SO: Showing R rated Movies to Young Teens

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a parent I would either not RSVP (and not show) or just say no. I wouldn't tell you that I objected because sometimes (despite best efforts at confidentiality) things get out and i wouldn't want DC to be "blamed" for the first choice movie not being shown.

Have you or DH actually seen the movie? I googled it to see what it was about (besides the obvious) and couldn't even get through the results because of the real crime scene photos and news articles about real people who were actually dismembered.

As PP said- i would question what else would be allowed at the party if the parents intentionally showed a movie to an UNDERAGE group. To be honest I would just say that a parent objected and show the PG-13 movie.

ITA with everything this poster said. Based on that movie description I would not allow my 13 year old to see this. And I'm pretty relaxed about things like this, he has seen some R rated movies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a feeling that even if only one child comes your DH will find a way not to see the movie as the cause.

Not all R movies are created equal and the one you mention sounds particularly gruesome. There is no way my child would attend a party where the main entertainment is watching people be dismembered.

As a parent I would either not RSVP (and not show) or just say no. I wouldn't tell you that I objected because sometimes (despite best efforts at confidentiality) things get out and i wouldn't want DC to be "blamed" for the first choice movie not being shown.

Have you or DH actually seen the movie? I googled it to see what it was about (besides the obvious) and couldn't even get through the results because of the real crime scene photos and news articles about real people who were actually dismembered.

As PP said- i would question what else would be allowed at the party if the parents intentionally showed a movie to an UNDERAGE group. To be honest I would just say that a parent objected and show the PG-13 movie.

Oh, wow, entirely and completely inappropriate. I thought the title was a joke. I don't think anyone should see such a movie. I'm pretty lax about such things and my 13 year-old has seen R movies, but I would be horrified if this was shown at a party. In fact, even if you changed the movie to something more acceptable I would be wary of sending my DC to your house because of the lack of judgment here.

I'm sorry, but did you look into the movie at all or just go by your DH's word on it?

[Anonymous]

OP. I thought it was pretty obvious that that was a made up title! I honestly can't remember the title. It's one of those "found footage" films where a group of teens gets trapped in mental asylum sort of thing.

I'm totally against showing the movie! I've been the bad guy about r rated movies for the past three birthday parties! Thus year, dss went to dh directly who oked an r rated film, and I had to intervene in retrospect.

Yes, I'm mad at dh for making me be the "bad guy" in this situation. So i agreed to this compromise. I have no issues being tough on my own kid with media, but when you're the step, it really is different.

Dss doesn't even care about this particular movie. He just wanted something RRated, and I made it clear to dh that I would not allow it unless a specific movie was selected and specific permission was gained from every parent. Dss spent about 5 minutes browsing Netflix and chose this one.

So, strategic error on my part in thinking at least one parent out of 25 would say no. But I suppose if dh wont listen to my opinion about this stuff, the rep as "that sort of house" is deserved.

(My daughter is several years younger with no overlap in peer group, so I doubt it will affect her)

[Anonymous]

I don't think that DH could make you the bad guy if you didn't accept the role. This is his biological son, right? And he is not allowing you to do it your way because of that?

HE needs to plan the party, HE needs to send the invitations and HE (and DS) needs to deal with the fall out.

You've chosen this as your battle (and I can understand why you would) but you should remove yourself from the situation next year and tell DH to do all of it.

Also- arrange couple's therapy. Today- a birthday party. Tomorrow- who knows?

[Anonymous]

OP once again.

Had another talk with dh. I don't know what we did better this time, but I think he really got my concerns about the movie. He brought up the recent story about an adolescent girl killing herself after a sexual assault and seemed to be thinking about condoning the violence and sexual content as more significant. He also had just had a knee jerk reaction to me resisting Rrated movies and had looked up this genre of movies in particular and saw this was no Friday the 13th or the Shining.

Anyhow, PG-13 movie it is. He's informing the parents and dss. I have a feeling there will be some level of fallout, but were definitely in a better place.