Manners with Grandparents/ How are your kids on the phone?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you need to coach both sides. Ask your daughter to share 3-4 things she did in school that week -- a painting from art class, her Flat Stanley journal, the song they're learning in music, the worm she dug up for science, the goal she scored in soccer, etc. Having specific things to discuss about is probably easier than expecting a 7 y.o. to make small talk. And if she wants to be silly, great -- just help her be silly for the camera instead of careening around the room being annoying (which is what my 7 yo also does on grandparental skype calls). Funny faces, adjusting the camera so they can see her standing on her head, telling knock-knock jokes...

On the grandparent side, they need to step up their game and have the right sort of conversation. A generic "What did you do in school today?" isn't going to get the same response as "Did you finish the pot you were painting in Art?" Or get a book they can take turns reading to each other -- GPs on one screen, daughter on the other. Again, it's not going to be 30 minutes of quality conversation the way they practice it with adults.

OP, the post above is absolutely right. Make sure the grandparents are asking specific questions, not general ones, or be ready yourself to steer things toward the specific: Grandparent says, What did you do at school this week? And you gently say to your child, "What about the school play you're starting--?" Prompt specifics.

I would add, if your child is going to talk about Flat Stanley or some art she did or something like that, prepare in advance and have those items right there by the computer. Sell it to your daughter like it's a fun show-and-tell time.

Also, teach her -- and this takes time and patience -- to ask THEM questions too, and to at least try to listen to the answers. If grandma is a champion card player, talk to daughter about that in advance and prompt her to ask Grandma about her card game with friends this week. If Grandpa gardens, talk with daughter about it and see if she would like to ask him to show her via Skype the biggest carrot he's grown, the prettiest flower etc. Work with the grandparents so they too bring stuff to show. You have the advantage of images -- use it on both sides.

Once she warms up to this, or when she's a bit older, you might see if she wants to interview them via Skype and make a scrapbook about them etc.