MIL upset with the 1st BD invite

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hope this isn't real. What you did was thoughtless and rude. Of COURSE your MIL was upset. It is not customary to write "thank yous" to other people on birthday invites, so your MIL thinks that you did this to spite her, and honestly, it sounds like she's right.

And I say this as someone who has a fairly strained relationship with my own MIL.

You need to apologize to your MIL and her husband.

+1

OP, you not only bean-count, you do so publicly.

Huge gaffe, you owe apologies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One more thing (and I'm truly sorry to be piling on you, OP, along with everyone else!) - reaching the 1st birthday or your 2nd child is really not such a milestone. The 'helping you out' stuff is way overboard in your mind ... what you're describing is more what you'd expect from someone going through chemotherapy or grieving or something. As much as your MIL and step FIL may not be very nice people, they certainly shouldn't expect that you need extra help because you have a 3 and 1 year old and a marriage to uphold. That's just called regular living to everyone else.

Amen!!!

[Anonymous]

Gotta agree with the PPs. Even if you are keeping score among your family members according to who is most useful to you and who gives the best presents, to have actually said this in an invitation to a (grand)child's first birthday party is insensitive and gauche. At worst, you should apologize to your husband and make a point of thanking everyone at the party. At best, you should apologize to your MIL and the other members of your family you left off your thank you list. At very best, you should stop keeping score.

[Anonymous]

This can't be a real post.

[Anonymous]

WTF did I just read? Honestly, OP, you sound like a mess and entirely too self-absorbed. You haven't done anything saintly by surviving your marriage and kids up to this point. You sound bitter at your MIL - for what, really, I don't know because it seems like they still come visit, like your kids, etc - and writing what you did on the invitation was a very strange and passive-aggressive move.

[Anonymous]

That was just a horrible thing to do. And you did it intentionally. Not sure you'll ever be able to repair the damage you caused.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hope this isn't real. What you did was thoughtless and rude. Of COURSE your MIL was upset. It is not customary to write "thank yous" to other people on birthday invites, so your MIL thinks that you did this to spite her, and honestly, it sounds like she's right.

And I say this as someone who has a fairly strained relationship with my own MIL.

You need to apologize to your MIL and her husband.

I agree. It sounds to me like you are very entitled. Who thanks people in a birthday invitation? Of course others who aren't mentioned will be put off!

[Anonymous]

Uh oh, OP. You stepped in it

Your MIL might be unreasonable, but this one is totally your fault.

[Anonymous]

Someone contact Jeff and let him know we have a consensus!

[Anonymous]

I'm waiting for OP to thank almost all of you by name for this helpful feedback, while leaving one of you noticeably out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm waiting for OP to thank almost all of you by name for this helpful feedback, while leaving one of you noticeably out.

Here's $5, OP. Remember that when it's time for your next thank you/invitation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:High Maintenance DCUM Princess Syndrome.

Exactly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think what you did was pretty insensitive. Sorry.

Plus 1. Perhaps you knew this on some level, and wanted to piss her off?

[Anonymous]

OP, you just made a huge mistake. An bday invite is just that...an invitation to celebrate someone's birthday. That is all it is supposed to be.

If you want to thank certain people in your life then you need to write them heartfelt thank-you notes. Your husband is right to be pissed as is your MIL.

As someone else said, what you've described is normal living for most people. We deal b/c we have the coping skills to do so. It sounds like it's time for you to learn some new coping skills as well as social graces.

[Anonymous]

Ridiculous on so many levels. Of course the invitation. But also, why the hell do you expect so much help from others (and punish those who don't give you money and take care if your kids for you)?? Your family, your responsibility.