The Stress of it all

[Anonymous]

It's just very stressful. For many kids, this is the first time they're being evaluated on their own merits. Plus, many kids have unrealistic ideas about how this will determine their whole futures.

You are probably already be doing these things. But
- try to discourage your kid from fixating on one or two schools. Tell him there are lots of great colleges where your kid will be very happy and get a great education.
- tell your kid to avoid much of the school gossip about who is applying where. If he doesn't tell everyone that Princeton is his first choice, then he won't have to be embarassed if Princeton rejects him. And it's a kindness to his classmates if he doesn't know the details about their results, either.

[Anonymous]

My DC will probably apply ED but we are also requiring him to submit at least 2-3 other applications at the same time (or just after - Nov 1 is a day off school so it will be application submission day.). One will be an EA safety school, the others will be the next 2 choices. The ED school is a reach so we want to make sure that his applications for his next choices are done while he's in a positive frame of mind rather than between Dec 15-31. If he does get in ED then we can pull the apps and have only lost $65-70 for each.

For my older DC I'd say the stress lightened in the visiting stage when we visited a solid safety and he really liked it. So he knew he'd likely end up somewhere that he'd be happy going. Not everyone finds that though.

Don't transfer your stress or your hopes about particular schools to your kid. Hard to do, but makes a difference.

[Anonymous]

FWIW (and maybe nothing), occasional reminders that COLLEGE is great -- you get to be on your own but without many of the pressures of that (e.g. earning a living, cooking your own meals), you get to choose what you study and have more control over your schedule, you'll be surrounded by kids your own age and a large enough group that there will be more people who share your interests. And when you make friends, they all live nearby. Gyms and libraries are open late, etc. And when you come home for visits we'll be obviously delighted to see you!

Doesn't matter which college -- it's a great time in your life. Which college you go to -- that's a detail.