Does anyone elses spouse stay out overnight frequently

[Anonymous]

Sadly, I think you need to not assume he is where he says he is. This is not normal behavior for a mature, committed husband and father. He either has a serious drinking problem or is spending time where he shouldn't be spending time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is something that is really aggravating to me. This happens about once a month. DH will go out, and tell me he will be home around a certain time. (I'm home with our baby). But, he never comes home. I end up worrying that he's been in an accident, or something, and not being able to sleep for the worry, he doesn't answer his phone. 100% of the time, the next day he'll apologize and say he accidently fell asleep (because he'd been drinking) at so-and-so's house. Now, I know he IS actually where he says he is (unless his friends are covering for him, which I don't really think they would do). I'm really getting sick of it. Especially, since I'm 100% okay with him staying overnight at friends houses, especially if he's been drinking, as I don't want him trying to drive home. All I want is for him to notify me, so I won't worry. He treats it so nonchalantly, like I'm making a big deal about it when it isn't a big deal.

Would this bother you too? Am I being too controlling by wanting to know he's safe where he is? Am I blowing this issue out of porportion?

Yes they would. He is fing somebody.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I have had my husband do the same (stay out late, get too drunk, not come home). It happened, not regularly, but was the start of a phase where he felt he wanted freedom and to have more fun. We married young and had kids relatively young and went through rough times, so maybe that's why it was triggered. I don't know. I found it completely unacceptable and even worse, I also found out he was lying about where he was crashing.

Anyway, in our case, it wasn't about an affair. It was about wanting to live the glory days that our peers were living... If we didn't wrestle with the issue immediately it might have expanded into an affair (just another extension of living the glory days and not wanting to be tied down).

Occasionally, dh will still get too drunk to get home safely. It happens about once a year. As a person who basically never drinks too much, I have a hard time understanding those who do.

But besides this, he's usually a fine upstanding man.

Maybe it's because he's so upstanding most of the time that when he actually does let loose, he goes too far?

Who knows. I still don't think it's acceptable or normal, but I want you to know that it does happen and this is my best explanation for why it happens in my marriage.

He's us fing somebody .... Ugh I wish I was married to you women. So easy.

[Anonymous]

My spouse does this every other day...his excuse is its better then driving home n getting a dui... he said that he knows that if he gets drunk he can just pass out at his friends house with no problem. 10yrs dealing with his bull@#&%.

[Anonymous]

He's having an affair.

[Anonymous]

He should tell you he plans on not coming home.

[Anonymous]

LOL @ people thinking he is fucking someone. If he was, he'd tell her in advance he was going to be out all night. Not that he "Forgot". Dude is just getting wasted with his boys and passing out.

[Anonymous]

9:24, why are you reviving such an old thread? Better to start a new one.

[Anonymous]

16 years together, never happened.

[Anonymous]

Nope, we've been married 20 years and if this even happened once, DH would be in a shitstorm

[Anonymous]

Yep.
Sometimes all night, sometimes just super late. Always had an excuse. Once I even called around to the local hospitals.

17 years, three kids, I finally took the kids and left. He clearly didn't want to be married, I'm just pissed it took me so long to figure it out.