Should I talk to my best friend?
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Anonymous
| You sound jealous OP. The nip and tuck comment, how beautiful she is, has nothing to do with your story yet you put that in there. |
Anonymous
It was an interesting piece of info, and it colored the story in a good way. I appreciate it. |
Anonymous
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I would say if shes really your best friend and you genuinely feel like she has or is changing, there is nothing wrong with talking about as friend do. True friends like a marriage weather bad and good times and honesty is paramount to the relationship If you find you are increasingly bothered then I would say get it off your chest but be a diplomat and be sure you are kind and gentle with your words all the time reminding how happy you are for her. Maybe she does not fully understand to what extent she is bragging or boasting, being its a new lifestyle for her and you talking to her is a good friends way of giving her a gentle "reality check".
I am sure being friends as long as you have been, your friendship will come out even stronger. |
Anonymous
Friendship is a two-way street. I think this friend deserves to know she's alienating her friend with her comments. Look at the number of threads on here about "I l was dumped by a friend and don't know why and it still upsets me years later." The vast majority of the comments there say people deserve to know. Just like in other relationships, communication is the key. If she was doing or saying other out of touch comments, we'd all be OK with letting someone know they're out of touch. Why is it because this is about money that we can't say, "holy hell, why would I have anything to add about a house in the Caymans conversation?" |
Anonymous
By saying shes beautiful means OP is jealous? How do you make that deduction? She is just giving us all aspects to the story and explaining a bit of background and how she "reinvented" and improved herself, hardly means OP is jealous. True friends honestly should be able to talk about anything, if she was your sister you would talk to her, right? There's you answer. |
Anonymous
Opposite. I didn't think she same across as jealous, rather just giving us some insight. |
Anonymous
| Friends change, friendship is a connection but shared experiences and values are part of the mix. It sounds like this woman's values are shifting. She into conspicuous consumption AND she seems insensitive to how this might play with others who are not in the same position. If OP can't go with the flow, she should retreat. Possible scenario: If OP said anything, her friend would tell her husband and they'd bond about how people without money just do not understand! |
Anonymous
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Good for you OP for admitting to feeling a tad bit jealous. I mean, who wouldn't??!
But I see your point. It's not that you are feeling inferior to her. She just is changing and you want your old, humble friend back. Unfortunately money tends to change people..Perhaps she doesn't even realize this. You CAN tactfully discuss it w/her, tread carefully however. Let her know you truly value your loving friendship and how it has endured over the years. Gently let her know that she just seems a "little" different lately....Perhaps because of her money situation. Be as diplomatic as you can be w/out stepping on her toes. If she gets offended and/or accuses you of being jealous, then she really is superficial and you are much better off w/out her in your life as hard as that may be to accept. My hope is that she will realize the error of her ways and apologize for everything and go back to the friend she always has been. Hope this helps. |