Patient and therapist......uncomfortable postiion

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am meeting him this morning and am going to tell him I can no longer go. Thanks for the advice.

Why the drama? Just call and cancel then don't schedule another appointment. Issue solved.

This all could just be in your head. By confronting him, you may come off as a crazy loon which he will put in your file. Do the simple thing and just don't go.

Yeah, if you tell him you can't see him anymore because he's so studly, are you hoping he's going to ask you out?

If that's really it, I say, cancel your appointment this week and make a new one with another therapist to discuss your attraction to your old therapist and decide how to proceed

[Anonymous]

A phone call will suffice. No need to go in person to tell him unless you are hoping he'll talk you out of it.

[Anonymous]

Of course, if you end things as his patient, you can then start "seeing" him and play out your wishes. (Is there a grace-period for this?)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Of course, if you end things as his patient, you can then start "seeing" him and play out your wishes. (Is there a grace-period for this?)

Therapist here. In most states, two years - though arguably, any sexual contact btwn therapist and client during or after treatment is unethical. This is the primary reason why therapists lose their liscenses.

[Anonymous]

I'm not convinced this therapist is coming on to OP. What evidence is there?

OP--what "suggestive comments" has this therapist said? Word for word what did he say? All we're going on is your perception that he is "looking through you" and "eyes sometimes go to other places."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not convinced this therapist is coming on to OP. What evidence is there?

OP--what "suggestive comments" has this therapist said? Word for word what did he say? All we're going on is your perception that he is "looking through you" and "eyes sometimes go to other places."

This is what I was thinking too. OP, the most helpful thing might be for you to bring it up with him. See what he says and have a conversation about it. You might learn something very important about yourself and how you interact with others!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not convinced this therapist is coming on to OP. What evidence is there?

OP--what "suggestive comments" has this therapist said? Word for word what did he say? All we're going on is your perception that he is "looking through you" and "eyes sometimes go to other places."

This is what I was thinking too. OP, the most helpful thing might be for you to bring it up with him. See what he says and have a conversation about it. You might learn something very important about yourself and how you interact with others!

On the flip side what reason do you have to doubt OP, since she seems to have purposefully NOT shared exactly what he said?

OP, this is one of the rare situations where your perception is like 90+% the most important factor. If you feel he was coming on to you and that therapy is compromised, get out, cancel, get a new therapist, and if you have lingering questions about whether your old therapist really was coming on to you or something else was happening, talk to your new therapist about it.

Too many risks involved with talking to your current one about whether he is coming on or not. Just move on.

[Anonymous]

OP here. OK here are a few examples and no its not my exaggeration.

One thing he said is that he is not married anymore that he "outgrew" his wife after we had a long talk about when people outgrow each other and that hes looking for someone very different at this point in his life , and finds me very sexy. Is that appropriate?

He compliments me all the time, like i love your dress, or your hair looks beautiful, or your skin is glowing,etc....

Need I say more?

[Anonymous]

Oh and.....that "my husband would be a fool to not want to make love to me every single day"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The thing is I am not sure I want to stop seeing him, crazy huh! I think I have a bit of a crush on him truth be told and i read this is not at all uncommon. But seeing that he is divorced and obviously finds me attractive too, its sounds like a recipe for disaster now that we both know how we feel about each other, more or less.

So sounds like I need to terminate it? I know the right thing to do but its hard. What do I tell him?

Just get a female. Done.

[Anonymous]

Wow, ok. OP, I am the one who suggested maybe you ought to talk to him about it. Now that you've told us exactly what he said - no, I don't think that is a good idea at all. I would terminate over the phone just like the other PPs said. What he said to you is absolutely not acceptable!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. OK here are a few examples and no its not my exaggeration.

One thing he said is that he is not married anymore that he "outgrew" his wife after we had a long talk about when people outgrow each other and that hes looking for someone very different at this point in his life , and finds me very sexy. Is that appropriate?

He compliments me all the time, like i love your dress, or your hair looks beautiful, or your skin is glowing,etc....

Need I say more?

19:52 here:
Yup, that's someone coming on to you.

I posted it because the therapeutic relationship is incredibly intimate, and it's not uncommon for the patient to have a misperception about the way a therapist feels about him/her. I trust you have cancelled the next appointment.

[Anonymous]

Yeah don't bother seeing him. Just cancel and move on.

But it seems like you want it, so go for if and let it explode in your face.

[Anonymous]

Yep for a therapist he's a bad one and an unethical one and sounds like a jerk anyway. Outgrew his wife...probably was busy screwing around w his patients. I doubt you're the only one hrs buttering up OP, don't be an easy target. You'll regret it. Find a real therapist if you want therapy.

[Anonymous]

OMG OP this therapist is unprofessional. Throw cold water on your crush. He is trouble! Find a new one!

There are duds out there. I saw a therapist when my marriage was dissolving, I went with my now ex, and I swear, in front of him this therapist said to my now ex, "Are you sure you want to break up with this lovely woman? Because a lot of men were going to want to sleep with her."It was so off. It turned out he was coming on to women clients and he got in big trouble (many of his clients came through a largish employer, and HR found out) and I believe lost his license.