Prenupt/Marital Agreement - Do you have one and thoughts on getting one

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Neither of us had two pennies to rub together when we got married straight out of grad school, so no.

However, if one of us had significant pre-existing assets, we would have one, and I would have no problems signing it.

+2

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Neither of us had two pennies to rub together when we got married straight out of grad school, so no.

However, if one of us had significant pre-existing assets, we would have one, and I would have no problems signing it.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Neither of us had two pennies to rub together when we got married straight out of grad school, so no.

However, if one of us had significant pre-existing assets, we would have one, and I would have no problems signing it.

Your first sentence applies to me and my late husband - we married in our late 20s with no assets whatsoever.

Now I have more than $2M in assets and a child whose interests I need to protect. If I were to marry again I'd require one, and I'd have no problem signing one for someone with equal or greater assets than I have.

[Anonymous]

I think it's ok if you have a family business or a child to protect. But in general they screw over the lesser earning partner, usually the wife. If you are a woman planning to have kids, keep in mind that your earning potential may take a serious hit, and make sure the agreement protects you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Neither of us had two pennies to rub together when we got married straight out of grad school, so no.

However, if one of us had significant pre-existing assets, we would have one, and I would have no problems signing it.

+2

+3 I'm a single parent, own my house and a profitable investment property, have a decent amount in retirement accounts and make $225. For the financial protection of my DSs, I would insist on one (should I ever marry again).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wouldn't you each need a lawyer? Seems hard for one lawyer to represent both of you, since the premise of the agreement is you will be separating.

OP here, yes I believe that's correct although most of the fees will be incurred by the lawyer drafting the agreement. I assume the fees for the lawyer advising the other party won't be that much as we're in agreement on the substance of the terms.

Domestic relations lawyer here: this is not true at all. It is labor intensive going through and figuring out what was left out...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Now that we're married it's called a marital agreement but it's basically the same as a prenupt. We've discussed getting one and we're generally in agreement on what is fair and I'm wondering if we should formalize our agreement. I've heard several variations of the "don't plan for the marriage to fail" and "you should know the person you marry well enough" etc. so I'll pre-emptively provide my response to that. Statistically the frequency of divorce is high so I think it would be foolish for us to assume it couldn't happen. After all, ask anyone who is divorced if they thought it would happen at the time they got married and hopefully they'd say no. In addition, reading several of the threads on divorce and people on both sides can become monsters during a divorce so just because someone is reasonable now doesn't mean they would be if things don't work out. We're both in it for the long run but recognize that unfortunately sometimes things don't work out even for the best of us. Maybe in some ways its like car insurance where you hope you never have to use it.

The pros would be eliminating uncertainty in the event of divorce as you never know what a judge will decide which is huge for us. I think/hope it would also reduce attorney expenses/litigation costs because you have a formal agreement. The only negative I can see is the cost although I'm not really sure what it would be for a basic prenupt. It might increase the likelihood of divorce by making it logistically easier for either of us to walk away but I'm not sure if this is a pro or a con as this the logistical difficulty of a divorce isn't a great reason for two people to stay together.

What state?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Neither of us had two pennies to rub together when we got married straight out of grad school, so no.

However, if one of us had significant pre-existing assets, we would have one, and I would have no problems signing it.

Your first sentence applies to me and my late husband - we married in our late 20s with no assets whatsoever.

Now I have more than $2M in assets and a child whose interests I need to protect. If I were to marry again I'd require one, and I'd have no problem signing one for someone with equal or greater assets than I have.

Another widow in similar situation--my children come first and I'd only get married with a prenup.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Now that we're married it's called a marital agreement but it's basically the same as a prenupt. We've discussed getting one and we're generally in agreement on what is fair and I'm wondering if we should formalize our agreement. I've heard several variations of the "don't plan for the marriage to fail" and "you should know the person you marry well enough" etc. so I'll pre-emptively provide my response to that. Statistically the frequency of divorce is high so I think it would be foolish for us to assume it couldn't happen. After all, ask anyone who is divorced if they thought it would happen at the time they got married and hopefully they'd say no. In addition, reading several of the threads on divorce and people on both sides can become monsters during a divorce so just because someone is reasonable now doesn't mean they would be if things don't work out. We're both in it for the long run but recognize that unfortunately sometimes things don't work out even for the best of us. Maybe in some ways its like car insurance where you hope you never have to use it.

The pros would be eliminating uncertainty in the event of divorce as you never know what a judge will decide which is huge for us. I think/hope it would also reduce attorney expenses/litigation costs because you have a formal agreement. The only negative I can see is the cost although I'm not really sure what it would be for a basic prenupt. It might increase the likelihood of divorce by making it logistically easier for either of us to walk away but I'm not sure if this is a pro or a con as this the logistical difficulty of a divorce isn't a great reason for two people to stay together.

What state?

Good point, state is VA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wouldn't you each need a lawyer? Seems hard for one lawyer to represent both of you, since the premise of the agreement is you will be separating.

OP here, yes I believe that's correct although most of the fees will be incurred by the lawyer drafting the agreement. I assume the fees for the lawyer advising the other party won't be that much as we're in agreement on the substance of the terms.

Domestic relations lawyer here: this is not true at all. It is labor intensive going through and figuring out what was left out...

Fair enough. Can you provide any ballpark cost estimates for a fairly simple prenupt/marital agreement? Separate finances so we'd keep our own accounts, 401Ks, neither side pays alimony, etc. so it should be fairly straightforward.

Also, any thoughts on how we can reduce legal fees? Our thought was to prepare an itemized list of things and our agreement on them as well as a list of assets for disclosure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wouldn't you each need a lawyer? Seems hard for one lawyer to represent both of you, since the premise of the agreement is you will be separating.

OP here, yes I believe that's correct although most of the fees will be incurred by the lawyer drafting the agreement. I assume the fees for the lawyer advising the other party won't be that much as we're in agreement on the substance of the terms.

Domestic relations lawyer here: this is not true at all. It is labor intensive going through and figuring out what was left out...

Fair enough. Can you provide any ballpark cost estimates for a fairly simple prenupt/marital agreement? Separate finances so we'd keep our own accounts, 401Ks, neither side pays alimony, etc. so it should be fairly straightforward.

Also, any thoughts on how we can reduce legal fees? Our thought was to prepare an itemized list of things and our agreement on them as well as a list of assets for disclosure.

Is depends on the number of changes needed. To be honest, nearly everyone says his/her case is straight forward and easy. Good Prenus are fairly complicated because you need to consider many, many different scenarios.

[Anonymous]

What a slap in the face it would be to be asked to sign a prenup.
Unless of course there are kids involved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Neither of us had two pennies to rub together when we got married straight out of grad school, so no.

However, if one of us had significant pre-existing assets, we would have one, and I would have no problems signing it.

Your first sentence applies to me and my late husband - we married in our late 20s with no assets whatsoever.

Now I have more than $2M in assets and a child whose interests I need to protect. If I were to marry again I'd require one, and I'd have no problem signing one for someone with equal or greater assets than I have.

Another widow in similar situation--my children come first and I'd only get married with a prenup.

I am not a widow, but I think if this happened to me, I'd just cohabit/live in sin and not actually remarry.

As for a prenup, I'd only sign it if the other person was loaded and I'd still get a nice sum in a divorce (even if it was way less than half.) I'd never sign something giving away disproportionate income earned during the marriage. No way.

[Anonymous]

Just got married and there was never any question, we got one. I own property and my family has money I am set to inherit.

The one word of warning. It can cost a shitload to get it and I'm still angry at how much it ended up costing (like 6K), especially since we agreed on most everything and could have written the damn thing ourselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wouldn't you each need a lawyer? Seems hard for one lawyer to represent both of you, since the premise of the agreement is you will be separating.

OP here, yes I believe that's correct although most of the fees will be incurred by the lawyer drafting the agreement. I assume the fees for the lawyer advising the other party won't be that much as we're in agreement on the substance of the terms.

Domestic relations lawyer here: this is not true at all. It is labor intensive going through and figuring out what was left out...

Fair enough. Can you provide any ballpark cost estimates for a fairly simple prenupt/marital agreement? Separate finances so we'd keep our own accounts, 401Ks, neither side pays alimony, etc. so it should be fairly straightforward.

Also, any thoughts on how we can reduce legal fees? Our thought was to prepare an itemized list of things and our agreement on them as well as a list of assets for disclosure.

Just posted, but it cost us about $6K to do our prenup which is ludicrous. We ran into a slight change (because I bought a home while we were drafting) and it took forever, even though we were in agreement. Lawyers charge to "think" about your emails. So here's my advice -- be very direct and very specific in any correspondence you send. Provide a draft of what you want yourself and have them add the lawyer-ese. And talk to your partner before hand and make sure you're in agreement before you go to the lawyer.

Also, use an associate instead of a partner. It will be fine and a lot less expensive.