Using your husband as your personal secretary....

[Anonymous]

I don't think people are jumping on the OP, but I do think if you look for issues you will find them. Meeting new people is hard and making friends is even harder without jumping to conclusions. Sometimes you have to give people the benefit of the doubt and give them (and yourself) a chance to get to know each other better before you assume a personal slight.

[Anonymous]

OP you are being overly sensitive. You did not call her to ask her to do anything with you. You left a message asking they as in the family wanted your bed. Maybe he checked the messages that day and decided to answer. I assume he knows if they would want or need a bed. You are not friends with this person, but that said even if you were, so what if the husband called instead. Maybe she wasn't going to be home for a while. There are so many reasons she may not of called and none of them "using her husband as a secretary", it is his phone, son and house too.

[Anonymous]

If you pass this many judgments, you will never make friends in the area.

As long as the husband's response was neighborly, assume the best of them and get on with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Depends on the tone of your message. He may have interpreted it as a call to the household with an offer of furniture. That's probably how my husband and I would have interpreted it. And if he had waited until I got home to give me the message and expected me to call back I would have been annoyed.

But if you made it clear in your phone message that it was part of your friendship with her, I see your point. Perhaps they misunderstood your intent.

Yeah, this was weird (based on your post). If I left my number for a new neighbor and they called asking if i wanted some use furniture - I would have been somewhat annoyed and I probably would not have called back at all. How did you know they needed a bed.

[Anonymous]

I think it's weird that you think it's weird. I imagine the conversation went a little something like this:


Woman (running out the door): Oh shoot, I didn't call back that nice lady who left me a message. It was so nice of her to offer us that bed, I don't want to be rude.

Husband: Get going, you're late. I'll return the message for you.

Obviously, if you are trying to "establish a relationship" there will be additional opportunities to communicate around picking up the bed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depends on the tone of your message. He may have interpreted it as a call to the household with an offer of furniture. That's probably how my husband and I would have interpreted it. And if he had waited until I got home to give me the message and expected me to call back I would have been annoyed.

But if you made it clear in your phone message that it was part of your friendship with her, I see your point. Perhaps they misunderstood your intent.

Yeah, this was weird (based on your post). If I left my number for a new neighbor and they called asking if i wanted some use furniture - I would have been somewhat annoyed and I probably would not have called back at all. How did you know they needed a bed.

I guess a nice gesture is surely lost on you. No wonder why so many people find DC so unfriendly. Point taken.

[Anonymous]

The husband is your neighbor too, and perhaps, they thought they were being "neighborly" by his returning your call more promptly, etc. I don't think it's weird, OP. People understood your point; they just disagree with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The husband is your neighbor too, and perhaps, they thought they were being "neighborly" by his returning your call more promptly, etc. I don't think it's weird, OP. People understood your point; they just disagree with it.

As for how hard is it to make a 10-minute phone call? Somedays, it's very difficult, especially to do so at a respectable hour.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The husband is your neighbor too, and perhaps, they thought they were being "neighborly" by his returning your call more promptly, etc. I don't think it's weird, OP. People understood your point; they just disagree with it.

As for how hard is it to make a 10-minute phone call? Somedays, it's very difficult, especially to do so at a respectable hour.

I find it almost imposible to talk on the phone with kids around, and when they are in bed, I'm exhausted. If I had a husband, I would definately want him to deal with phone calls.

[Anonymous]

DH and I are a team. Either one of us is perfectly capable of returning a voicemail left on the answering machine. In addition, like a PP said, the husband probably called because he was going to be the one that was going to have to pick it up. Sorry, but some people just don't get the nuances that you implied -- myself included. If you are trying to make an overture to the wife only, then invite her to a specific function that only involves her -- e.g. a ladies night out.

Also, I'm a little confused. Did you leave the message on the home phone or her office phone? If at home, how do you even know she heard the message? Perhaps DH heard the message, wrote down your number and made the call himself. My husband never tells me that someone called for me unless 1) I ask him if anyone called or 2) the person leaving the message tells him specifically that they want me to call them back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The husband is your neighbor too, and perhaps, they thought they were being "neighborly" by his returning your call more promptly, etc. I don't think it's weird, OP. People understood your point; they just disagree with it.

As for how hard is it to make a 10-minute phone call? Somedays, it's very difficult, especially to do so at a respectable hour.

What are you people doing that you can't make phone calls? Do you have like 6 children?

I'm a working mom who does ALL of the heavy lifting b/c DH has long hours and I call people. I call at least one of my good friends amost daily. I also talk to my mom daily. With my other friends we sprinkle calls through out the week.

I also used to be a SAH mom and BOY did I yap on the phone then. Yap Yap Yap a large part of the day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The husband is your neighbor too, and perhaps, they thought they were being "neighborly" by his returning your call more promptly, etc. I don't think it's weird, OP. People understood your point; they just disagree with it.

As for how hard is it to make a 10-minute phone call? Somedays, it's very difficult, especially to do so at a respectable hour.

What are you people doing that you can't make phone calls? Do you have like 6 children?

I'm a working mom who does ALL of the heavy lifting b/c DH has long hours and I call people. I call at least one of my good friends amost daily. I also talk to my mom daily. With my other friends we sprinkle calls through out the week.

I also used to be a SAH mom and BOY did I yap on the phone then. Yap Yap Yap a large part of the day.

I'm guessing you're making all of these calls at work. I have the kind of job that makes that impossible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The husband is your neighbor too, and perhaps, they thought they were being "neighborly" by his returning your call more promptly, etc. I don't think it's weird, OP. People understood your point; they just disagree with it.

As for how hard is it to make a 10-minute phone call? Somedays, it's very difficult, especially to do so at a respectable hour.

What are you people doing that you can't make phone calls? Do you have like 6 children?

I'm a working mom who does ALL of the heavy lifting b/c DH has long hours and I call people. I call at least one of my good friends amost daily. I also talk to my mom daily. With my other friends we sprinkle calls through out the week.

I also used to be a SAH mom and BOY did I yap on the phone then. Yap Yap Yap a large part of the day.

I'm guessing you're making all of these calls at work. I have the kind of job that makes that impossible.

But you can post on DCUM

My mom, yes during the day-different time zone, but not my daily call to my GF. We normally talk on our commute home (I know BAD mommy cell phone driver).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
But you can post on DCUM

quote]

Yes, and I sure look busy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
But you can post on DCUM

quote]

Yes, and I sure look busy.

Tee-he-hee! Typing furiously away. What a good worker!