Patient and therapist......uncomfortable postiion

[Anonymous]

I think my therapist is coming on to me, its very strange, he is a great therapist and I have seen him about 3 months but he is always looking through me and his eyes sometimes go to other places, he has made suggestive comments too. The thing is in my therapy session is confused to him that I found him attractive when he was asking me if I ever found other men attractive, the reason I went to therapy is because I wasn't sure if I love my H anymore and this is what made him ask me this. So he might have felt like my saying that was an invitation for him to come onto me, not sure. I was using him as an example but yes I do find him very attractive, he is really good looking but I wasn't saying I want to jump his bones or anything!~

So now this whole therapy thing feels compromised. A lot of this happened our last session, and now I am feeling two things turned on that he is attracted to me but nervous about if something were to happen and not sure if even going to him for therapy can work now. Please help and give me some much needed advice.

[Anonymous]

It seems glaringly obvious that you should terminate your relationship with this therapist and seek out a new one (perhaps a female).

[Anonymous]

This is funny to me because my therapist always has young hot women as his patients. Isn't there a movie about that?

[Anonymous]

Time to move on, OP. Find a female therapist. All therapy involves transference, but in your case it's becoming counterproductive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Time to move on, OP. Find a female therapist. All therapy involves transference, but in your case it's becoming counterproductive.

+1 He is highly unethical. Find a female therapist if you feel vunerable to male attention.

[Anonymous]

Well OP, personally if I were having marital woes and had a hot therapist, that would be the best medicine ever!! But hey...That is just me. Lol.

Anyway, as your therapist, if he is truly coming on to you, this is not a good thing. Number one, he is overstepping his professional boundaries and could lose his license to practice due to his unethical actions and number two, if he is acting this way toward you, then he most likely is acting this way toward his other female clients/patients.

If you really are intent on working things out w/your husband, then obviously there is a true conflict of interests here and you need to stop seeing him ASAP. However, if you think there could be something between you and him, then why not see where this goes? I would keep things on the down low at first since he could get in trouble.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Everyone is spot on. Its not what you want to hear maybe, but you have to stop seeing your hot therapist!

YOu will feel so much better once you terminate the relationship and seek a non hot therapist. SHould not be diffiicult!

[Anonymous]

The thing is I am not sure I want to stop seeing him, crazy huh! I think I have a bit of a crush on him truth be told and i read this is not at all uncommon. But seeing that he is divorced and obviously finds me attractive too, its sounds like a recipe for disaster now that we both know how we feel about each other, more or less.

So sounds like I need to terminate it? I know the right thing to do but its hard. What do I tell him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The thing is I am not sure I want to stop seeing him, crazy huh! I think I have a bit of a crush on him truth be told and i read this is not at all uncommon. But seeing that he is divorced and obviously finds me attractive too, its sounds like a recipe for disaster now that we both know how we feel about each other, more or less.

So sounds like I need to terminate it? I know the right thing to do but its hard. What do I tell him?

OP, it is absolutely unethical (and illegal) for a therapist to be coming on to you. Would you really want to be in relationship w/ someone like this?

Yes, you do need to terminate the relationship. Just tell him you're not coming back and leave it at that. Move on.

[Anonymous]

You don't have to tell him anything, just stop scheduling appointments.

[Anonymous]

OP, there is NOTHING you can say to your therapist AS HIS PATIENT that he should interpret as an invitation for him to come on to you.

You need to ask him to refer you to someone else,effective immediately. You should not go back. You should tell him why.

[Anonymous]

I am meeting him this morning and am going to tell him I can no longer go. Thanks for the advice.

[Anonymous]

I do think the therapy is compromised and you need to move on. I also developed a very real crush on my male therapist a few years ago. I was also in there due to some marriage issues. I would look forward to my appointments and think about him all the time. I was very embarrassed about feeling this way and did not tell anyone. From what I have read, this can be fairly common given that you are sitting in a room with him spilling your darkest secrets and he listens without judging (while at the same time you are unhappy with your husband). I never let the therapist know and he was always very professional, but I found it so distracting that I decided to quit therapy with him and start with a female therapist. My therapy sessions with my new therapist were much more productive because I was focused on the issues at hand.

[Anonymous]

Why are you meeting him this morning. Just call and cancel the appointment. I think you are going to tell him person because you want something to happen between you two. The smart thing to do would be to cancel the appointment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am meeting him this morning and am going to tell him I can no longer go. Thanks for the advice.

Why the drama? Just call and cancel then don't schedule another appointment. Issue solved.

This all could just be in your head. By confronting him, you may come off as a crazy loon which he will put in your file. Do the simple thing and just don't go.