It was great at first, now out of the blue it is NOT the same, What do you think happened?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok.. well.. I met this guy from a friend.. and as soon as we met face to face , he showed much interest, and he invited me out for dinner.. he seemed so fun and goofy texting me the whole time. We went out on two dates .. and he left to Asia.. he would email me every day.. and super sweet like I said.. as soon as he arrived to the US.. he texts me yes.. but that is it.. well.. we were supposed to meet yesterday.. and I noticed him cut and dry in his texts.. so I told him.. you know.. what's up?.. and I thought maybe it is jet lag that is messing with him.. so I said.. lets change plans.. and he was like.. NO NOO.. I don't want to do that to you .. and I insisted.. and after much insisting he agreed.. and that was that

Wait wait wait. So YOU insisted on changing plans? Wha?

So maybe you are misinterpreting texts. Good grief girl. Be specific! How many days was he home before _you_ insisted plans change???

Now it sounds like you jumped the gun here.

Wel.. This is what happened.. he texted me the morning before asking me .. at what time he should stop by.. but all cut and dry.. like.. you could tell he was dragging butt.. and he WAS NOT like that before.. so I could sense he was not in the mood.. and I know Jet Lag is bad.. so I was trying to be considerate of him.. and offered to change plans..

[Anonymous]

Whaaaa?

Okay, first of all, you've only been on two dates with this guy? You are way too obsessed with him. Dd you sleep with him? If so, bad idea, get to know a guy better and longer next time.

Second, how can you tell via a text how he was feeling?? So he offered to come over and you acted all weird and rescheduled? Huh?

How old are you, 24?

[Anonymous]

19:46 here. NOT 20:06.

I think you jumped the gun on thinking he is disinterested. I think it is jetlag or something. The cut and dry on text means nothing. Just relax.

Please stop texting and just have normal old school phone conversations. It really is what is needed here.

Call him. Please just stop this texting stuff. Its even harder to read than email!

Good Luck! And, btw, if you're 24, who cares. Its ok to be young. IM 45 but I remember what its like to be young, unlike some of the bitches on this forum!

[Anonymous]

On this point 20:06 is right- you cant tell someones feeling from a text!!!!!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:where in Asia?

Iraq

seriously? That's not Asia.
So he's in the military?

from ask.com

Is Iraq in Asia?
Answer
Iraq is situated in Middle East Asia where Africa, Asia and Europe meet. Middle East was also known as West Asia and it is an integral part of Asia making Iraq to be in Asia

nonsense. Iraq is in the middle east. If you're going to argue about that, not too much will be served discussing this further.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:19:46 here. NOT 20:06.

I think you jumped the gun on thinking he is disinterested. I think it is jetlag or something. The cut and dry on text means nothing. Just relax.

Please stop texting and just have normal old school phone conversations. It really is what is needed here.

Call him. Please just stop this texting stuff. Its even harder to read than email!

Good Luck! And, btw, if you're 24, who cares. Its ok to be young. IM 45 but I remember what its like to be young, unlike some of the bitches on this forum!

I'm 43, PP - fortunately back when we were in our twenties texting as a primary firm of conversation did not exist.
This guy is away for months and when he gets back he texts instead of calls? That seems to be how it's done these days and I truly don't know how anyone gets beyond a casual level. Regardless, it's possible OP jumped the gun. What do you mean by "cut and dry"? We don't have the benefit of seeing the difference between his prior texts and current ones.

[Anonymous]

He's just not that into you. Sorry.

[Anonymous]

"nonsense. Iraq is in the middle east. If you're going to argue about that, not too much will be served discussing this further. "

What continent is the middle east in? Are you the poster who stated that Mexico is in South America?

[Anonymous]

So people from Iraq call themselves West Asian now? The things you can learn on DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"nonsense. Iraq is in the middle east. If you're going to argue about that, not too much will be served discussing this further. "

What continent is the middle east in? Are you the poster who stated that Mexico is in South America?

I looked this up and see you are correct. Iraq is considered to be part of Western Asia. My apologies.

[Anonymous]

OP - I was the previous poster/international traveler.

I've been working overseas for the last 14+ years and I can tell you that while I am jet lagged and tired for sure, I'm always excited to see the person in my life when I get back- exW when I was married or now the woman I'm involved with (if I'm dating someone at the moment).

so yes, he may be tired but he's just not into you or he lost interest somewhere along the line and doesn't have the guts to tell you.

bottom line, the way I see it, is this - (i) you seemed to have gotten attached a little too quickly, but I get it, (ii) the texting, not calling, even in the modern age of dating, is just a sign of a BETA guy, and (iii) he doesn't have the balls or conviction to be honest with you - you don't want to date a guy like that.

Regardless of how old you may be, there are plenty of great catches out there - despite the naysayers.

[Anonymous]

Of course he's different--because a long-distance relationship is completely different than one in which both people are in the same place. Too early to tell where the in-person relationship is going, probably. Play it cool--you've only been on two dates with the guy, so it's weird to put any pressure on him. Plus, he's just getting back from what could have been a very stressful situation. Be normal, friendly, non-clingy, and let him adjust back to his regular life. If he's interested, he'll pursue you. If not, let him go.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't necessarily say that anything specific actually happened here OP.

It's just that the novelty wore off and reality set in.

I had a wonderful date w/this guy once where everything went splendidly. <---- Yes, I actually just used that word. Lol.

Anyway, the date went on and on and I didn't want it to end. I though about him for the next five days and couldn't wait to see him again.

Well we went out again and the second date was a disaster. I remember thinking to myself perhaps that is when reality sets in....

Anyway, my point being is that during the first date, people tend to be on their utmost bestest behavior EVER.
After that, not so much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:19:46 here. NOT 20:06.

I think you jumped the gun on thinking he is disinterested. I think it is jetlag or something. The cut and dry on text means nothing. Just relax.

Please stop texting and just have normal old school phone conversations. It really is what is needed here.

Call him. Please just stop this texting stuff. Its even harder to read than email!

Good Luck! And, btw, if you're 24, who cares. Its ok to be young. IM 45 but I remember what its like to be young, unlike some of the bitches on this forum!

You are awesome.. loved your comment thank you.. I guess I am not explaining myself correctly..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't necessarily say that anything specific actually happened here OP.

It's just that the novelty wore off and reality set in.

I had a wonderful date w/this guy once where everything went splendidly. <---- Yes, I actually just used that word. Lol.

Anyway, the date went on and on and I didn't want it to end. I though about him for the next five days and couldn't wait to see him again.

Well we went out again and the second date was a disaster. I remember thinking to myself perhaps that is when reality sets in....

Anyway, my point being is that during the first date, people tend to be on their utmost bestest behavior EVER.
After that, not so much.

Very true.. This could very much be the case..