heading into middle school, what do you wish you had known or wish you had done?

[Anonymous]

Another mom with boys. Older ones in college and one heading into MS. I love them all, but they all need serious help with hygiene. Sometimes it takes too well and you have to back them off the hour long showers and bottles of Axe. However, I consider it a service to their future partners and employers.

[Anonymous]

I think the hour long showers are about something else.

[Anonymous]

I agree with the hygiene stuff - especially boys. Also - grades don't count yet so help them get organized, but let them fail from time to time - if you over manage you will have a mess to deal with come high school. Help them to become as independent as possible, encourage them to try new things, get involved in activities that interest them and teach them how to navigate the petty social stuff with their friends. All of these things boost confidence.

[Anonymous]

Listen to them when they talk to you. Even if they go on and on about a show they watched. Later you will be glad.

[Anonymous]

Just remember that your middle school child is a work in progress. The awkwardness, obliviousness, self-absorption you see in MS doesn't predict how your child will be in adulthood, or even high school. Keep repeating "this too shall pass."

[Anonymous]

Middle school teacher here. This is all great advice. The hygiene issues are a serious problem, especially with boys but also with girls. They do not know how to "study" yet and need to be taught, but it would be helpful for it to be reinforced at home.

I remember hating middle school as a child. At that age everyone is so concerned about what others think of them, and I think there are more bullies than any other times (of general education). I try to instill positive values in my students as much as possible, but it has to start from home. There are always students who are looking to hurt someone, and it detracts from the class as a whole.

[Anonymous]

Think of middle school as prep for high school. Grades don't "count" yet, so make sure they learn how to study, be responsible for homework, be responsible for their own actions so that when they get to a place it does count, they're ready for it. So if they refuse to pack a backpack at night and then forget their homework, don't always bring it to them. Or if they phone it in with standardized tests one year and then don't get placed in the "highest" English class with their friends the next year, resist the urge to call the school to explain and try to get a switch.

It's hard for a 6th grader to think 3 yrs ahead, but see if they can think about one sport or activity they'd like to do in HS. Middle school often offers sports that elementary doesn't and that often aren't community sports like basketball or baseball or soccer; so if they think they'd like to do tennis or track down the road, have them do it for a yr or two in middle school. If they change their mind, they will still have been active and made friends. But if they end up sticking with it, it will be that much easier to get on a frosh or JV team in high school.