Grrr...MIL set up FB account for my 7 year old

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:That is messed up. No one should make that choice for a parent without checking.

+1

Explain to MIL that it's a very complicated issue and you guys had decided your DD could not have one yet. Tell her you realize she didn't know but in future you'd appreciate her checking with you before taking a step like that. If your DD knew you and your husband didn't want her to have a FB page, then this gives her a very confusing message.

[Anonymous]

Your MIL is a bitch or an idiot.

Shut this down NOW. She is actually potentially putting your DD in danger because if she knows how to use the internet but is not internet savvy (doesn't really understand the consequences of what she is doing) then your DD is exposed. God knows who she might be emailing, or what she might be seeing in unsupervised "internet time" at grandma's house.

I would raise hell over this. Seriously. Make it a child protection issue and go nuts. I wouldn't try to even be rational about it.

[Anonymous]

Grandma should have known better, but the truth is many in her generation just do not understand all of the ramifications of technology and fb, etc. She probably thought it was just some lighthearted fun. I would be clear with her about your rules and that in the future she needs to discuss things with you.

[Anonymous]

It's not complicated at all. FB's terms of service clearly require users to be 13. It's simple to sari to your MIL that you are shutting down the account b/c it violates FB's terms of service, and as an FYI, you have decided that your DD will not have any social media accounts that you do not set up yourselves, including email announces or any other service.

Then, you tell your daughter that Grandma must not have been aware of FB's rules, but that no one under 13 is allowed to have a FB account, period. Once she is 13, you can discuss possibly having an account. If she protests that you are a mean mom, simply say that in your house, you obey the law and you do not enter into legal agreements based on lies. It is an important lesson.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you EFFING kidding me? Let this go? NO WAY! I would be LIVID. That page would get shut down and MIL would be told in no uncertain terms, she has NO right and NO say in whether or not or how your children engage in social media -- at all or ever. She would also be told that as she apparently has ZERO judgment that she has lost unsupervised access to the grandchildren for the forseeable future.

I love social media. I am on FB, have a twitter account, Pinterest, you name it. My kid does not and will not until she of appropriate age. I would end my MIL if she did something like that. And my own mother would get the same response.

Is this April fools? Good one pp, way to spoof DCUM!

[Anonymous]

If Gma knows enough to setup the FB profile she should have known to check with you guys first. 7 is way too young IMO.

[Anonymous]

The OP has to be an April Fools Day post. Or a troll. I have an8yo and dont believe a kid that age even knows about FBmuch less has friends already with FB accounts.

[Anonymous]

PP, depends on the friendship circle. I teach K and many of my students "claim" to have FB accounts. What they actually have are older siblings or parents that have them. Wouldn't be surprised if a few have managed to get one by 2nd grade. Don't think it's appropriate, but not impossible. Some young kids are VERY aware of social media, even at this age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Grandma should have known better, but the truth is many in her generation just do not understand all of the ramifications of technology and fb, etc. She probably thought it was just some lighthearted fun. I would be clear with her about your rules and that in the future she needs to discuss things with you.

+1. I don't think my MIL would have any idea why having a FB page is a bad idea. She just doesn't understand. Clicks on every link in every email whether she knows the sender or not. We've explained why this is a bad idea and it confuses her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Obviously, MIL didn't think it was a big deal (unless this is typical behavior for her) and I would take a step back before being angry at her over it. But no 7-year-old should have a Facebook page. If nothing else, it violates the terms of service. Just call her up (or have DH do it) and say that it's a cute idea, but you two have discussed it and decided that she is just too young for a Facebook page right now, so you're going to delete it, and Larla had so much fun spending the night with her grandparents.

If Larla flips out, well, that's what 7-year-olds do. You make the rules, and just because she's angry and upset, she doesn't get to have something you've already decided is inappropriate. Deal with that separately from the MIL/Facebook issue.

I agree. Your MIL may not have understood the implications. Your DD may also have come up with the idea if she wants one.

[Crowealethea]

FB page for small child looks funny. However it looks too much, as if we are buying an Intellectual property for baby.

[Anonymous]

Your MIL was way out of line but probably ignorant to the dangers of facebook. If you make the decision, you really have to make sure her profile is completely private. Most people don't realize that their pages are fully searchable and open to the public. You certainly don't want your daughter stalked or her pictures stolen from the Facebook page. I would also get her to stop friending every one she knows without your knowledge. That's a clear sign that she isn't old enough to appreciate the risks associated with facebook.

[Anonymous]

I would be livid if my MIL did something like that. 7 is way too young to be involved in social media. I would cancel the account and tell her nicely, but firmly, that 7 is too young for a Facebook page, kids way older than that are still susceptible to scams and online predators and whatnot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not complicated at all. FB's terms of service clearly require users to be 13. It's simple to sari to your MIL that you are shutting down the account b/c it violates FB's terms of service, and as an FYI, you have decided that your DD will not have any social media accounts that you do not set up yourselves, including email announces or any other service.

Then, you tell your daughter that Grandma must not have been aware of FB's rules, but that no one under 13 is allowed to have a FB account, period. Once she is 13, you can discuss possibly having an account. If she protests that you are a mean mom, simply say that in your house, you obey the law and you do not enter into legal agreements based on lies. It is an important lesson.

I agree with this entire thing. If DD throws a fit, send her to her room and tell her when she's ready to discuss it rationally and calmly she can come out and you'll talk with her. The ideal fix, OP, would be for DH to explain to his mom that letting DD have a FB page violates their TOS, and having Grandma call to tell DD that she made a mistake and she apologizes. THEN shutting the page down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your MIL is a bitch or an idiot.

Shut this down NOW. She is actually potentially putting your DD in danger because if she knows how to use the internet but is not internet savvy (doesn't really understand the consequences of what she is doing) then your DD is exposed. God knows who she might be emailing, or what she might be seeing in unsupervised "internet time" at grandma's house.

I would raise hell over this. Seriously. Make it a child protection issue and go nuts. I wouldn't try to even be rational about it.

That first line is the most succinct, beautiful piece of advice ever.

Yes, shut this down. Your DD has no business on Facebook, and Grandma has no business making these kinds of decisions and should be made very aware of that fact.