Issuing parents an ultimatum

[Anonymous]

1305++

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:FWIW, it's not really an uncle. It's a drug addicted, mentally unstable, manipulative, physically violent and prone to breaking the law, sibling.

I thought this might be a possibility and I think its an entirely different can of worms depending on who the dangerous person is- its their child, right? If it is your sibling?

I have no advice on this and I've never been through it so I think that its hard to have a real opinion, but I am sorry you are dealing with this. Maybe instead of 1 big dramatic talk, you could start a series of talks on the subject, when it gets heated you can agree to all say good bye for the day and revisit it again in a couple of days? See how you can help them to set boundaries for themselves, assuming that's what they want to do, approach it from the same "team"?

[Anonymous]

They chose him when they did not protect you in your childhood. They will be making that same choice again and again.
It is painful but you don't owe them anything if they get in trouble due to their choice.

[Anonymous]

Wow, I really empathize with you, OP. A very difficult situation.

I suspect that, bottom line, you may end up at the least having to step in and support your parents financially if their relationship with your sibling continues, and that's a worry lurking in the back of your mind. I agree with other posters that you have to be careful about boundaries, though, in handling this issue.

That said, there's no easy solution here. I recommend consulting a very highly-recommended family therapist & perhaps a lawyer, as well. Not because I think there's anything wrong with you! -but because these professionals have supported clients dealing with similar situations, and they might be able to provide you with helpful counsel. Good luck!