felt insulted by a colleague at professional event

[Anonymous]

She is an ass and no doubt everyone at the table got that impression. Let it go, OP.

[Anonymous]

From what you described, I think you definitely handled it just right OP. I know sometimes things get to you but I think she came across rude. Ignore and move on.

From now on, consider yourself warned if you find yourself in her company.

[Anonymous]

It would bother me for at least the rest of the night, but I think you did the right thing. I agree w PP who said she probably felt stupid for going too far.

[Anonymous]

OP. It sounds like you handled the situation professionally. Kudos.

My ears cringed when I heard that she invoked the "PHD" reference. Anyone who feels the need to insert their degree and/or previous research background into a debate is lacking debate skills. It screams - I am insecure!

[Anonymous]

OP, when the other person is aggressive your best bet is to be quiet to show the contrast between you. I can guarantee she came off worst, and that she realized it a tiny bit herself (her last comment).

I imagine she may be a little socially obtuse, and that is why she has such awful manners. Sadly, I sometimes imagine my 8 yo borderline Asperger's son behaving like this as a grown up... I hope I'm wrong!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think she sounds like an ass and everyone around her picked up on that, I'm sure. Very rude.

I don't know that you could have done anything other than what you did -- confronting her would just encourage her.

+1

Don't waste one more second of your life on that ass. She sounds really clueless and pathetic.

[Anonymous]

It would have made my blood boil and I would have obsessed over it later with DH but I think you did exactly the right thing in the situation and would only hope I would have handled it as gracefully.

Always good to (mentally) challenge Red Forman in these situations: "Disadvantage my foot in your ass, lady."

[Anonymous]

better off letting the a-hole go, others got it...

thought it would be tempting to say something like "the academic perspective can be fascinating but doesn't always translate well into real-world situations and solutions."

And just end it there.

[Anonymous]

I would have been annoyed. Even though I'm sure she came off as all shades of rude, the fact that she took control of the conversation and blocked me from getting what I wanted out of the event( networking, whatever the pleasant conversation I was having before) would piss me off. I always wish I had that magic phrase that can stop rude people in their tracks but in a nice, professional, firm way.

Now that I think about it, one way is to call someone in a polite way on their sh&t. When she said I must have you at a disadvantage, look wide eyed and say, something along the lines of a question "are you saying someone needs to do a dissertation on a topic in order to have an opinion on it and converse intelligently?".Wait for more self promotions and subtle put downs if that was the point and furious back peddling if it was accidental. Clearly a it's a topic of great enthusiasm for you so why don't we pick a topic no one has a PhD in like the sports picks for the Redskins so everyone can join in the conversation ...and change the topic. No matter what, you weren't getting to finish the initial conversation but this way you take back control and get everyone at the table talking again.

[Anonymous]

She sounds like an ass. It isn't worth it or appropriate to get into it with her at a business lunch.

[Anonymous]

I think you handled it as professionally as possible.

Sometimes, I find not saying anything in response works with crazies. Just a "hmmm" then continue on with the other conversation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That would have ruined my day, too, OP. Except in my case, I would have gotten all hot under the collar and irrational and made MYSELF look like an ass. For some reason, my brain switches off when I get angry. It's a curse.

So thank your lucky stars that you were saved, either my good judgment or by good timing, from being me.

+1

[Anonymous]

I agree with everyone else here that she sounds like a complete ass. I'm sure she's the kind of person who has PhD in her email signature. I meet so many PhDs who love to throw their intellectual weight around, as if it's a badge of smartness, rather than simply another hoop jumped through.

You sound smart and reasonable. Shrug it off. As you can see, most people here think that woman is a loser, so most likely everyone else at the table did.

[Anonymous]

We would be better off if the paying the bills made the budget

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are you so sure you were right and she was just spouting off opinion? If she has done phd work in the area she probably knew what she was talking about. Maybe it wasn't the right place for a debate, but you may have come off as ignorant to her.

Whether rich people who pay more taxes should have more influence in the democracy is not a factual question. It's a policy question with no provably right answer. Which is why the other women sounds so stupid. (That and the sameless letter dropping. OP, next time just reach under the table, extend your hand, and say "here, I think you dropped your degree.")