Question for those of you with a boy and girl

[Anonymous]

OP, I had a girl first and thought I'd never be able to love a child as much or feel so close a connection. Then came my son. Totally different personality, extremely cuddly and hug-craving. I am definitely in love with him every bit as much as his older sister (and don't tell anyone, but the cosmic closeness I have with my son is unparalleled -- just different from my daughter, who is somewhat more aloof but loved to infinity like her brother). Your heart will expand and grow to love each child to infinity and back. No worries!

[Anonymous]

Same poster as above here. I think the message is, don't expect the son and daughter to pull your heart strings in an identical way. Respect their differences, especially their emotional differences, and you all will be okay. I feel bad for your friend, who seems to be using her daughter's emotions as a yardstick to judge her son. Very sad.

[Anonymous]

Another parent of boy/girl twins. I love them both tremendously, though they are different and my relationship w/ each is different. A lot of the time my daughter gravitates to my husband and my son to me. When they're hurt I'm always primary.

My boy is sooooo much cuddlier and more snuggly than my daughter, which was an unexpected surprise.

Don't worry - you'll be fine! Congratulations!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: I didn't expect how I would feel about my son. I had no idea how wonderful the mother-son relationship would be, and how different. He's the sweetest, funniest kid and so, so snuggly. As myriad PPs have said, it's a very different relationship. I am so madly in love with my son, but I couldn't have imagined it until I had him.

+1

[Anonymous]

I thought I could never love another as I loved my DD (first born). Boy, was I wrong. My son is a total snuggler. Sweet, cuddly and I DO love him just as much.

[Anonymous]

Oh my gosh, just wait. My boy was born first but I second what the twin mom said--you kinda know what to expect out of a relationship/bond with a daughter but you can't comprehend the mother/son relationship until you have a son. My kids are so little--DS is 3 and DD is 1 so of course in a way I am more bonded to DS--I have known him three times as long--but I think my relationship with DD is very similar to what ,y relationship was with DS when he was her age. They have very different personalities, so I relate to them differently, but I truly love them equally.

[Anonymous]

I have an 8 year old daughter and a 4 year old son. DD and I are very close because we spent four years together because her brother was born and I was also a SAHM for 3 of those years. I assumed my son would be closer to his dad and in some ways he is, but we are very close also. We are both second children, and share a lot of other characteristics. DD is classic first-born overachiever perfectionist, very intense and Type A. DS is more laid back, like me, and as others have said, more cuddly, more huggable. DD is becoming more and more of a person I can share interests with, she is more grown up and I like hanging out with her. But I am also very connected to my son and he tugs at my heart in a different way. I feel so blessed to have a child of each gender as it has really shown me what my heart is capable of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I have B/G twins - so no first born issues here. I knew I would love and connect with my daughter the way I had with my own mother. And I did and we are super close.

I didn't expect how I would feel about my son. I had no idea how wonderful the mother-son relationship would be, and how different. He's the sweetest, funniest kid and so, so snuggly. As myriad PPs have said, it's a very different relationship. I am so madly in love with my son, but I couldn't have imagined it until I had him.

I also have b/g twins - I agree with this poster.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I had a girl first and thought I'd never be able to love a child as much or feel so close a connection. Then came my son. Totally different personality, extremely cuddly and hug-craving. I am definitely in love with him every bit as much as his older sister (and don't tell anyone, but the cosmic closeness I have with my son is unparalleled -- just different from my daughter, who is somewhat more aloof but loved to infinity like her brother). Your heart will expand and grow to love each child to infinity and back. No worries!

+1

Honestly, I almost didn't have a second because I didn't think I could love the second as much, but I do. But, I will admit, it was not instantaneous -- of course, I loved #2 immediately, but the bond took time.