is projecting their own stuff onto the OP and his family. If I were the OP I'd take a good number of the comments here with a grain of salt.