Does anyone elses spouse stay out overnight frequently

[Anonymous]

Man here. Never, ever done this. Not once. Married 11 years.

[Anonymous]

Married 9 years, together for 11 and that has never happened. I'd be furious. Something planned in advance is totally different and even calling home too drunk to drive would be better than not calling at all. WTF, that's just...wow!

[Anonymous]

OP, you already knew the answer to your question. I hope you can stop this.

[Anonymous]

never

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, We are both in our 30's

I just feel it's really inconsiderate for him not to tell me. He always promises he'll call to let me know in the future, but it never happens. Personally, I think he just gets so drunk, he passes out before even thinking of calling me.

Why is he drinking to excess so routinely?

[Anonymous]

I would treat him like a child in this situation and demand to have the name and number of the person whose party he is supposedly at and let him know that should he fail to show up, you will call that house every hour on the hour until someone can account for you.

[Anonymous]

No, and we are both fairly regular drinkers with a very relaxed/unstructured relationship. a no-call/no-show is not cool.

[Anonymous]

Does he have ADHD? Is he always late?

DH practically never notifies me in advance of any change of plans once he goes out. He has a problem with time management and time keeping, and is incurably optimistic about how long something will take. Typically, he will run out for some errand. Then I get anxious because he's late, and I try to call him and his phone is not on. Then eventually he calls me, apologizes, and tells me of an extra series of errands he had to run, or tells me that his errand unaccountably lasted longer than he thought. Now I believe he's truthful (if he says he's in the American Plant, for ex, I hear lots of appropriate noises in the background). But he cannot for the life of him remember to switch on his phone in the morning, and he does not wear the watch I gave him.
I believe this stems from his ADHD.
It's infuriating.

Alcoholism, escapism, ADHD or whatever it is, good luck dealing with this, OP.

[Anonymous]

I would lose my shit.

[Anonymous]

20 years together and even in our 20s and early 30s never did this. A late night boozing with friends occasionally, but always got a cab or metro home, and always called.

[Anonymous]

Tell him the next time he does that you are changing the locks. He can at least text you if he doesn't want you to hear him drunk. 30's is way too old for this behavior on a regular basis.

[Anonymous]

I would totally lose it. Like several others have said, when you are married and a father you don't drink to such a degree that you pass out so that's not even remotely a good enough excuse. There is no way he can think this is acceptable behavior for a husband and father. And then to worry you etc. He's your partner in life, in raising your child and he needs to act like it. NOT OK.

[Anonymous]

A man in his 30s does this? WTF?

[Anonymous]

Never. Like, never ever. I'd be calling the cops, sending out search parties. If it happened once, it would not happen again.

Honey, your DH doesn't just have a consideration problem. He has a drinking problem. And you are enabling it by tolerating this completely unacceptable behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A man in his 30s does this? WTF?

This is frat boy behavior. And I'm sure his friends don't want him at their houses drunk and hung over. Insist he call a cab home instead. I'd probably lo look into the Find My Friends app to check his whereabouts.