Do grandparents have the right to keep giving unsolicited advice?

[Anonymous]

This is not the hill you want to die on. Do you have any idea how many people try to give the President advice on how to run the country? Do you think he listens to them or curses them out? No, of course not - he does the Nod and Smile, then moves the conversation along. Learn.

[Anonymous]

It's called freedom of speech. They have the right to say whatever they want, to opine what they want. You have the right to ignore them. My parents established this when we were kids. They told us from early on that as our parents, they would always have the right to give their opinions about our lives. Our only obligation was to listen. We didn't have to follow their advice, but we had to listen and then we could decide what to do with the information. Oddly enough, over the years, I've found many, many, many useful bits of information that my parents have passed down. I've found some things that I don't agree with and do differently, but I just listen and then decide what to do. Sometimes it's what they suggest, other times it's not. Fortunately for us, they give their opinion, but don't fight us if we don't heed their suggestions.

I would suggest that you just listen politely, say something like "Thanks for the suggestion." or "Okay, we'll think about it." and then decide as a couple how you would like to handle the situation. If they repeat the suggestion, you can add "Thanks. You've already suggested that." If they try to argue that you aren't listening or heeding them, you can add "Oh we heard your suggestion and have decided to do this our way. Thanks for your concern." Basically you listen politely, do what you want and if they argue, then you convey that you did hear them, but opted to do something different.

[Anonymous]

OP here, great advice everyone, thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's called freedom of speech. They have the right to say whatever they want, to opine what they want. You have the right to ignore them. My parents established this when we were kids. They told us from early on that as our parents, they would always have the right to give their opinions about our lives. Our only obligation was to listen. We didn't have to follow their advice, but we had to listen and then we could decide what to do with the information. Oddly enough, over the years, I've found many, many, many useful bits of information that my parents have passed down. I've found some things that I don't agree with and do differently, but I just listen and then decide what to do. Sometimes it's what they suggest, other times it's not. Fortunately for us, they give their opinion, but don't fight us if we don't heed their suggestions.

I would suggest that you just listen politely, say something like "Thanks for the suggestion." or "Okay, we'll think about it." and then decide as a couple how you would like to handle the situation. If they repeat the suggestion, you can add "Thanks. You've already suggested that." If they try to argue that you aren't listening or heeding them, you can add "Oh we heard your suggestion and have decided to do this our way. Thanks for your concern." Basically you listen politely, do what you want and if they argue, then you convey that you did hear them, but opted to do something different.

Freedom of speech (the First Amendment type at least) has no relation to your interactions with your in-laws. Sorry, pet peeve. And I don't think parents should have the "right" to say whatever they want to their kids. There should be boundaries.

[Anonymous]

Ah, meddling grandparents and "the baby's too cold." I'm pretty sure my mom thinks this is the primary reason for all baby crying, including colic. Just add a few extra layers.

[Anonymous]

No they don't. We tell our parents to keep quiet on the big things, but try to ignore on the small. We just spent an entire week with our parents talking about how cold ds's hands and feet were. We were indoors and the kid takes off his sox and slippers. We ignored it. On bigger things we do tell them to mind their own business.

[Anonymous]

Hey, don't know if this helps but we are the happy parents of a 10-month old... and we have exactly the same thing with the (very loving) grandparents.

Ignore it, for the most part -- learn the good things from them. They might be right about some things too, you know

Good luck

[Anonymous]

GAWD!!! i HATE MOther in laws!!!!