What do I tell my son?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are a fair number of men who have remarried, have infants or toddlers, and don't stay connected with the first set of children. Same as 30 years ago. So he won't be the only one. And this will come up again and again. He'll get used to it, but should talk about it a bit.

Im sorry, but how sad is that? What an awful thing for a little boy to have to "get used to."

OP, you didn't say but were you ever married to this man? Was a divorce involved?

[Anonymous]

Yes, we were married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the OP. I am sure I will have to do the explaining as his father rarely calls and I am sure he won't answer my call after the event is over. My own father was just like this so I know the feelings my son will have as he gets older. I will try to be as matter of fact about it as I can.

Well, it obviously didn't bother you so much since you married your father. Why not get him into counseling so he can make better life decisions that you did?

Bitch

[Anonymous]

Is this baptism? Are you LDS? Talk to your bishop. He will help....

[Anonymous]

No, it is a First Communion. The thing is, my church expects both parents to be there. Not an unreasonable expectation really.

[Anonymous]

I don't see first communion as worth a plane ticket.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, it is a First Communion. The thing is, my church expects both parents to be there. Not an unreasonable expectation really.

I didn't read everything but is there a male figure in his lite that could stand in? A family friend or uncle?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't see first communion as worth a plane ticket.

My ex must have written this. That is just like saying your child isn't worth your time or money.

[Anonymous]

Is there a grandfather or uncle or special male in his life who can be there?

I would say, "Daddy couldn't come. I don't know why, but next time you talk to him, you can ask him. It's okay to be sad or angry or not feel anything at all about it. Whatever you feel is okay, and it's okay if your feelings about it change."

[Anonymous]

OP here. His godparents will be there so maybe they can come up with us too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. His godparents will be there so maybe they can come up with us too.

I think that's a great plan, OP. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

OP, if you're going to get shit from the church authorities if your ex doesn't show up ... maybe you need a new church home.

[Anonymous]

What you tell him is not so important. He's going to have to make is peace with his father being an a-hole.

Lots of great strong men grow up without having the dad they deserve. Just one of life's curve balls is all.

I understand why you are upset but just let it flow. I think your boy will be just fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, if you're going to get shit from the church authorities if your ex doesn't show up ... maybe you need a new church home.

Oh please!

OP is saying it is the norm (as it should be) that both parents attend. It will be obvious to her son that his father chose not to come even if he doesn't say anything about it.