Bullying in Bethesda an CC elementaries

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our daughter is really suffering. Anyone else having similar experiences?

We had an experience last year with my DSD. It was pretty bad. That was her 7th grade year. Luckily, all the "mean girls" were in 8th grade and have now moved on. Shes having a better year. it got so bad that she needed xanax and to talk to a therapist. I truly think it was just jealousy. I mean the girl looks like a super model. Have you tried to talk with the teachers, counselors and principals? They can be of great help.

About looking like a super model... Bullying has more to do with emotional vulnerability and less about appearance.

[Anonymous]

Certainly part of the problem is that many people use bullying as a catchall phrase that goes far beyond the definitions schools and others use with respect to bullying. For example, it seems a stretch to call the message suggesting what girls should wear bullying, and I would think the proper response to something like that would be to tell your child to ignore it rather than to contact the parents. This is also a problem in the schools when kids are taught that if they label behavior they do not like as bullying, they will get a response, so just about everything gets that label, and kids become immune. There are lots of real issues with respect to bullying and they need to be taken seriously, but calling cliques and gossip are probably best treated differently. It is also interesting that a number of posters suggested actions like calling the school even though the original poster provided no details, this is not to say that OP's child is not being subjected to serious bullying, just that we should be more precise in our definitions, particularly when raising issues of bullying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Certainly part of the problem is that many people use bullying as a catchall phrase that goes far beyond the definitions schools and others use with respect to bullying. For example, it seems a stretch to call the message suggesting what girls should wear bullying, and I would think the proper response to something like that would be to tell your child to ignore it rather than to contact the parents. This is also a problem in the schools when kids are taught that if they label behavior they do not like as bullying, they will get a response, so just about everything gets that label, and kids become immune. There are lots of real issues with respect to bullying and they need to be taken seriously, but calling cliques and gossip are probably best treated differently. It is also interesting that a number of posters suggested actions like calling the school even though the original poster provided no details, this is not to say that OP's child is not being subjected to serious bullying, just that we should be more precise in our definitions, particularly when raising issues of bullying.

I totally disagree. I think gossip and cliques can actually be worse than physical bullying, especially among the girls. Gossip is bullying. Period. And kids need to be taught this. They need to realize that they can't spread rumors about other kids without consequences. What often happens to girls is that a clique of girls will decide they don't like one girl and then spreading all kinds of rumors. Then they act innocent if any adult is told and calls them on it. The problem is that that kind of gossip and rumor spreading really can interfere with a kids' ability to learn. And that is what matters.

I also think the emails and texting can verge on harassment. And again, kids need to be taught a bit of self-control when it comes to that. The key thing is that these activities interfere with classroom learning, period. And that's why parents, teachers and principals need to take them seriously.

The problem is that if they don't call rumor spreading and gossip bullying, even though it might really be causing a child harm, then nothing is done to intervene.

In recent history, it should be noted that most bullying-related suicides among kids/teens were actually of the gossip kind of bullying and not the physical version. That should be proof enough that those behaviors, even though not traditional bullying, are damaging and serious enough to be called bullying and treated as such.

[Anonymous]

sorry for all of the typos. should have proofed.

[Anonymous]

"Gossip is bullying. Period." End of story, no questions asked, no room for debate . . . sigh. Ironically, your effort to rid the world of gossip is likely to do more harm to your daughter through your meddling ways than if you tried to help her navigate the tricky world of adolescence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Gossip is bullying. Period." End of story, no questions asked, no room for debate . . . sigh. Ironically, your effort to rid the world of gossip is likely to do more harm to your daughter through your meddling ways than if you tried to help her navigate the tricky world of adolescence.

That - I hate to say it but our kids need some coping skills. Bullys are out there in the adult world too - it just changes form.

[Anonymous]

First step - fill out the bullying form pior posters have provided. The school has to respond and the simple act of filing the form adds to a data set to evaluate incidences. Schools take that seriously.

Second step, send a note to school counselor and principle sending them a copy of the form and asking for a meeting to discuss. There may be some things you are not aware of and it may be that there are some social skills your child can adopt that will help. (not blame the victim, but rather coach the victim to deal with a challenging situation).

There are also interventions that the school can think about. The most effective intervention is actually empowering others/witnesses to help the victim. "Something as simple as saying, hey that was mean come talk to us..."

All the data shows that bullying is done to accrue social power. Schools can change things by finding ways to increase the social standing of kids who help the victim... It has been done and there is science to back it up. but it does require thinking structurally and not focusing on indviduals but rather larger issues. So, that again goes back to filling out the form and getting any other victims of bullying to do the same. It all goes back to data that the school can't ignore. If you never fill out the form, as far as upper management in MCPS is concerned the bullying does not exist. good luck.

[Anonymous]

"Bullying" is the trendy 2013 excuse for failure in schools.

A kid looks at another sideways and its bullying. A girl gossips about another girl. Its bullying. Boys play grab ass and its bullying. A ball goes astray on the playground and hits the slow kid in the head and its bullying.

These things have been going on since schools were invented.

By 2014 they will find a new social problem to whine about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Bullying" is the trendy 2013 excuse for failure in schools.

A kid looks at another sideways and its bullying. A girl gossips about another girl. Its bullying. Boys play grab ass and its bullying. A ball goes astray on the playground and hits the slow kid in the head and its bullying.

These things have been going on since schools were invented.

By 2014 they will find a new social problem to whine about.

A kid commits suicide and it's bullying...

And "grabbing ass", otherwise known as sexual assault, is ok, because it's nothing new?

PP, you're not persuading me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Bullying" is the trendy 2013 excuse for failure in schools.

A kid looks at another sideways and its bullying. A girl gossips about another girl. Its bullying. Boys play grab ass and its bullying. A ball goes astray on the playground and hits the slow kid in the head and its bullying.

These things have been going on since schools were invented.

By 2014 they will find a new social problem to whine about.

Yours is gramma's regressive idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Bullying" is the trendy 2013 excuse for failure in schools.

A kid looks at another sideways and its bullying. A girl gossips about another girl. Its bullying. Boys play grab ass and its bullying. A ball goes astray on the playground and hits the slow kid in the head and its bullying.

These things have been going on since schools were invented.

By 2014 they will find a new social problem to whine about.

A kid commits suicide and it's bullying...

And "grabbing ass", otherwise known as sexual assault, is ok, because it's nothing new?

PP, you're not persuading me.

Playing grab ass is sexual assault? The police better lock up the entire male population of every school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Playing grab ass is sexual assault? The police better lock up the entire male population of every school.

Yes, "playing grab ass" is sexual assault. It is sexual contact with another without the consent of the other. If we all (parents, schools, society) taught our children that sexual contact with another person without that person's consent is wrong -- always -- everybody would be better off (except for people who like to commit sexual assault).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Playing grab ass is sexual assault? The police better lock up the entire male population of every school.

Yes, "playing grab ass" is sexual assault. It is sexual contact with another without the consent of the other. If we all (parents, schools, society) taught our children that sexual contact with another person without that person's consent is wrong -- always -- everybody would be better off (except for people who like to commit sexual assault).

+100

Not all male population of every school likes to play grab ass. Maybe that pp was raised and grew up in different culture and time.

[Anonymous]

18:12 is clearly a troll. Ignore. I asked to get one of his posts deleted. I am so tired of trolls hijacking threads. What proportion of these threads are folks without kids who do not even live in dc?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:18:12 is clearly a troll. Ignore. I asked to get one of his posts deleted. I am so tired of trolls hijacking threads. What proportion of these threads are folks without kids who do not even live in dc?

"He" is a troll because "his" opinion of bullying does not agree with yours? On what grounds did you ask that the post be deleted? Because its not of the party line? "His" take on it is pretty close to the truth.