Did my SIL overreact?

[Anonymous]

The irony is that BIL NEVER responds to my DH, which does annoy him but which he chalks up to BIL being, you guessed it, busy! Most likely it's just because BIL doesn't prioritize DH's emails since it's his little brother and he knows to an extent he can get away with it, whereas other people may not put up with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:lol...no, I am a nice person, usually anyway! And I did apologize to her, profusely and in a text and an email back. I don't really think "overreact" is the right word. I wasn't surprised she was annoyed at me, but I was surprised she'd think she offended me and my way of handling that would be not to respond to her. But maybe she was really just trying to communicate she thought it was rude without saying that directly, which is what my friends would do if/when I didn't get back to them in a timely manner.

Awesome - she doesn't call you out for being a an inconsiderate bitch, and you imply that she's being passive aggressive.

And OP - "I'm so flaky" translates to the rest of us as "I'm so self-absorbed that I feel basic courtesies to others aren't necessary."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The irony is that BIL NEVER responds to my DH, which does annoy him but which he chalks up to BIL being, you guessed it, busy! Most likely it's just because BIL doesn't prioritize DH's emails since it's his little brother and he knows to an extent he can get away with it, whereas other people may not put up with it.

Look in the mirror, honey.

[Anonymous]

You know, phones also work for voice communication. If I got a text like the one your SIL sent, I would have immediately hit "call" and bent over backward to apologize for being a complete, selfish ass.

If you have time to read a text, you have time to respond.

I think you need to do something very nice for your very patient SIL.

[Anonymous]

Let me get this straight. You are offended at the fact that your SIL is concerned she has offended you. She really can't please you, can she.

[Anonymous]

Personally I would have called after getting her text just to apologize and of course answer the questions.

[Anonymous]

I don't care if you are as flaky as the Pilsbury Dough Boy. Labeling yourself flaky doesn't give you an excuse to not function in society in a polite manner. Flaky is just another word for glassbowl. You couldn't respond to 2 simple, direct questions from a family member with whom you are close enough to have been invited over to stay? You are basically a jerk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Take this as a lesson learned and try not to be so flaky. It does come across very rude if someone asks you a specific question (especially something like..what would you like me to do with the shoes?) and you ignore them. Especially when you do it twice close together.

So try harder next time to actually respond.

I will! Believe me this is the last time I don't respond to her right away!

No, she didn't overreact at all, but it seems you have. You don't have to respond "right away," just respond, period, in a timely fashion.

[Anonymous]

You were wrong. Apologize profusely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Personally I would have called after getting her text just to apologize and of course answer the questions.

. Yup.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The irony is that BIL NEVER responds to my DH, which does annoy him but which he chalks up to BIL being, you guessed it, busy! Most likely it's just because BIL doesn't prioritize DH's emails since it's his little brother and he knows to an extent he can get away with it, whereas other people may not put up with it.

Look in the mirror, honey.

I know haha. OP's lack of self awareness is amazing.

[Anonymous]

Well, I have apologized profusely. In three separate emails. Does no one else ever make mistakes like this? I am very self aware, thanks PP. I was just surprised she'd think I was offended by her and that if I was offended by her that this is the action I'd take.

I guess I'm also surprised that no one on here ever fucks up and doesn't return someone's calls or emails in a timely fashion. I usually do text her right back (not that any of you will believe that now) but this time I didn't. I am sorry and I did apologize. I'm not a jerk! Sometimes it amazes me what people think they can infer on here though one post.

And please I know, I already know you think I'm a spoiled, entitled, self-absorbed, myopic bitch who is horrible to my family, so no need to continue to pile on.

[Anonymous]

OP, your attempt to analyze a simple text from your SIL is just odd..and then to post this on here. you sound like you WANT to make an issue with her, which makes me think that your lack of response to her is probably passive aggressive in nature. Did you even THANK her after staying at her place?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, your attempt to analyze a simple text from your SIL is just odd..and then to post this on here. you sound like you WANT to make an issue with her, which makes me think that your lack of response to her is probably passive aggressive in nature. Did you even THANK her after staying at her place?

Of course not! I also made sure to trash my room, leave the toilet unflushed, insult her cooking, and talk mean to her kids.

Oh, and I cut the tail off her dog too!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The irony is that BIL NEVER responds to my DH, which does annoy him but which he chalks up to BIL being, you guessed it, busy! Most likely it's just because BIL doesn't prioritize DH's emails since it's his little brother and he knows to an extent he can get away with it, whereas other people may not put up with it.

Look in the mirror, honey.

I know haha. OP's lack of self awareness is amazing.

For God's sake that's why I said, "The irony is...." It's ironic that I'm now in trouble for doing something to SIL that my DH's brother does to him all the time without it causing a ruckus. AND YES I should have prioritized my SIL's email and text and I didn't...I'm including myself in the analysis that often I think people do slack with family because they know, consciously or not, that they can get away with it (to a greater extent than with business contacts or your kid's teacher etc....)

And I'm not trying to be passive aggressive or start something with her! I was just surprised that she would think my not responding to one text and one email had any deeper meaning than carelessness.

And are you all seriously telling me you've never not responded to an in-law? You always jump right up when your MIL calls? LOL Doubt it!