when to tell people

[Anonymous]

I, too, advise to keep the people you tell limited to those that you would tell in the event of a miscarriage. But if anybody falls into that category I would go ahead and tell them. I had a miscarriage at 9 weeks (after having seen the heartbeat). We hadn't told anyone yet, not even our families. But I really needed to talk to my mom and my sister about the miscarriage (and my husband wanted the support of his family), which led to some really sad conversations where we had to dump a lot of information on our families - at the same time they learned of the miscarriage they learned of the pregnancy, which I think was hard for them. I don't know that it would have been easier if they had known about the pregnancy beforehand, but in those days when we weren't sure that the pregnancy was going to continue I think that my husband and I would have benefited from having people to talk about it with, but we weren't able to because we were set on not telling. If I had it to do over (and I hope that I will someday), I would tell my family earlier.

[Anonymous]

to the pp's who experienced mc. i am very sorry, l but am glad to hear you had supportive friends and family around. the first trimester is very hard, even without the fear of mc. there is nausea, vomiting, extreme exhaustion. we told very close friends and family at 9 weeks and i was glad we did. i was so tired and sick, it was nice to have people to help me get through it. it also made me feel more comfortable that the family knew i was missing events due to fatigue not disinterest.

[Anonymous]

With my first pregnancy, I was very naive and I told my mom and my in-laws on the same day that I found out I was pregnant. Both my mom and my in-laws are AWFUL at keeping secrets, so even though we asked them to be discrete, they told every human being who crossed their paths around those days. Thank God everything went well then and I have a beautiful healthy child!

With my second pregnancy, I wanted to keep it a secret, but I ended up breaking the news to a bunch of people and then I had a m/c. It was very difficult because I had to send an e-mail to let people know that I had had one.

Now I am pregnant again (13 weeks) and we are keeping it a secret. Only my mom, my bosses and a good friend of mine know. This time we have decided not to tell my in-laws until it is obvious. I am sure that my mom has told a bunch of people already, but that is beyond my control.

Anyway, congratulations on your pregnancy and good luck!