Gay and Lesbian Parents: Do you ever have guilt...

[Anonymous]

The world is aggressive and mean, period. Part of growing up is learning to accept that. By providing a loving home, you are giving your kids the best preparation for confronting this reality. Hopefully, growing up in a family with some differences will make your kids stronger, more empathetic, and more open minded than most of their age mates. I'm straight, but I say... don't feel guilty. Feel proud!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have an 10 year old and a 7 year old. Nope, I don't feel any guilt for my kids being raised by 2 moms (who are 2 different races). There are always going to be people who don't accept some group of people. Racism is alive and well, yet African-American or Latino parents don't and shouldn't feel guilt about bringing children into the world.

Our 10 year experienced some teasing from kids in his class. He didn't tell us because he was trying to handle his business. We found out because another classmate (child of straight parents)heard what was happening and called the kids out. We couldn't have been prouder of the way his other classmates and teachers responded.

I don't have time for guilt and neither do you. I'm focused on raising kids who are bright, kind and strong. I cannot protect them from every mean person. But I can raise them to be strong for themselves and for others.

The world will be a better place because of your courage.

Amen to that.

Signed,
A hetero woman in a "traditional" marriage.

[Anonymous]

Straight mom here, in agreement with the sentiments expressed by so many posts above.

Also, OP, I want you to know that I'm teaching my kid to have your kid's back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Straight mom here, in agreement with the sentiments expressed by so many posts above.

Also, OP, I want you to know that I'm teaching my kid to have your kid's back.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Straight mom here, in agreement with the sentiments expressed by so many posts above.

Also, OP, I want you to know that I'm teaching my kid to have your kid's back.

OP here.

Thank you so much, that means the world to me.

[Anonymous]

Do you have guilt because you are rich or poor, fat or thin, pretty or ugly, educated or a high school dropout, American or an immigrant (or illegal), black or white, Jewish, Muslim, Christian, live in a mcMansion or tiny tenemant.....I think all parents feel guilt as we live in a screwed up world....we all do the best we can and hope our kids will turn out ok. Someone can discriminate against you for any reason....I went to a school where caucasian was the minority and was teased mercilessly...not sure if my mom wished we were black though (or felt white guilt). I doubt it!

[Anonymous]

If you have a son what do you do for male role models? And vice versa for a male gay couple with a female kid? Do those things matter?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you have a son what do you do for male role models? And vice versa for a male gay couple with a female kid? Do those things matter?

Just like straight couples, we have grandfathers and uncles and male teachers and male coaches and male friends. All of them provide their perspective as a male for our kids just as they provide them children of straight parents and two-dad families.

[Anonymous]

^^provide them FOR children...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have a son what do you do for male role models? And vice versa for a male gay couple with a female kid? Do those things matter?

Just like straight couples, we have grandfathers and uncles and male teachers and male coaches and male friends. All of them provide their perspective as a male for our kids just as they provide them children of straight parents and two-dad families.

Are there any studies that conclude that there are issues with not having a male / female role model in the household day in day out?

[Anonymous]

PP--There is plenty of research to show that children raised in gay/lesbian households are not negatively impacted.

Scroll to page 19
http://www.ca9.uscourts.gov/datastore/general/2010/10/27/amicus29.pdf

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Straight mom here, in agreement with the sentiments expressed by so many posts above.

Also, OP, I want you to know that I'm teaching my kid to have your kid's back.

+1

+2

[Anonymous]

My kid is 4. He understands some kids have 2 moms, or 2 Dads, or etc etc etc. We are a " straight" couple but we teach our kid that love is love, and families are families. My best friend and her partner have kids so my kid is very familiar and comfortable with what we are teaching him. I have hope that the kids of today will love and respect your kid, mine certainly will. And like the posters above, he will be taught to stand up against any bullying or teasing ( and he's gonna be a BIG kid!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have an 10 year old and a 7 year old. Nope, I don't feel any guilt for my kids being raised by 2 moms (who are 2 different races). There are always going to be people who don't accept some group of people. Racism is alive and well, yet African-American or Latino parents don't and shouldn't feel guilt about bringing children into the world.

Our 10 year experienced some teasing from kids in his class. He didn't tell us because he was trying to handle his business. We found out because another classmate (child of straight parents)heard what was happening and called the kids out. We couldn't have been prouder of the way his other classmates and teachers responded.

I don't have time for guilt and neither do you. I'm focused on raising kids who are bright, kind and strong. I cannot protect them from every mean person. But I can raise them to be strong for themselves and for others.

I think your last comments are some of the best I've ever read as far as rearing children. Truly, it applies for all parents and all children, regardless of their circumstances. Your children are indeed fortunate!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Straight mom here, in agreement with the sentiments expressed by so many posts above.

Also, OP, I want you to know that I'm teaching my kid to have your kid's back.

+1

+2

+3. Parenting is hard enough without unnecessary guilt. My kids don't bat an eye about gay and lesbian families we know, it's just one of the many kinds of families we've taught them about.