Redshirting - why?

[Anonymous]

I went to a school where redshirting was common and, since I wasn't redshirted and had a summer birthday I was one of the youngest in my class. It didn't make much difference in elementary/middle school, but in high school I had classmates who were driving as freshmen, while I didn't turn 16 until the end of junior year.

At that level, it makes a difference from a social perspective.

[Anonymous]

Unless there is a developmental reason please don't do it! The worst thing to do to a child is hold them back when they are ready to learn. If he is with kids who are not on his level he will be bored and that can lead to behavioral issues. Also, keep in mind that kids do start to realize that the older kids do not really belong. My 3rd grader DS came home one day asking if "Charlie" flunked a grade since he is so much older than everyone else. He asked if it meant "Charlie" was not very smart. If he is ready, he should go to kindergarten.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Humblebrag. I'm glad for you that your younger child is excelling socially and academically.

Thank you. Anything to add that might actually help me understand why my relatives think this is so important simply because of when his birthday is?

Maybe they read Malcolm Gladwell's book purporting to show all of the advantages of being the oldest? Or maybe they read one of those books that say that all boys develop later than all girls, and therefore school is good for all girls but bad for all boys?

I think that redshirting can be a good thing in individual cases. But I don't think much of the idea that all boys should be redshirted simply because of when their birthdays are.

[Anonymous]

Do you have an option? In MoCo I thought you had to meet a certain date for birthdays otherwise your child stayed back an additional year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some of my relatives are pressuring me to hold my 4 year old back before he starts kindergarten. I did not grow up in the US and would never, ever have considered it. To be honest, I'm still not considering it but I wondered if anyone else would help explain why they are so insistent this is the right thing to do. (They did this in their immediate family and insist it was the best decision they ever made).

My son's birthday is mid-September, so he is the youngest in his class. And yet, academically, he's far advanced of any of the other kids in his class (he's in PK4 in a DC charter). The teacher is already having to work with him on his own because, for example, he's the only kid who is reading so far and "small group" wouldn't work for him when the other kids are still learning their letters or just beginning to sound out words (he's reading at about 1st or 2nd grade level). It's the same with math. He's also doing well socially -- he is extremely attentive, has good comprehension and knows "how to behave" at school. He also seems to get on very well with the other kids. All in all, he's settled well and it is not noticeable that he is younger than everyone else, and almost a year younger than some. He is not tall, but he's not the shortest either.

I know there's the sports issue and he may not be as physically advanced as some of the other kids (not noticeably so though) but I've never really placed a lot of value on competitive sports anyway. Why else would we hold him back? Given that he is already ahead of his class, surely it would just exacerbate that if he were held back a year and put in with all the three year olds? After all, someone has to be the youngest.

I think the non-snarky answer to this is that when I was a kid, parents who wanted to foster their children's talents would push for them to get ahead in class. My parents wanted me to skip a grade and they might have wanted it for my brother if he hadn't been born the day before the cutoff. I think the theory parents had back then was that if you got to do stuff a year early, you had even more of your life to develop and succeed.

The more modern research seems to support the opposite theory: Being older/more advanced than your classmates matters much more when you are younger (and the relative age difference is larger) than when you are older. You pick up the material better, and you tend to get more attention from teachers, coaches, etc. Perhaps in part for the same reasons, there is a body of evidence showing that students who take time off before college or before grad school tend to outperform what you would predict from prior grades and test scores alone.

So, I think parents that are redshirting are doing it on the belief that the best available evidence suggests it will help their children in the long run.

Now, all that being said, there are obvious downsides. If your child really is gifted, holding them back may exacerbate an inability to focus in class, a disconnect from one's peers, etc. Most parents should probably stick with a school district's normal age cutoffs, because those are your best indication of where their child belongs.

Of course, a very simple way to eliminate the incentive to redshirt would be for elementary schools that have more than one classroom per grade to group students by birthday. (e.g. if there are three third grade classrooms, one should have the kids born in Jan-April, the second May - August, etc.). That way, age bias would be reduced. I don't believe many schools have adopted this approach.

[Anonymous]

Make the best choice for your son, whether that's to send him on time or keep him back. It sounds like you see no reason to keep him back so send him on and don't worry about it. It sounds like he will be ready.

If you want to know why I kept my September boy back, it's in part because the kindergarten curriculum is closer to the 1st grade curriculum when I was a child -- no more sitting around singing, drawing, playing and napping the entire day, but now it's all about reading and math. My DS wasn't ready for that when he was 4 about to turn 5. He was shy about joining in group activities, liked to run off by himself, and got frustrated by difficult tasks, giving up too soon and saying "I can't do it." He has an accomplished older sibling whom he thinks can do anything and that seemed to have inhibited his own confidence in himself. But a year later he was much more confident in himself and felt good about school. He was fine with sitting in a circle, doing worksheets, and sitting at his desk quietly (though he still gets in trouble for talking too much). So far the curriculum has been the perfect level and speed for him. We made what we thought was the best choice for him and I don't regret it. My SIL, however, regrets not holding her late August boy back; after he graduated from high school at age 17 he really drifted for an entire year before getting back on track. He had struggled since late elementary school and she feels he would have done better had he been just a bit older.

There's no one right answer. Do what you feel in you heart is right and tell those pressuring you that you know your child best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks - I just felt a little cornered at a recent family gathering when I was being told that this was the only way to go and I just can't understand it.

The one relative in particular who was most pushy held back her son even though he was very strong academically and still claimed that it was the best thing she'd ever done and why he got full marks in his SATs.

I wondered how he wasn't bored, in that case. Isn't it better to be challenged than to be bored?

She also insisted that socially in high school kids can be very mean etc etc. Of course, I have no idea how my sweet, charming 4 year old will do in a high school environment! Right now, I already feel that he has better social skills and problem solving skills than I do!!!

Oogway (Kung Fu Panda): Quit, don't quit? Noodles, don't noodles? You are too concerned about what was and what will be...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks - I just felt a little cornered at a recent family gathering when I was being told that this was the only way to go and I just can't understand it.

The one relative in particular who was most pushy held back her son even though he was very strong academically and still claimed that it was the best thing she'd ever done and why he got full marks in his SATs.

I wondered how he wasn't bored, in that case. Isn't it better to be challenged than to be bored?

She also insisted that socially in high school kids can be very mean etc etc. Of course, I have no idea how my sweet, charming 4 year old will do in a high school environment! Right now, I already feel that he has better social skills and problem solving skills than I do!!!

Oogway (Kung Fu Panda): Quit, don't quit? Noodles, don't noodles? You are too concerned about what was and what will be...

What on earth are you talking about???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Make the best choice for your son, whether that's to send him on time or keep him back. It sounds like you see no reason to keep him back so send him on and don't worry about it. It sounds like he will be ready.

If you want to know why I kept my September boy back, it's in part because the kindergarten curriculum is closer to the 1st grade curriculum when I was a child -- no more sitting around singing, drawing, playing and napping the entire day, but now it's all about reading and math. My DS wasn't ready for that when he was 4 about to turn 5. He was shy about joining in group activities, liked to run off by himself, and got frustrated by difficult tasks, giving up too soon and saying "I can't do it." He has an accomplished older sibling whom he thinks can do anything and that seemed to have inhibited his own confidence in himself. But a year later he was much more confident in himself and felt good about school. He was fine with sitting in a circle, doing worksheets, and sitting at his desk quietly (though he still gets in trouble for talking too much). So far the curriculum has been the perfect level and speed for him. We made what we thought was the best choice for him and I don't regret it. My SIL, however, regrets not holding her late August boy back; after he graduated from high school at age 17 he really drifted for an entire year before getting back on track. He had struggled since late elementary school and she feels he would have done better had he been just a bit older.

There's no one right answer. Do what you feel in you heart is right and tell those pressuring you that you know your child best.

Thanks. I'm not considering it at all but they were so insistent that I "think about it" that I figured I'd try and look into it more. My one concern would be for when he's older if it became a problem. Right now, I think his class (and he's at a DC charter that has a strong focus on reading, even though a lot of their curriculum is through play) is not a big challenge for him. Last year (PS3) was very challenging but he excelled that way. I just can't imagine having to repeat a grade so that we could hold him back.

[Anonymous]

Give him the gift of time. We did. Never looked back. absolutely the right decision

[Anonymous]

Give him the gift of time. We did. Never looked back. absolutely the right decision

[Anonymous]

I would not make the decision now-but keep my mind open and see what the teachers recommend come spring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Give him the gift of time. We did. Never looked back. absolutely the right decision

The "gift of time" that the OP is planning to give the OP's son is putting him in school at the right time for him.

(I have never understood this "gift of time" thing. A five-year-old who is not enrolled in kindergarten will spend a year being 5. So will a five-year-old who is enrolled in kindergarten.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks - I just felt a little cornered at a recent family gathering when I was being told that this was the only way to go and I just can't understand it.

The one relative in particular who was most pushy held back her son even though he was very strong academically and still claimed that it was the best thing she'd ever done and why he got full marks in his SATs.

I wondered how he wasn't bored, in that case. Isn't it better to be challenged than to be bored?

She also insisted that socially in high school kids can be very mean etc etc. Of course, I have no idea how my sweet, charming 4 year old will do in a high school environment! Right now, I already feel that he has better social skills and problem solving skills than I do!!!

Oogway (Kung Fu Panda): Quit, don't quit? Noodles, don't noodles? You are too concerned about what was and what will be...

What on earth are you talking about???

Haha, I got it. Best advice so far, IMHO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Give him the gift of time. We did. Never looked back. absolutely the right decision

I want to vomit every time I hear this "gift of time" bullshit. It's usually spouted by a helicopter parent who doesn't have a valid reason for redshirting.