Facebook and Sil

[Anonymous]

Just block her from seeing your pictures. Problem solved.

[Anonymous]

Create a "kids" album that she cannot see. Post the majority there and maybe a couple here and there on your wall. Or just don't let her tag herself. Really, DH feels bad? It's YOUR Facebook. Do what you want.

[Anonymous]

My dad does this (tags himself in my family photos). I just untag him. Problem solved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here - I have a setting where I get informed about tags - problem is she complains to DH if not allowed to identify my child as "belonging" to her... He feels bad (?) for her and wants me to allow her, which is why I think I'm going to start blocking her on most photos..:

"DH, who's feelings are more important with regard to our child and her online presence? Mine or your sister's? I realize you don't want her to be disappointed, but she really shouldn't get a say in our parenting decisions, and I would appreciate your support."

Your SIL is a piece of work.

[Anonymous]

Maybe it's me but OP sounds neurotic. Who cares about photos..seriously stop being paranoid. If SIL loves your kids and is proud to be an aunt and loves her brother that is great. My guess is we have two controlling ladies you guys should just fight it out. Yawnnn

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe it's me but OP sounds neurotic. Who cares about photos..seriously stop being paranoid. If SIL loves your kids and is proud to be an aunt and loves her brother that is great. My guess is we have two controlling ladies you guys should just fight it out. Yawnnn

I am solidly in the camp of not being super paranoid about online pictures, but I do feel that it's inappropriate for someone to tag themselves in pictures of other people's children that they are not in. It's even more inappropriate for a grown woman to get upset when asked not to do that.

OP, your sister in law sounds like she has some boundary issues. You can combat that by having firm boundaries yourself.

[Anonymous]

Block her from pics and then tell her why if she asks. If she gets in a snit, so what.

Betsy: Did you block me from seeing pics on your fb?

You: Yes, because I repeatedly explained to you about my feelings on keeping pics of my kids private, but you disregarded them.

Betsy: But it is not any big deal! I trust my friends you should too.

You: Once again this has nothing to do do with trusting you or your friends, it is about my children's privacy. You have your opinion on this issue and I have mine.

[Anonymous]

If the tags and privacy issue bother you then yeah change your settings or un-tag her, so she can't publicize the pics.

Aside from that - she gushes about the kids and says your DH is a wondeful father - that's 'trying to get to you'? Saying nice complimentary things on fb about your family, your dh, the children, that's not 'petty' or 'trying to get to you' IMO. Sounds like she loves her brother and his family.

I wouldn't block her, just fix the picture settings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Block her from pics and then tell her why if she asks. If she gets in a snit, so what.

Betsy: Did you block me from seeing pics on your fb?

You: Yes, because I repeatedly explained to you about my feelings on keeping pics of my kids private, but you disregarded them.

Betsy: But it is not any big deal! I trust my friends you should too.

You: Once again this has nothing to do do with trusting you or your friends, it is about my children's privacy. You have your opinion on this issue and I have mine.

+1

This is really between you and your DH, anyway. What is his problem that he can't see that your concern for the privacy of your kids outweighs SIL's ego trip?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here - I have a setting where I get informed about tags - problem is she complains to DH if not allowed to identify my child as "belonging" to her... He feels bad (?) for her and wants me to allow her, which is why I think I'm going to start blocking her on most photos..:

This is not your problem. Repeat: This is not your problem. Your only problem is your husband not backing you up on this.

[Anonymous]

This wouldn't bother me at all.

You're lucking you have a SIL that loves your kids so much.

Chill out.

[Anonymous]

I don't think its abnormal to post pics... especially if you're comfortable with it, but why not just "unfriend" her? That way, she won't have access and she won't even know you unfriended her.

Sounds to me like she might be jealous. Plus, your kids are probably something she's proud of, especially since she doesn't have her own. And she probably thinks it makes her look good to praise other family members so much, so for her, its self serving to tag and do write ups. And in her mind, it might be a way to get at you, especially since she was offended when you asked her not to tag.

Also, why not stop posting pics of her with your kids? That'll solve the tagging of herself, but may not stop her from tagging your kids.

Talking to her obviously in not an option. You know, someone said to me once, "it is a whole lot easier to change what you so than it is to change what someone else does."

Boy, that changed my life.

[Anonymous]

OP, your sister in law sounds like she has some boundary issues. You can combat that by having firm boundaries yourself.

This. OP, I too have a crazy SIL who is territorial with my child. I maintain 100% consistency with her about my boundaries, I'm nice but firm, and I don't ever, ever let her see me waver in a decision. Obviously your DH should be on board about the FB business (and no, solution is not for you to stop posting pics just bc SIL is nuts), but if he just dodges the fray, agree with above PP. Block her from your feed, or untag her, or whatever. And if she brings the conversation to you, just shut it down nicely. End of story.

[Anonymous]

Yes, set boundaries and stick to them. It really looks as if this woman is lonely, wants a family and immaturely thinks children are like accessories. She will never understand until she has children herself, and even then...
Don't be afraid of putting your foot down - it's your job as a mother!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think its abnormal to post pics... especially if you're comfortable with it, but why not just "unfriend" her? That way, she won't have access and she won't even know you unfriended her.

Sounds to me like she might be jealous. Plus, your kids are probably something she's proud of, especially since she doesn't have her own. And she probably thinks it makes her look good to praise other family members so much, so for her, its self serving to tag and do write ups. And in her mind, it might be a way to get at you, especially since she was offended when you asked her not to tag.

Also, why not stop posting pics of her with your kids? That'll solve the tagging of herself, but may not stop her from tagging your kids.

Talking to her obviously in not an option. You know, someone said to me once, "it is a whole lot easier to change what you so than it is to change what someone else does."

Boy, that changed my life.

Well unfriending would cause a whole new level of drama don't you think? Also, OP said she's tagging herself in pictures of JUST her kids. SIL is not in the photos but she still tags herself in them. It's weird.