Would you be upset with MIL for doing this?

[Anonymous]

Did anyone notice OP say "we use the money for things they need or to fund their activities"

I think the OP is misted pissed she didn't get her family Christmas kid support from DH's family.

[Anonymous]

I usually don't comment on posts where if I don't have anything nice to say...

But wow. Wow. You sound sound like a selfish, spoiled, ungrateful, high maintenance dil. Count yourself lucky if your mil doesn't take your bitchy response and share it with the entire family, and that they all don't hold it against you.

You should call her right away and claim pms or temporary insanity and plead with her to forgive your bratty behavior.

And next time, graciously accept what your kids are given.

[Anonymous]

OP, that sucks that you treated your MIL like this.

Best thing to do now is to give her a call and apologize for losing your temper the way you did.

Part of gift giving is to be a gracious recipient.

If you really can't stand the idea of all that Build a Bear stuff, don't let your kids unwrap the outfits and try to sell them on ebay.

Better yet, give them to charity to kids and families who will appreciate the kindness.

[Anonymous]

So you're upset because you're getting what they want to give you, rather than cash you'd prefer?

Yes, you're wrong and rude. On DCUM when everyone is unanimous, you know you're off. You should call MIL, thank her and apologize.

[Anonymous]

I would be upset as well too, but at the end of the day, it's their decision as to what gift they give. It's a gift - lets the kids enjoy it (and get a bin for all the accessories).

FWIW for my shower we asked my MIL to buy from the registry... needless to say our registry did NOT include a wooden potty chair that rocked.

[Anonymous]

you can always use the cards for bday/holiday presents for other kids...

[Anonymous]

OP, we can't know anything about the dynamic between you and the in laws, but if you can't see that your anger is possibly misplaced, it makes me wonder if your MIL did this on purpose specifically because she doesn't like how you ask for presents. Just a thought.

[Anonymous]

...And to be honest, the rest of the family sends the kids money and we use that each year to actually buy things that they need or we use it to fund their activities. I got a call from MIL today saying that she got the whole rest of the family to go in on it and she bought the kids $300 gift cards to Build-a-Bear!!! WTF? What kind of idiot would do this? Who would think to spend this amount of money on this stuff? I have an almost 5 year old DS and twin not yet 2 year olds. They really are not interested that much. She completely ignored my requests. In fact did the opposite. DH and I are upset. Would you be too? Am I being a bitch complaining about what other people are getting our kids? My point is not what they got the kids (which I still think is ridiculous), but that she did it when I specifically told her NOT to do it. I called her back and confronted her. I told her that it is very disrespectful to not listen to our wishes. It is not about the money (and now lack of my presents that our kids will get), ...

OP, have you been using the money your husband's family sends for gifts, and passing it off as gifts that you bought or activities that you are paying for?

Is it possible that your husband's family has realized that your kids aren't getting to spend the money they send, and maybe that the kids don't realize that Aunt and Uncle are sending them Christmas money? If I am reading your post correctly, could it be possible that they caught wind of this and have been asking your husband's mom to help them with an awkward situation? Do your children even thank the relatives for the money, or share with them what they selected for themselves?

I bet there is far more to your husband's mother's actions than she wanted to get gas points and coupons. I think she was trying to help the other relatives. Just an outside observation.

[Anonymous]

Sounds annoying that she would dictate the gifts from the rest of your family, especially after you told her you didn't want that for your kids. Next time think of an idea that doesn't have a possibility of supplementation?

[Anonymous]

Yes, I would be aggravated. No, I would not say anything.

You can't pick gifts. You can't control others. Just live and learn - next time she asks for ideas, don't bother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not getting the gun/bear analogy.

Can you use the gift card toward a bday party for your kid(s) next year?

This! If you don't want your kids to have a bunch of build a bear crap, spend the gift card on a birthday party. Problem solved.

FWIW, I would be supper annoyed if this happened to me to, but I would NEVER confront a person about it

[Anonymous]

Wow. The fact that you called her and told her something afterwards is...amazingly tacky. My DH would have been pissed...same if he would have done that to my parents. Just wow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, we can't know anything about the dynamic between you and the in laws, but if you can't see that your anger is possibly misplaced, it makes me wonder if your MIL did this on purpose specifically because she doesn't like how you ask for presents. Just a thought.

It's pretty much a given that OP is a bitch, so nothing about her family dynamics would surprise me.

[Anonymous]

Just as your MIL, the gift giver, can give what she wants, you, the gift receiver, can do what you want with the gift. Sell the gift card and use the money for the activities for the kids.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry but $300+ on bears is a fucking joke. This isn't a little bit of money, this is a monumental waste of money. OP - I would have said nothing but would have gone to the store and bought 1 bear for each child and then bought another set of bears, all of which would have gone to children in need. That would be the last time she wasted that money on crap.