Friend's daughter attacked on school bus--what to do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:she doesn't have access. that's my point. she doesn't have access, won't get it, and is meddling where she should not. and posting HERE about it for some reason. that's just nuts. and unbelievably inappropriate.

Calling attention to bullying behavior is never inappropriate. Shine a light on that shit whenever you can, whether it's your kid or not. That's the only way it stops.

[Anonymous]

OP here. My friend is not from this country and doesn't always know exactly what resources are available to her. My children are younger, so I've not had personal experience with this sort of bullying, nor do I live in MoCo.

I'm trying to help point her in the right direction; my personal involvement ends with the recommendations I pass on to her.

Thanks to all who have offered helpful suggestions.

[Anonymous]

OP, if you can access the facebook page, I would absolutely make copies of the facebook page, pictures and videos for your friend. Then, make a back-up copy just in case. Beyond going to the police, principal and school board to make a big stink, there isn't much she can do. They could possibly ask to have the child go to a different school next year due to the attack. You are a great friend for trying to help. Do everything you can for your friend and her child. No child should have to go through that.

[Anonymous]

Well gosh, next time a friend asks me for help I know to tell them "not my problem, don't want to get involved!" Thanks dcum!

And for the person who keeps insisting that OP doesn't have access to the videos-welcome to the Internet age. Kids are incredibly stupid about posting this stuff. It's very possible OP could find it, or could help her friend access it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Name the school or it didn't happen!

You're an idiot. So because you're a troll everyone else is, right?

[Anonymous]

Report the bullying as well so the school pays attention. It has been recommended on other threads - specifically to ensure the situation gets the attention it needs at the school. This is a link to the form on the website: http://www.montgomeryschoolsmd.org/departments/forms/230-35.shtm

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. My friend is not from this country and doesn't always know exactly what resources are available to her. My children are younger, so I've not had personal experience with this sort of bullying, nor do I live in MoCo.

I'm trying to help point her in the right direction; my personal involvement ends with the recommendations I pass on to her.

Thanks to all who have offered helpful suggestions.

It's great that you are helping your friend. This is a tough situation for that family and it's always better when someone can help them get through it. Often times the procedures involved with reporting these incidents, following up, etc can be quite overwhelming. For what it's worth, I think even complete strangers should step up when they witness these incidents or if they come across videos, posts, or other information that would help catch those responsible. It's inexcusable for someone to just stand by when they have information that can help.

[Anonymous]

Former school counselor here-

Your friend needs to contact the police immediately if she hasn't done so already.

The schools are responsible for the children until they are placed at the bus stop.

Your friend needs to DOCUMENT everything. Take photos AND video of every mark on her body and go to the doctor. I'll say it again. The girl needs to go to the doctor. Your friend can give the school a heads up if she wants to but a lot of times school try to persuade parents from filing an official complaint with the police.

I've seen this happen. Parents tell the school. The school says "don't tell the police we'll handle it". The offender says "she attacked me" and gets MAYBE a one day suspension. Principals and counselors are not law enforcement officers. The attackers need to learn a strong lesson.

Let me know if you have any questions. I've worked in schools for many years and have seen all kinds of things. This kind of thing makes me sick.

[Anonymous]

Surprised at all the MYOB responses. Agree that you should see if you can find anything online and take screenshots to pass to your friend. And the posters recommending that mom document everything and go to doctor are spot on. I'm saddened that this happened to your friend's daughter and it is kind of you to help your friend navigate the situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ouch. PP is snarky dcurbanmom poster ignore her. Your friend should be happy there are videos. I agree get copies of them however you can for your friend. She should definitely go to the superintendent and put everything in writing. If it was my DC I would demand an action plan ro keep my DC safe. Was this bullying? Were the others involved or did they feel unsafe too.

No one is going to give this OP copies of any videos. Don't be stupid. She's not entitled to them. She's not a party to the investigation. And she's way out of line. Why is she involving herself? we don't even know that her friend ASKED her to do this. This is so inappropriate.

I don't understand this comment at all. Why is someone concerned about something terrible that happened to a friend's child? Why would they want to help? PP, are you really asking these questions? It is the natural inclination of a friend to help, to comfort, to get involved if they can do some good. The parents are probably shaken and bewildered and have no experience dealing with something like this. I would imagine that OP can be helpful in thinking of steps they can take that they wouldn't think of themselves. Isn't that the nature of so many DCUM threads, to offer ideas that ones doesn't think of themselves?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, if you can access the facebook page, I would absolutely make copies of the facebook page, pictures and videos for your friend. Then, make a back-up copy just in case. Beyond going to the police, principal and school board to make a big stink, there isn't much she can do. They could possibly ask to have the child go to a different school next year due to the attack. You are a great friend for trying to help. Do everything you can for your friend and her child. No child should have to go through that.

OP, if your friend/her child can't access the facebook page, can the daughter suggest other kids in school (preferably those who are friendly to her or trustworthy) that might have access? If so, I'd have your friend contact those parents, explain briefly or vaguely the situation, and ask those parents for help in getting access and screen shots. Another parent might be able to get their child to access the page for you and no one (the perpetrators and other kids) would have to know who relayed the facebook photos and videos.

[Anonymous]

OP, what an awful, awful situation. My heart breaks for your friend and her daughter. I hope you can help in some way.

[Anonymous]

Also surprised by the MYOB poster. Out of line.

So sorry to hear about this. Your friend should report the bullying to FB. Google Emily Bazelton and bullying. She wrote a book about this.

[Anonymous]

Get the police involved.
Get the school involved.
Call Facebook PR, IR and washington post journalists.
Police cyber bullying IT squad can pull the Facebook shots, even if they've been later taken down. They will get a warrant.
Get the child to a doctor and full condition writeup and photos of assault.

[Anonymous]

Agree that the MYOB poster is completely off base. OP is being a good friend by trying to help.

Agree about documenting everything. Get the girl to a doctor to document injuries. Go to the police. Get copies of the video.

So sorry this happened to her.