Got a job- 6 months pregnant. Nervous about "the talk" about leave
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Anonymous
I don't think it matters when she asked, because her only leverage was not taking the job, and it sounds like OP was gonna take it no matter what and would not have wanted to risk them going with someone else. It is 6 in one basket or half a dozen in the other on whether she should have negotiated that before starting. OP, I dropped by the HR manager's office one day and said that I would like to schedule a time to talk about maternity leave. He was really receptive about it. If they push back, make a little case for why 12 weeks is in the company's best interest. You will return to work more healed, rested, and ready to tackle work. If you bf, your supply will be more established and you will spend less time pumping overall than women who return to work before 12 weeks. Yeah, I returned to work at 5 weeks, but my head was out of the game for 5 months. Much more so than colleagues who stayed out for 3 months. You don't want to tell them that, but I am illustrating that I am not just making stuff up. |
Anonymous
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OP again.
Thanks for all the perspectives. The timing was not ideal of course and its my first pregnancy so I just was a little too green I think on how to handle everything with this crazy truncated schedule of hiring. I'll work on a plan and also I just plan to really ramp up and kick butt in the next month so that by the time we have the conversation I have a good impression going in. There are also leadership changes happening at the organization so that one of the 2 directors is leaving in may (there was/ is conflict and a new direction for the org) and I know that the few months leading up to that change (which would be my leave) there are a lot of big holes in the schedule- its MUCH busier this semester. So I hope to be able to craft a really detailed plan for what is supposed to be happening those 12 weeks. |
Anonymous
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OP,
Congrats on the job and the baby! Not clear: When are you planning to discuss maternity leave -- in the next month? And what do you mean, a plan for those 12 weeks? What 12 weeks? They may only give you six. I'd have this discussion ASAP. I understand your nervousness. You might not like the outcome. Also, this is obvious, but remember babies come early. Due dates cover two weeks before and two weeks after the majority of babies come. |
Anonymous
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This whats wrong with maternity leave policies in the US. 6 weeks is ridiculous.
OP, I think you should just ask for the 12 weeks. It's pretty standard. They may not give it to you, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't ask or that you should feel bad about asking. And congrats on the new job. |
Anonymous
OP here. I was a little unclear. I want to be able to show them a plan (written/concrete, but flexible based on start date) that I have worked on in part of the "case" I guess for asking for 12 weeks. Is that a good idea? |
Anonymous
| I would not wait to have the discussion. You need to know and they need to know. As a newbie, it's going to be hard to have a plan anyway, even if you wait a month. |
Anonymous
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OP, I agree that you need to comentonthem with a reasonable plan. What childcare are you planning to have? If you come to them and say: I would like a full 10 wks off (unpaid/disability?) then will work part time for 2 wks-- that is better then coming in and saying: what maternity leave can I take?
I would approach your supervisor first. That buyin is key. I took a job and didn't realize I was already 3 months pregnant. They were great to me because my supervisor had my back. I took 10 weeks and then worked 6 wks part time. Worked out really well. |
Anonymous
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You could always phrase your ask like this:
"My ideal leave would be 12 weeks, but I certainly understand if that's not possible - what do you think?" Then go from there. I only took 6 weeks because I was in a new job (hadn't been there a year), and it really wasn't so bad. I had child care lined up and didn't really mind going back to work at that time. New babies are nowhere near as interesting and interactive as older kids, so I didn't feel like I was missing as much then as I am now, for example, when she's a full-fledged little person. 
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Anonymous
| This is why women should just stay out of the workplace, especially if they're pregnant. |
Anonymous
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Don't be afraid to go ahead and ask for what you want and need. You are entitled to FMLA and believe me you will need it. Having a baby and being a first time mom is no vacation and no picnic. Be bold. It's 2013 and people should be used to the idea that woman have babies and can have jobs too.
After you get this all straightened out, start being more vocal and fight for fully paid maternity leave benefits for all in this country. God knows we American woman end have suffered enough being the only westernized country in the world that doesn't offer generous paid leave like other rational, sane countries do. We need to demand this change already so that we don't have to keep agonizing between having a family and the need to work to make a living. |
Anonymous
She is not entitled to FMLA bc you need to have worked there for 12 months before taking leave. |
Anonymous
| Well said PP. OP: I was in your position 6 years ago 5 months pregnant withy second child. After I was hired but before my 1st day on the job, I called my boss and asked for a meeting. I revealed the pregnancy and due date and I can't tell you how relieved I was with the support provided. We were able to iron out necessary work travel, coverage and leave options. I think he appreciated my willingness to put all my cards on the table, which built trust and allowed us to plan. Stop agonizing over it. Start the discussion so everyone can plan, invluding you! You were hired for the long haul, not for 6-12 weeks. |
Anonymous
| OP: It sounds like a great idea to document how you plan to make the 12 weeks work. And absolutely you should ask for that! But they don't need to give you anything more than the leave you have built up since you do not need qualify for FMLA. Someone will have to do your work while you are out and that is a burden to the employer. So make sure you spell out the long term benefit of them accomodating them and please, please, please if they give you the 12 weeks do not change your mind and not go back. It makes it that much more diffcult for the next mom to negotiate. Good Lick and congrats |
Anonymous
| Luck, not lick! |
Anonymous
| Have the conversation about leave with them immediately and tell them that you will work on a plan to make sure that the 12 weeks goes smoothly. |