| Looks like the over the top birthday parties won't cut it here. |
| I was separated from my mom when I was born, so I have no memories of her growing up |
| Benign neglect and she made sure than money was not the only reason we didn't do something that otherwise was good for us. |
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My mother gave me my love of reading, and therefore the ability to think and write well. I was in the library as soon as I could walk and grew up reading like a fish. I didn't realize what a concerted effort she was making at the time (of course) but as a parent now I do and it was a real gift.
Also, once she took the three kids out for dinner when Dad was away and said we could have ice cream for dinner. We had sundaes and that was it! As an adult I realize that was probably a day when she was at her wits end, but as a kid I though it was THE COOLEST THING EVER!!!
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| A small detail, but on winter mornings, my mom would put our clothes in the dryer for a few minutes so they would be nice and toasty when we got dressed. |
Whoa! Are you my sister? With the exception of the grade taught (6th-7th for my mom), I feel like we had the exact same mother. I was always so mad at her because I thought she was letting life get away from her. Now, as a mother, I know that all that time spent just being there with us was what she was supposed to be doing. |
Me too! Best thing is that she is now doing for my DC what my grandmom did for me -- spending the summer with them... My kid practically did not want to come home -- and I am so grateful for the memories they made together |
| Can't think of anything special and I am an only child. I worked hard for 24 years so my kids would not have the same experience. |
The warm and fuzzy stuff with your small kids won't make them have a better relationship with you when they're adults. It's just hard to be an adult and then live with a parent: there are power issues and you do things your own way and so on. Probably the best thing you can do is write down, now, the things your mom does/did that made you crazy so that you can remember not to do them in 20 years. I don't mean "Gah she loads the dishwasher wrong," but what's really behind it. For me, it's that my mom tends to hear what she wants to hear rather than what I say, see what she wants to even if that's not reality. But I like your idea of using warm fuzzy memories to get back to liking your mom. My mom wanted us to have and do everything that she wasn't able to as a kid, especially travel. So as a family we traveled all over the US and some of Europe; she sent us to camps and study abroad programs. We were not rich: she worked really hard, nights and weekends, to afford it. Sometimes it seemed extravagant compared to what my peers were doing, but I have all these amazing memories of family trips. And while I was studying abroad in college, she couldn't stand that I was gone at Christmas so she came out -- alone, even though she'd never traveled alone -- and we went to Italy together before my winter break ended, just the two of us. It was great. |
Wow. Maybe you can suggest what not to do. |
| I don't have many good memories from my mother. She was a person who had so many issues she was unable to get beyond them and be there for me and my sister in the way a parent needs to be. But I like this thread -it's giving me some good ideas! |
| I remember my mom would come to my room early mornings and pulling warm covers over me...still warms my heart. |
| I remember waking up one Saint Patrick's day when I was young and finding that our milk had been turned green. My mom put on a huge show and said the leprechauns must have done it. I remember being soooo excited about it. She was the same way with all the other holidays. Now even though I'm 24, she still puts presents under the tree on Christmas and makes them from Santa. |
| When mom went back to college, she would bring half of her sandwich back from lunch and she would end up giving it to me. . it made me feel special like she brought a treat, it was only half of her lunch she was going to save for the next day but she gave it to me instead. |
| Superman on the bed (holding me up with her feet on my stomach); booger fights with me and my brothers (it is exactly what you think it is) -- so gross and we laughed so hard; licking the spoon when making cakes. |